Posted by katia on April 11, 2004, at 4:22:00
In reply to Re: Barbara here » katia, posted by BarbaraCat on April 11, 2004, at 0:14:01
> Hi Katia (are you really Susan? It'll be a while til I'm used to that!)
OH! SHeeeat! I cannot believe after all this time, I let it slip. At least it was w/ you!!!
I'm just trying to remain anonymous!!!! Yikes! I was always sooooo careful! yes, Barb, my dear I'm really Susan!!! But let's keep it to Katia during anymore correspondence please! When I saw you wrote my name I almost had a heart attack! I couldn't figure out how you knew until I scrolled down to the bottom. Sorry to fool you all, but it's just a matter of wanting to be anonymous!>>Didn't you have that done and it didn't do a dang thing for your mood disorder?
**Funny you ask this question because I DID have my mercury removed in '99, but it was because I was unaware I was BP or even suffered from depression. I could't pinpoint where the trouble was and why I was so messed up so I figured it was mercury! (or whatever the holistic rage was w/ me. I was always going somewhere "naturally" before finally realizing I was indeed suffering from a mood disorder that *could* be remedied by meds.
>>Anyhow, today I actually went out and re-potted one rose. But that was it for me. I'm totally wiped. I give thanks that the powers that look over me protected me from anything worse, like doing IV instead of oral. Some of the picures of severe SJS cases are horrifying. And there's not a damn thing you can do except provide life and symptom support.
**God honey. I'm soo sooo sorry you've had to go thru' this on top of everything else you've endured. That will be one precious rose! I'm actually amazed that there are cases of SJS like you who aren't that bad. I thought it was either death or hideous disfiguration. Not at all to belittle what you're going thru'. How long will it be until you're better? I hope soon.
>>I also know that given the stresses I had in childhood and all throughout life, there's alot that I have to heal on very deep levels. Not that I'm against meds at all and will continue to take them on an as-needed basis, but the fact is, that the intense emotions would ALWAYS break through and then it would be another med search. Nothing worked long term and the extra med burden wasn't doing my liver any good.
**Great for you. I was hoping that meds can help us access those wounded places that we need to access, but cannot w/out support b/c we are already too deep in emotion. It is tricky this whole med thing and getting it right. AT first I thought "yes! I've finally admitted something is not right w/ me - mood wise and I'll get help w/ meds! and poof! it'll all be better. One thing I'm realizing is I am who I am and meds can help, but I will ALWAYS have to deal w/ who I am.
And another topic/slant altogether. I was thinking: depressed/mercurial people = sensitivity/perception. Maybe it's just that most of us are really tuned in to a bigger spiritual picture, but do not know how to hold it in this crazy world so we become depressed. I know I've thought of that before, but it's holding new light for some reason. It's too coorelated. Sensitive aware creative people are often moody and depressed people. The moodiness could be a result of our awareness w/in a world that is NOT that aware and we are eaten alive and do not know how to deal w/ the insight and knowledge.....just the thought of the evening...
>>down mentally on lithium but it sure loused up my thyroid worse than it already was. I'm still waiting to get the pudge off that's supposed to just roll right off when you stop, but no such luck.
***It's funny b/c after my brief stint w/ Li. I've been losing hair and not losing weight even tho' I've been running around crazy (and this is the time I lose weight) and eating nothing. I think it made me hypothyroid...(I know I know we've had this conversation and I just need to go and get tested)...
>>Is Seroquel new for you? I hear it's a great sleeper and helps prevent those gawd-awful mixed states we both know too well.
**Nope, it's not new at all. I've been taking Seroquel since July for sleep as needed. But I am taking it every night now. Almost 25mg. At first it seemed to make more depressed. But now I can't tell; it's been too long and now I love it for sleep. It knocks me out and let's me sleep thru' the night. I love it. For mixed states, it could possibly be helping in that dept. it all depends on the other meds and my moods and the time of year and time of month and what's going on w/ my life at that time and etc. etc......oh dear I'm exhausted!
I did just up my Lamictal yesterday to 50mg and went into an awful wierd agitated state for the past two days...but as I said earilier in another post to do w/ Lamictal "It's so hard to tell w/ mercurial moods! It's not like it's flat line and then boom! a med works. There are so many factors to put into place!!!!" and this goes for when we titrate up on a med too. Maybe it's because I'm ovulating or the move has died down.... etc. et...
who the heck ever knows what's what!!! unless you're off meds!>>>I'm sure your delightful you-ness had something to do with it! Having your own home really works magic for feelings of belonging and 'coming home' in so many ways.
** Thank you for the compliment Barb! BTW, it's sooo good to correspond w/ you again!! I missed you!!! And would have loved your posts regardless if you were "spreading your darkeness" or not!
>>As I recall, you're in Psych? Can you tell me any more details?
**Yes, transpersonal psych w/ life coaching certificate.
You keep in touch Miss Barbara Cat!
Thinking of you and wishing you well!
Katia (wink wink)
poster:katia
thread:288885
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040409/msgs/335101.html