Posted by ClearSkies on August 17, 2014, at 5:51:53
In reply to Re: Now comes the hard part, posted by baseball55 on August 16, 2014, at 19:53:05
> > Yes, it's me. I promised myself that when the weather improved, I would go back to my old name.
> > I have an apartment rented to move into in a couple of weeks. Divorce will be going ahead. He wanted to avoid the lawyers, but I would be under his thumb - as I am now - and I need to be free and clear.
>
> I'm very happy for you, but also know how stressful this whole process can be. My husband and I did not engage lawyers and managed to settle things amicably and remain on good terms, but this isn't for everyone. Frankly, I don't think we could have done it except that our adult daughter was in constant contact and, when I told her he was being difficult and I was planning on getting a lawyer, she got right in touch with him. The next day, he was all agreeable. Problem solved.
>
> One of the hard issues for me was that I bought a place rather than renting. This meant I had to wait for him to refinance to get my share of the equity from our home, then wait to close on the place I was buying. So 3 months passed between the time I decided to leave and the time I left. Not a pleasant three months.
>
> Glad you have a place to move lined up. Good luck. Keep us posted.I am renting a little shoebox that will be ready in a few weeks. I knew a lawyer had to be retained as soon as I heard the word "money" coming out of his mouth every 3 seconds. Control is control. Money is control, and I want no part of having to justify what the meaning of 50/50 is.
So it is uncomfortable and really quiet. Tension very thick. But silence suits me well, too. I am keeping a low profile. Amiability is not a familiar trait in his family; it isn't going to magically appear because I'd wish it to.
Thanks for your support, I appreciate it.
poster:ClearSkies
thread:1069755
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140718/msgs/1069936.html