Posted by Solstice on October 9, 2011, at 9:56:44
In reply to I feel helpless, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on October 9, 2011, at 1:23:19
ok Matt.. it looks like you're talking yourself into some things that you need to talk yourself out of. It's hard to change patterns of thinking. I've talked myself into depression and hopelessness - so I really do know how it works. You just need to know that you CAN talk yourself into a better place. Let me see if I can help a little here.
> Ok, this is pretty much whats has been going on. I have to tell my doctor that the antidepressants are not working and I need to get an MAOI.
No problem. Talk to her. You know that she's a little worried about MAOI's, likely because they can be dangerous if you don't avoid things that can cause serious reactions. She may be worried about the difficulty you have tending to those kinds of things. But talk to her - you never know!
> I have been looking at apartments but I have no money and I really feel helpless because I just stay and feel safe and not do anything.Well, right now you don't have the means to get an apartment. I think it's great to look at them.. to dream about it. Wanting something is what fuels our motivation to *do* something. So dream! Just remember - it's one step at a time. You'll make yourself miserable if you are standing on the first step - and expecting to suddenly be on step 10. Don't do that. The next thing you need to do is get to step to - which is to be at that appointment with DARS.
> I never go out and face my demons that tug at me.Well.. you made the call to DARS, and you have a time set up to meet with them. When you did that, you faced your 'demon' of just sitting around and doing nothing. You did something! Feel good about that.
> I wished I was smarter than I am. I just want everything to turn out with no footwork.I don't think being 'smarter' is what's getting in your way. The conflict you're wrestling with is that you want things to be *easy* - with no effort on your part. What I will tell you though - is that if you got things handed to you on a silver platter - it would not make you happy. What makes us feel happy and satisfied, is when we want something constructive (like a job), and we work hard, and then are rewarded by succeeding. THAT is satisfying, it feels good. You would probably really benefit from developing a long-term relationship with a therapist who could coach you through this - who could help you untangle the thinking that keeps getting you twisted up in knots.
> Now, I am going to DARS soon to get envolved with them so I can get a job to support myself. I just see nothing coming.
You see nothing coming?!? You have an appointment with DARS soon! That's what's coming! What you need help with, is your expectation that you'll have it all - overnight. Nothing good and satisfying comes without effort - and not much happens immediately. Most things take effort, and take time.
> I feel so terribly depressed with no hope.I understand hopeless depression. What I want you to recognize, is that you have an appointment with DARS soon. Put some hope in that.
> I am on low expectation mode. My expectations failed me thats why I stopped having expectations in myself.I think your expectations might be misplaced. You are judging yourself by unrealistic expectations (like: "I'm a failure because I'm not living in my own apartment") Your expectations need an overhaul. A therapist could help you with that.. which might give you a light at the end of the tunnel.. make you feel hopeful.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:999143
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110910/msgs/999181.html