Posted by panic_attack on February 13, 2004, at 19:22:41
I am getting out of control. Last night, I did a bag of cocaine, took a Klonopin and drank like a fish. I don't remember anything but getting kicked out of a bar. A bunch of girls came up to me, grabbed me by my arm, took me outside and were about to jump me. Supposedly, I was calling them b*tches, and whor*s and I do not remember anything at all. I dont remember calling them names. Why cant i just stop drinking? I overdosed on cocaine a few years ago and now im all screwed up. I rely on medication for anxiety/panic attacks and sleep. I gave up on the drugs for years and now I am slowly starting to use them again. I could never quit drinking. Im such a drunk. After I drink, the next day i feel like dying all day and cannot leave my bed. I always get scared that I will end up back in the hospital. I have hospitalized myself like 5 or 6 times. I just cant seem to get 100% sober and drug free. My mom says she is planning my funeral cuz she knows im going to die soon. It is going on 10 years of drug and alcohol abuse. I am tired of feeling sick all the time. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am constantly sick!!! I have tried to quit so many times and was unsuccessful. I guess God chose my life path and I am going to die as a drug/alcoholic loser. Pretty sad.
poster:panic_attack
thread:312986
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040130/msgs/312986.html