Posted by Destro125 on July 7, 2009, at 18:54:04
I had to quit smoking pot because I lost my job and now I am compensating by drinking almost every night. I want to be totally clean but it feels like I would need some kind of real support or some kind of real life to do that. I just sit here, do the occasional job interview and wait till evening before I start making rum and cokes. It makes me happy, nowhere near as happy as pot did though. Its also more expensive, even with second shelf rum. Hangovers are not something I relish either. I wish that pot was legal. Its certainly the lesser of the two evils. I really wish I didn't have this dependency on narcotics but I hold onto a fear of a life without any. Its always been some drug with me though, and I have really tuned it down since my days as a young adult. I feel this will be my last great hurdle in life, that is if I am not destitute first for a lack of a job. I suppose this is more of a rant than a cry for help. I know what I must do but knowing and doing are two different fish my friends. The temptation to write down anonymously what I can't say to those who might care is too great I suppose. I thank you for listening.
poster:Destro125
thread:905539
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090624/msgs/905539.html