Posted by Impermanence on May 19, 2004, at 23:11:52
In reply to Alcohol: feeling doomed. Is there any hope for me?, posted by Caper on May 19, 2004, at 10:14:39
My thoughts are with you Caper, I understand exactly how you feel. Of course there is hope for you, there is always hope, in fact you have to change your mind set from "is there hope" to "I WILL do this". The power of negitve thought for us addicts is devastating, in turn the power of positive thinking although tedious is what will get you through this.
Unfortunately alcoholism is something thats likely to be with you your whole life, but with support and will power something that you and not alcohol can be in control of.Although one drink is all it takes to lead some people on a path of self destruction 16 months is not a very long time drinking and it does prove you have a very addictive personality. It would be wise of you to keep getting help and talking to people before the problem goes from months to years, which as I well know can easily happen my friend.
Us addicts usually have a powerful drive in us and if the viod when off alcohol is not filled with other intrests and hobbies our engines will revert back towards the drink.
I relapse (drink and drugs) all the time, it can be very disheartening. I feel o.k. for a few days or weeks and then a certain situation or mood will come along and I forget or should I say "choose" to forget the seriousness of my problem and end up binge drinking for a week or so, four occasions ended the binge with a serious sucuide attempt, three which have landed me in a psychiatric ward.
The most important thing for me was to get back on my feet and start all over again. I tried not to worry about if I'd ever drink again, or look to far into the future, just do it day by day and try to build up some sort of a life while I'm clean and sober.Seven years of alcohol and drug abuse have left me with terrible anxiety (social phobia) and periods of depression, fatigue and insomnia which has really messed up and complicated my life. I take antidepressants, benzodiazepines and sleeping tablets every day and the benzos now are as much of a problem for me now as any drug was. Be very careful with the Valium!!!
You seem like an intelligent person Caper with alot to offer the world, never give up no matter how many times you fall. It's very common to relapse again and again before you start to get a grip on things, dont let it get you down. You also have a child to think about.
One thing I've learned about alcoholism / addiction is you have to truly want to give up before you actually do. It takes time and sometimes alot of suffering before you start to change your ways and realize the quick fix is never going to get you anywhere. A glass of wine or a bottle of vodka, it's all the same, you're an alcoholic who cannot drink anymore. It's killing you slowly and hurting those who care about you.
I've devoloped a faith in God and meditation over the last couple of years and this has really helped me, every day is still a battle but I'm learning to live in the moment and just "feel" instead of numbing myself so much. I know now I'll get through this but like you it's going to take time and effort.
I'll think of you next time I pray.
Take care and stay positive.
poster:Impermanence
thread:348539
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040409/msgs/348752.html