BEER TROUBLE-SHOOTING

Posted by whiterabbit on July 8, 2003, at 21:55:13

BEER TROUBLE-SHOOTING
SYMPTOM
FAULT
ACTION:
Feet cold & wet-
Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Rotate glass so that open end points towards ceiling.
_
Feet warm & wet-
Improper bladder control.
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house-training.
_
Beer unusually pale & tasteless-
Glass empty.
Get someone to buy you a beer.
_
Opposite wall covered with flourescent lights-
You have fallen backward.
Leash yourself to the bar.
_
Mouth contains cigarette butts-
You have fallen forward.
See directions above.
_
Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet-
Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
_
Floor blurred-
You are looking through bottom of beer glass.
Get someone to buy you another beer.
_
Floor moving-
You are being carried out.
Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
_
Floor seems unusually dark-
Bar has closed.
Confirm home address with bartender.
_
Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect & textures-
Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
Cover mouth.
_
Everyone looks up to you & smiles-
You are dancing on table.
Fall on someone cushy-looking.
_
Beer is crystal-clear-
It's water. Someone is trying to sober you up.
Punch him.
-
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear-
You have been in a fight.
Apologize to everyone you see in case it was them.
-
Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize room-
You've wandered into the wrong party.
See if they have beer.
_
Your singing sounds distorted-
The beer is too weak.
Have more beer until voice improves.
_
Don't remember words to song-
Beer is just right.
Play air guitar.
;-)

Thread

BEER TROUBLE-SHOOTING whiterabbit 7/8/03
Thanks, Whiterabbit, that was great (nm) » whiterabbit fallsfall 7/9/03

Post a new follow-up

Notify the administrators

Start a new thread

poster:whiterabbit thread:240199
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/240199.html

	for
in