Posted by vbAgent on January 12, 2006, at 16:53:29
In reply to Re: our histories - Contemplation and Guilt, posted by vbAgent on January 12, 2006, at 15:33:39
Denial is a sign that you may have a problem. The stimulant is the problem. I have justified the (responsible and cautious) use of stimulants because I have received a diagnosis of ADHD a number of times throughout my life. I am treating a verifiable mental disorder, right? It's documented. So, the use was justified. The use was legal. The use served a purpose by treating ADHD. Interestingly, I experience insomnia with and without being under the influence of stimulants; I've taken breaks from stimulants for weeks at a time. To reitereate, it's important to bear in mind that I don't misuse or abuse Adderall because I'm hypersensitive. It's aggravating something. Anyway, recent use of cannabis is probably to ameliorate the negative effects of a stimulant. Maybe it's too soon to know for sure. Cannabis is relaxing and helps me sleep. Lunesta calms a restless mind. Adderall can cause anxiety, restlessness and insomnia. It seems almost too complicated to figure out...but I think I get it. At least (or so I think) I am narrowing the problem down. I should feel lucky that I haven't abused or misused Adderall or took a high dosage schedule. Otherwise, abruptly stopping may cause serious rebound problems. But what's next? What if the insomnia is still present, even if to a lesser degree? What if I'm still anxious or depressed? Something certainly brought me to the psychiatrist in the first place many years ago. Something is responsible for the insomnia, ADHD and Anxiety Disorder NOS diagnoses. Something was certainly responsible for being discharged from the military; I had no access to controlled medication or cannabis at basic training and I had severe insomnia. Intermittent cannabis use is only recent. So what resembles ADHD that has an anxiety and insomnia component? GAD? Bipolar? Depression? Simple anxiety? A combination thereof? I guess time will tell. The important thing is to stay away from Adderall and Lunesta for a while. I don't know at this point how long it will be before another diagnosis, if any, will be considered.
poster:vbAgent
thread:597597
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20051211/msgs/598400.html