Posted by whiterabbit on May 19, 2003, at 14:20:46
In reply to This American Life (NPR)-developmental disorders, posted by Eddie Sylvano on May 19, 2003, at 10:56:21
Since I began psychiatric treatment, I've been impressed over and over on how brain function (and disfunction) can be compared to a computer.
Of course, the brain is a much more complex and marvelous structure than the computer but, not being the creators of the human brain, we don't understand all its processes and capabilities, while we can understand the computer and its similarities to the mind.I used to work with a wonderful young woman who has Tourettes Syndrome. Although she had some kind of medication that would help her to control the tics, she said that it made her feel sedated and she chose to not use it, preferring to endure the stares and whispers of other people. I was always impressed by her courage and fine personality, and at the office we all became fiercely protective of her.
It became obvious that Tourettes in no way affected her intelligence. She was funny and bright and did well at college. In observing her spasms, this is when I first became aware of how completely the different parts of the brain can operate independently of each other, and this helped me to understand my own illness. I was always bewildered and confused by the incessant stupidity of my actions, how I could have so little control, why I never learned. Any 5-year-old would know better than to do some of the things I did but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't stop myself. No matter how unwise, unhealthy, unsafe, irrational or illegal, I did it anyway.
Watching my young friend with Tourettes, I began to understand that my lack of control was not caused by sheer stupidity. I realized that it's possible to be intelligent or even hyper-intelligent (like a savant) in some parts of your brain, while another part of your brain is totally mis-firing. I have a charming and personable cousin with a bad case of OCD - he'll go outside 20 or 30 times during the day to make sure his car doors are locked...it's pretty bizarre, right out of the "Stepford Wives". Obviously, there's a signal switch in his brain
that's "stuck", triggering this obsession. Surely he knows, he KNOWS, that he's going to find the car doors locked because he's already checked 10 times that morning, the last time just 1/2 an hour ago, but he feels compelled to keep checking.Watching this behavior, one begins to comprehend the roots of an obsessive disorder like gambling.
Everyone has heard about the housewife or the hard-working family man - seemingly normal, stable, average Americans - who go behind the spouse's back and gamble away the house and their life savings, and they don't even stop there. They get loans, borrow money, max out credit cards, and they lose all of that too. What rational person would behave in this manner? Unfortunately, you can be quite rational and still have a gambling problem.I continue to marvel at the difference in myself now that I'm taking effective psychiatric medication. How do they come up with this stuff?
The first big difference I noticed was this: my internal time clock was reset. As long as I take my Seroquel, I go to sleep at night and get up in the morning like other people. This is an astounding change - since my preteens, I've preferred to stay up at night and sleep in the daytime. This is quite a handicap, something I've had to work around and tried to adjust to all my life. I can't tell you what a relief it is to be on the same schedule as everyone else; I feel a lot more human, less vampirish. The miraculous thing, to me, is that Seroquel is not a "sleeping pill" (although it will make you very tired until you've adjusted to it). It doesn't knock you out
like traditional sleep aids, and you don't need to keep increasing the dosage for it to remain effective. Somehow, this drug has altered the chemistry in my brain to put me in a normal sleep cycle. I've literally been "re-programmed" in this way, and in others. Just as dazzling as the sleep change is the "moderation valve" that was installed in my head. I now have much more control over my actions than I did before, particularly with my old demon - alcohol. I can stop myself from getting drunk. If I run out of liquor, I don't get in my car at midnight to go and buy more. I don't drink enough to make myself sick.I've been warned by psychiatrists and even my angel therapist that I shouldn't be drinking at all. (I did say that I have MORE control, not total control.) Although my drinking doesn't worry me nearly as much as it does them, and I'm pretty happy with myself for being able to set and follow some limits (no hard liquor, etc.) where before there were NO limits at all, I suppose that it's hard for me to be safe, to completely stop playing with fire. Still, my candle no longer burns at BOTH ends. Thanks to medication.
-Gracie
poster:whiterabbit
thread:227629
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030517/msgs/227686.html