Posted by alexandra_k on May 1, 2015, at 22:20:23
In reply to Re: not doing so well, posted by baseball55 on April 26, 2015, at 19:35:27
> You've really taken on a very hard and challenging field, Alex, and with some gaps in your preparation. You've passed, which is something to say. And will get better next semester.
Thanks Baseball. I get scared because... Things are pretty much decided by the start rather than the end of next semester.
Three of the four courses that determine our overall ranking are this semester. They send out interview offers before the grades are back for any of the courses next semester. Looking at forums with past students... The first test results seem to work as a major sorter... I remember feeling upset a while ago that things seemed to be determined / decided so very early on... But I think I'm starting to come to a better understanding of why.
I think I did reasonably well in the sections of biology that were new to everyone. So... The tissue section at the start and the embryology section. (Though maybe not... Grades aren't back yet). I really didn't do so well in the middle chunk of 'everything you should have learned about DNA / cell cycle / metabolism etc over the last three years'. Mostly... I was unlucky with the content that was focused on... And I didn't manage to get through all of the content... Even though I really did work my *ss off over the study break trying to get through it all...
With chemistry... I'm still learning how to learn it. And I made so many ridiculous errors. Simply because the test meant to much to me, I guess. I hadn't memorised the reaction schemes I should have etc. Ran out of time studying for biology and didn't realize I needed to memorise them until it was a bit late.
Anyway... Nothing irrevokable. I got 9 out of a possible 15% towards overall grade. So... I only lost 6%. So... I'm still sitting on 94% with respect to marks I"ve lost thus far. That is how to look at it.
Must.
Work.
Harder.Hrmph.
That seems to be the decider. A bunch of people gave up during the study break once they realised they couldn't learn it all. A bunch of people gave up once they got crappy marks back. A bunch of people decided that... They would rather be B or C students and go join clubs and have more fun etc.
I think... They basically want for that to happen. For people to... Sort themselves out. To work hard or to... Decide they don't want it, really. I think... They want to see how much I want this / whether I'm prepared to work for it, yeah.
I... Don't have to do anywhere near as well as most of the 'traditional' students do. I mean... For those kids who went to wonderful schools with wonderful teachers... Those kids who supposedly want this for real... There really would be something really very wrong if those kids couldn't get near perfect marks for the 'everything you should have learned in the past three years' parts of the course. And there is a lot of that for chemistry...
They aren't surprised at all that I'm having a bit of a hard time understanding / reading condensed structural formula (need to translate to hieregliphs to 'see' what's going on). It just takes... Time...
But it is hard not being near the best / up in the best batch. For sure. But I guess... They need to see that I can eat humble pie and... Just keep working to improving and... Improve, yeah.
Yeah... Really can't afford to get behind at all. Really need to listen to the lecture recording and rewrite out all the notes for the day in a learnable format every freaking day. Must. Not. Get. Behind. Eeeeeeeep. I can work harder... I can work smarter... And... I will. Yeah.
3 weeks till chemistry test round 2.
Semester will all be over in 8 weeks...
Oddly... Chemistry labs are going great. Really enjoying them a lot, now. Having a great lab demonstrator who seems to get me (and doesn't make me feel more anxious) really helps a lot. I can actually.... Function in them. Yay.
The social science ones are next to impossible... They aren't clear with their questions and I can't tell what they want from me. E.g., they ask 'population health does x' and I'm supposed to say whether it is true or false. I get that the *goal* or *aim* of population health is to do x - but I don't know from that whether it is true or false that it is successful in it's goal... I don't understand what they want from me... They tell me to 'don't overthink it' or to 'think less' but I... Can't.
So...
I needed to request that the dean launch an independent inquiry into my first assignment because the school of population health refused to. They played dumb / were dumb... I don't entirely know what to say... I think... There is a lot of corruption, basically, with people making money with the whole population health thing... Making a lot of money off students who enroll because they think it will get them into medicine... Students who the uni can tell already don't have a hope in hell. But they take their money anyway... They actively market / recruit them... They've adopted a marking schedule that praises people for... Basically giving them their lecture notes straight back in essay format and I... My conscience won't allow...
Anyway..
One of the ladies over there is a bit dangerous, I think... That... Needing me to be dumb / supplicant... That kind of thing... I need to steer well clear of her... But I also need to ensure that she doesn't get any kind of option at all to fail me / mess up my med chances because I won't do what she needs / wants me to do... Manschausen... sp... Something like that... There are people... Through the health system... I think I have a pretty good eye for them... The power to go 'not that one - keep that one the hell away from me'... Oh yeah...
I got a CAT scan of my feet... The technician came in half way through the scan and asked me 'how far up your leg does the pin go'. Then instead of letting me indicate an answer she started jabbing me repeatedly in the leg and emphatically saying at a rapid rate of knots 'here?' 'here?' 'here'? 'here'? and I didn't have the option of responding.
Hard to explain this...
Basiscaly... I couldn't move because I was half way in the the middle of the scan. If I had have moved she would have complained about my being non-compliant etc etc etc. So I had to just lie there unmoving while she poked at me. She did that because... She could.
Those people. Shouldn't be allowed near other people unsupervised.
Ugh.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1078452
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20150214/msgs/1078616.html