Posted by starlight on December 30, 2004, at 0:37:15
In reply to know thy self, posted by lulugarcia on October 16, 2004, at 9:39:29
This is such an excellent post. I'd like to quit. But I haven't yet. This has been a very hard year to cope with, and I've found myself smoking more now than never. I'd like to have the epiphany that would release me from this in an instant, but then, I enjoy the feeling as well. It's a tough place. I've been having lower back pain as well and am taking flexeril for that, and worry about my tendency to like to be drugged up.
My past has been very painful, but my present is lovely. I try to focus on the present - to be present minded yet the habit is constant, and it seems that I have convinced myself that it's better. But in the end, I worry about my lungs and health, and also think I'd be more productive as an artist and in my day job. My dad always said that I had no willpower and I'd like to see myself prove that wrong, but no luck so far....
I was bullimic/anorexic when I was in my late teens, early twenties, so the addiction thing is in my genes. I'm aware of it, but so far, have yet to control it through willpower and not feel like I'm missing something.
I also take Effexor XR - 75 mgs, lamictal and trileptal too - so when you add all those factors in - I worry that I might have a problem.
Thanks for reading and happy new year to all of you.
starlight
poster:starlight
thread:368221
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20041128/msgs/435589.html