Posted by All Done on August 8, 2004, at 11:35:49
If you have no desire to read this post, I completely understand. I feel I've been a pretty lousy Babbler and friend to many of you lately. I'm sorry for not being around much...
...but I can't stop crying. I've been home for about six weeks or so with my son, N. I've found a new job and I start tomorrow. It's a much better situation and pay than I was in before, but I don't want to go. How am I going to leave N again? It's tearing me apart. We've done so many nice things together in these few weeks and we've spent a ton of quiet time together, too.
How do I leave his beautiful smile?
The way he asks for and give me hugs all day long.
The way he asks questions about everything and learns so quickly.
The way he calls me LaurieMommy because no one should be allowed to have two names. Seriously, it’s very confusing.
His big, soulful blue eyes. Can a two year old have soulful eyes? I think he does.
The way he sits patiently in the shopping cart while I compare prices and every once in a while asks me for a hug.
The way he will jump into the pool and swim underwater into my arms 147 times before he gets tired.
The way he loves his Daddy.
His belly laugh.
The way he makes me feel like I matter...a lot.
The way he looks just like his Daddy.
The way he looks just like me.
The way I can’t read enough bedtime stories.
The way he makes my heart melt just thinking about him.
How do I leave this everyday? The pure joy he experiences and helps me to experience. This is killing me.
Is it bad that I'm making this all about me? I don't have any problem with daycare. In fact, in a perfect world, I would have him in daycare at least a couple of days a week because I think he thrives there. This time, it's all about me. *I* don't want to leave him. Plain and simple.
:(
Thanks for listening.
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:375314
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040802/msgs/375314.html