Posted by Alii on January 5, 2003, at 23:06:43
In reply to Re: what its like being a bad machine, posted by kid a on January 5, 2003, at 16:56:44
kid_A,
I have printouts to take to the pdoc tomorrow morning to show how deluded my thinking has become. I will be honest with both the pdoc and the therapist (later on that same day) about not having eaten since Friday and whatever all that is about.
My machine needed to be recycled. Picked for parts. Working ones. Let those who could use and be happy with my organs have em. What use is my body when the ruler (brain/mind) is so broken that nothing else matters?!
Darkness descended faster than I expected. Am scared. Tell posse that partner is home so I'm no longer solo. Not that it makes much difference.
Tearily,
Alii
> all my life mental illness has been a voice on my shoulder, whispering, "you're no good", "you're not one of them", "you're inhuman", "you will live this way forever"...
>
> my thought patterns change over the years, in some ways im a lot stronger now... but i still feel alienated, cant/dont call back people who call, two messages today, and i put it off...
>
> when im out and arround people im fine, no agoraphobic (is that the right word), but at home, i have some sort of natural dread of the phone ringing, unless its one of the few people who i can talk to...
>
> being possesed is a bitch,
> all my love.
poster:Alii
thread:34650
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030104/msgs/34678.html