Posted by Emme on February 9, 2003, at 9:39:53
In reply to Horizons....Emme, posted by shar on February 9, 2003, at 1:29:11
> Your post really struck home with me, too. So, along with something we have very little control over (chemical imbalance) we suffer the 'slings and arrows' life delivers.
Yeah, the slings and arrows really push hard at the edges of mood control, don't they?
> One thing I also related to was how you seriously put yourself down (I often think about what a loser I am). For me, that's due to a lot of shame about where I am in life, and a billion other things. The deal about the self-deprecating thinking is it's bad for you (for us), and something we do have some degree of control over. My therapist said to me recently that as we get older, part of maturing is caring less that we aren't someone else's version of "good" or "ok" or "successful."
I know... it's true...beating up oneself is really bad. I find it so hard to stop despite the best cognitive -based efforts of my therapist. The need for external validation is nasty. And all those negative feelings seem to real and so amplified when I'm fogged in with a bad wave of depression. Do you find you have been able to take what your therapist said and translate it into feeling a little better? It often seems that I can hear and agree with what the therapist says, but it doesn't always make it to the emotional part of me.
> Finally, horizons. I lived a long, long time with a bleak, desolate, cold, hopeless horizon stretching before me, an infinite highway of emptiness. However, I can assure you from recent personal experience, that horizon's can change *just enough* to make life bearable. They can even change enough to make life worth living. It may not take a huge shift at all, for you to find something good (not perfect ecstasy, maybe) in your life. Good enough to spark that little bit of will to live.I'll try to hold on to that.
> Good to have you posting again.Thanks. :)
Emme
poster:Emme
thread:36656
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030208/msgs/36726.html