Posted by Susan J on September 22, 2003, at 11:15:13
In reply to Insight Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by galkeepinon on September 18, 2003, at 0:46:30
Hiya,
I hear you! I just watched 5 hours of Dr. Phil yesterday, which I taped while I was at work last week, and I cried like a baby when watching the pain that the overweight people were in on his show! And I thought it was only me! The fatter the U.S. gets, the more we try to come to terms with it and accept it and not discriminate against overweight people, which is wonderful!
But it hurts me, because I'm *not* OK with myself being overweight. I'm *not* ever going to be happy like this, so I've *got* to fix it. Not accept it. Fix it. I think you feel the same way....
> I am getting heavier and am not liking it. I know what to do but I don't. I am thinking about starting Dr. Phil's weight loss new book with his people on his show as I found myself in 2 of them (sexually abused, and a former model)
<<I think it's a great idea to follow Dr. Phil's plan! I haven't read the book yet, but in general, I like the guy, so I'd probably respond well to him. Do you like his style? If so, he'd be a good motivator for you, too.I got so fed up with myself, battling depression for 2 years and not winning, and realized that weighing more than I should is a *major* factor in my not recovering from depression. I've been following Weight Watchers since Saturday and doing well. Not a long time, but 3 days of not overeating, and really picking healthy food choices is an accomplishment for me. :-)
> Pleaseeeeeeee someone shed some light on how I can get started on doing this. I need support and I need comments on where to turn.
I'm scared and I hate this. I am NOT a fat person :(
<<Do you know what healthy eating is and you just can't make yourself do it? Or are you puzzled by what constitutes healthy food choices? I don't mean to be patronizing if that's the way I'm coming across, I just think these are two different types of people and need two different approaches to weight loss.If you don't know what healthy food choices are, I think a diet like Weight Watchers Points, or seeing a nutritionist will help immensely, and people I know like this have lost weight and easily (fairly easily) kept it off.
For people who *know* what's healthy and understand that macaroni and cheese is *not* a vegetable side dish, it really comes down to emotional eating and while I don't know if that's an addiction, it's very very hard to beat. And if you are dealing with sexual abuse issues, it could be a very deep rooted emotional response indeed. I have not survived that type of thing, so I'm not even going to comment on it. Nothing I say could help, and might only hurt.
I'm in this category -- emotional eater. And I've found you've got to hit bottom like a drug or alcohol addict and get that *motivated* feeling to really change your life. It takes a LOT of energy to lose weight, I kid you not. I've lost 50 pounds twice in my life, and never felt better. I gain it back, and do not understand why.....But I feel that *psyched* need to lose the weight again, finally, and I'm going to hopefully lose it for good. I refuse to hit 37 years old and not be a healthy weight. I refuse.
Advice for you: (Please take what sounds good and throw away the rest). :-)
1. Follow Dr. Phil's diet on TV. Tape the episodes. Play them again and again thru the week if you feel you are weakening in your battle against food. A support network and cheerleader are *crucial* in suceeding, which is why Weight Watchers has those meetings. I hated those, cuz I couldn't relate to people there at all, but I've got to say when I went, I did better. I don't know why. But I felt energized by Dr. Phil's show in the privacy of my own home. If it feels positive to you, it just might work.
2. Set a reasonable goal for you. I weighed 130 in high school. I'll never see that again. I'd be happy with 150, where I can buy stylish clothes, exercise like I want, and have more energy.
3. Keep repeating to yourself that a thinner body and the resulting happiness/self content you will feel is worth more than the instant satisfaction of eating a donut, or candy bar, or chips, or whatever it is you take pleasure in eating. There *is* an instant reward in eating food -- it's pleasurable. It tastes good. Focusing on the good taste takes our minds off other stressful junk. You and I and others have to learn, in this instant gratification society, to *wait* for our gratification.
4. Are you a fruit or vegetable person? Start eating more of whichever, even if you haven't cut back your bad habits yet. They really do make you feel fuller....and are good for you. I like veggies myself, but am having some luck subbing bananas for candy bars. (But only when I'm strong). :-)
5. You'll have to tackle the emotional issues that go along with weight, and I think that's the most difficult of all. My mother started dragging me to Weight Watchers when I was 10 because I was chubby, and all I knew is that I failed her, I was ugly, I was fat, I was wrong. She didn't love me like I was. She never would. The heartbreaking thing is, I look back at pictures of myself, and I'm not overweight at all.
6. Most important: Dr. Phil says our physical image is not our self-image, yet we really identify with that physical image. I don't know why, but he's right. You have to separate them, or you'll never win. I think this might be even more difficult for you. If you feel that you were a victim of sexual abuse because of your looks or simply just because of your gender, you might not want to return to those looks. If you feel that you are only worth something because of your looks (modeling), then you feel like cra- now that you don't feel pretty. And that's a hard feeling to overcome.
Focus on the fact you are smart, caring, insightful, fun, etc. You are, you know. Everyone here on this board is like the classic tragic greek hero to me. Through our pain comes our wisdom. Through the acknowledgement of our difficulties comes our strength. A battle identified is a battle half won. And if you hate your weight now, and if you've got that psyched up determination that I'm probably not describing very well, then you'll succeed.
And I'll always give you emotional support if you want it. I've got to lose 50 pounds again to even feel human. That number scares me to death. But Weight Watchers (I sound like a walking commerical, don't I?) says initially go for losing 20% of your goal. So I first need to focus on the first 10 pounds. Makes it a lot simpler.
If you've got the money and time, I'd recommend doing Weight Watchers along with Dr. Phil's plan. It's a healthy, well-balanced diet that lets you have bad stuff every once in a while and focuses on protein and fiber and healthy carbs like veggies and whole fruits.
Good luck. You deserve to hit your goal, and I'll always cheer you on if you want. My goal is to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. I'll be happy if I hit 15....
poster:Susan J
thread:261240
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20030903/msgs/262390.html