Posted by Lindsay Rae on January 31, 2004, at 23:13:08
In reply to Re: acid users plz share ur experiences, posted by lucy_fyrr on January 30, 2004, at 23:07:39
I was diagnosed with depression when I was 17. I was given Paxil and sent on my way. I graduated from high school and went off to college in Orlando, FL (from Boston, MA), where I gratiously declined offers and suggestions for joining a sorority and managed to scope out the only guys at the dorm who smoked weed daily and dropped acid occasionally. My roommate and her boyfriend, Angel, were into ecstasy and roofies, so I was often locked out of my room so they could have sex all the time. I decided to join my new buddies in some black blotter acid, with the intention of "going crazy" so I wouldn't have to feel depressed and unworthy anymore. I was tired of listening to Dust in the Wind on my walkman; I wanted to escape. I'm 27 now, and I can't count how many times I took acid back then, but it was the better part of two years at least. I've always been a deep analytical type, so tripping was always very intense for me...I would watch Natural Born Killers and pretend I was Juliette Lewis. I surrounded myself with people who were less attractive and socially devoid so that I would feel like the queen bee. I switched over to drinking beer at 20 years old, and I did ecstasy about ten times over five years, and I can honestly say today that I am MUCH worse than I was at age 17, when I was diagnosed with depression. Two years ago, I did mushrooms, and it was awesome at first, but some time during the camping weekend/drug fest in Cocoa Beach, I let a friend inject me with Heroin. I found myself tripping hard on shrooms and dope sick at the same time. Am I scarred fromm that experience? Absolutely. Long story boring, here are my symptoms of lasting Hallucinogen impairment: Extreme sensitivity to light, sound, touch...panic/anxiety warranting Xanax three times a day...social problems...the list goes on and on. Opiate-based drugs and/or alcohol kept me sane for a couple of years, but then I got pregnant and had to cease all such activity. That was January '02, and the reality of reality is frightening. I'm plagued by confusion and accutely aware of everything going on in my body. Sometimes I feel like my eyes are bulging out of my head, and I have vivid nightmares that are hard to differentiate from reality. I'm jealous of people who can just get through every day without wondering what's wrong with them.
Some of you might argue that the other drugs are to blame, but I know how tripping changed my way of thinking, and it's hard to live life with those memories...wondering if those hallucinated thoughts were real or fabricated.
Thanks for any feedback.
Lindsay
poster:Lindsay Rae
thread:305247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040130/msgs/307968.html