Posted by almondjoy on September 13, 2003, at 0:46:00
I'm not generally so insecure, but my relationship w/ my guy (1 year in 5 weeks) scares me. I always worry he's eventually going to get tired of me being sick (anxiety/depression) Everything is cool (except for my moodiness) then I get really depressed and cry alot, which makes him really uncomfortable, or i have a panic attack or don't want to go out for weeks...ahhhh i feel like he must be fustrated, and even more so because i sometimes ask him if he's fustrated or if he's sick of me.
i don't want to ruin things because of my insecurity, if my mental health is part of just who i am, who he accepts, as is, but i can't get it off my mind.
its good in someways, cos i can "fake it till i make it" if i know we'll be seeing each other, i don't wallow, put on a happy face but he knows when im not ok.
this is the longest relationship i've been in, i never wanted one, and wham---i fell in love (for 3 months i thought i was magically cured by love, stopped taking meds) but i started back (and this time for...infinity...???...
i just get so scared he'll break up with me (even though we're stable) everytime i panic or freakout..like on the 99th time I say, sorry babe, i just wanna stay in or the 300th night of me running to the bathroom so i wont wake him crying all night....im rambling...tired
i just need some feedback, anyone in a similar situation on either end, anyone, anyone, anyone?
poster:almondjoy
thread:259543
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/259543.html