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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by inthegloaming on February 23, 2004, at 22:10:45
hi. i'm new to the board and just this weekend had a rather unpleasant experience. i've been taking 40mgs of fluoxetine (prozac generic) and i had a bit to drink. i got very sleepy and slow and out-of-it and someone i know took advantage of me. there was no acutal sex and it didn't go very far but it went far enough that now i'm uncomfortable with what happened. at the time, i didn't care; i was off and away somewhere. it felt like a doctors exam. now, though, i'm sick and scared and just found out that i'd actually been taking 80mgs by mistake for about a month--my doctor switched me from 2 20mg tabs to 1 40mg and i didn't know. i didn't take my dose before drinking--thank god--and what a wonder that was.
what i want to know is--is this assault? i'm really confused and torn up about it, etc. etc. and keep thinking that i could have died from the booze and the prozac if i'd taken that days dose. can anyone help me answer these questions? thanks!
Posted by Bill LL on February 24, 2004, at 8:16:49
In reply to Fluoxetine and Alchohol--please help, posted by inthegloaming on February 23, 2004, at 22:10:45
Taking 80 mg of Prozac with a moderate amount of Alcohol won't kill you, but it is generally not a good thing to do as you found out.
My reading of your post is that what your friend did was definitely abuse and probably criminal abuse. Don't keep it bottled up inside. You need to tell people what happened. I'm not good at giving advice on this sort of thing but maybe someone else can.
Posted by inthegloaming on February 24, 2004, at 9:33:32
In reply to Re: Fluoxetine and Alchohol--please help, posted by Bill LL on February 24, 2004, at 8:16:49
thanks for your letter. i have talked to said person about what happened and they feel terrible. i'm still wavering on whether or not it was strict 'abuse...' i mean, i'm not physically harmed from it or anything, but... i mean it was violating, sure, but abuse is a strong word...
i don't know. i'm confused about it. i'm angry and hurt, etc. etc. because this is really my first 'sexual' (tho it involved no intercourse) experience and it wasn't what i'd wanted. it was about as romantic as a trip to the doctors office and... well yeah. i have issues with being touched and this person knew that, and tried it while i was out of it. THAT is a violation of trust, etc. etc.
sorry to keep rambling like this. i'm just... it hurts. a lot. and i'm scared. my first 'encounter' was with a drunken person trying to kiss and touch me so... so it's just... ugh.
anyway, thanks for reading.
Posted by B2chica on February 24, 2004, at 9:36:07
In reply to Fluoxetine and Alchohol--please help, posted by inthegloaming on February 23, 2004, at 22:10:45
> hi. i'm new to the board and just this weekend had a rather unpleasant experience. i've been taking 40mgs of fluoxetine (prozac generic) and i had a bit to drink. i got very sleepy and slow and out-of-it and someone i know took advantage of me. there was no acutal sex and it didn't go very far but it went far enough that now i'm uncomfortable with what happened. at the time, i didn't care; i was off and away somewhere. it felt like a doctors exam. now, though, i'm sick and scared and just found out that i'd actually been taking 80mgs by mistake for about a month--my doctor switched me from 2 20mg tabs to 1 40mg and i didn't know. i didn't take my dose before drinking--thank god--and what a wonder that was.
> what i want to know is--is this assault? i'm really confused and torn up about it, etc. etc. and keep thinking that i could have died from the booze and the prozac if i'd taken that days dose. can anyone help me answer these questions? thanks!I agree with Bill, this is not something you should bottle up inside (trust me i know). There should be a local crisis hotline in you phone book. Give them a call (it's anonymous) talk it out and should you decide to press criminal charged they can help you with what you need to do.
B2c.
Posted by Sad Panda on February 24, 2004, at 10:01:47
In reply to Re: Fluoxetine and Alchohol--please help, posted by B2chica on February 24, 2004, at 9:36:07
> > hi. i'm new to the board and just this weekend had a rather unpleasant experience. i've been taking 40mgs of fluoxetine (prozac generic) and i had a bit to drink. i got very sleepy and slow and out-of-it and someone i know took advantage of me. there was no acutal sex and it didn't go very far but it went far enough that now i'm uncomfortable with what happened. at the time, i didn't care; i was off and away somewhere. it felt like a doctors exam. now, though, i'm sick and scared and just found out that i'd actually been taking 80mgs by mistake for about a month--my doctor switched me from 2 20mg tabs to 1 40mg and i didn't know. i didn't take my dose before drinking--thank god--and what a wonder that was.
> > what i want to know is--is this assault? i'm really confused and torn up about it, etc. etc. and keep thinking that i could have died from the booze and the prozac if i'd taken that days dose. can anyone help me answer these questions? thanks!
>
> I agree with Bill, this is not something you should bottle up inside (trust me i know). There should be a local crisis hotline in you phone book. Give them a call (it's anonymous) talk it out and should you decide to press criminal charged they can help you with what you need to do.
> B2c.
>I don't agree with Bill as I don't know the whole story. What, exactly did this person do? When you told him/her to stop, did he/she stop?
Fluoxetine+Alchohol: Not taking your Prozac before drinking actually makes no real difference. Fluoxetine has an extremely long half life of 7-14 days with some people taking as long as 30 days to get rid of it.
Cheers,
Panda.
Posted by snarley on February 24, 2004, at 13:57:08
In reply to Re: Fluoxetine and Alchohol--please help, posted by inthegloaming on February 24, 2004, at 9:33:32
You said this was your first "sexual" experience. How old are you, and how old was the person who was taking advantage of you in your drunk/drugged state? You said you were sleepy/spaced-out and off in a different place--did you say no or try to get them to stop?
Also, how well did you know this person? If you considered them a good friend, maybe you should re-evaluate that. It's good that they said they felt sorry about it, but that could just be "damage control" type behavior. I'm sure they dont want to get in trouble.
I once had a "friend" (a neighbor in my dorm who i had known for maybe 6 months, seemed like a good guy) who took slight advantage of me one evening when i fell asleep watching a movie with him. I woke up to find my bra had been unsnapped and he had his hands all over my chest. I kicked him out of my room and havent talked to him since. If you're young-ish (like i suspect you are--and probably so was the "friend") you need to let them know that kind of behavior isnt tolerated by normal people...maybe next time they have the opportunity with someone else they will think twice.
I have been on a lot of antidepressants and such in the past that have affected my alcohol tolerance (since high school) and have always found that it's better to do a dry run once i've been on something for a while to figure out how much i can drink and still stay relatively normal--BEFORE i go out and drink with other people. The stuff i'm on right now i can drink maybe a beer every hour and a half, any more and i start getting sloshed. It's a really good idea to know your limits so you don't accidentally put yourself in a situation like that again.
Young guys are horny by nature, and when drunk they are even more so. You need to keep your wits about you and be able to say no when things go too far.
Snarley
Posted by inthegloaming on February 24, 2004, at 22:30:22
In reply to Re: Fluoxetine and Alcohol--please help » inthegloaming, posted by snarley on February 24, 2004, at 13:57:08
> You said this was your first "sexual" experience. How old are you, and how old was the person who was taking advantage of you in your drunk/drugged state? You said you were sleepy/spaced-out and off in a different place--did you say no or try to get them to stop?
>i'm 19 and yes, i'm admittedly late to the game. there were some things i did say no to--not like 'no' but pushed away--but at the time the other stuff was like... like it was almost like it was happening to someone else and i just happened to be there. i dunno. i mean, i was there but i wasn't. the thing that hurts is that this person would even try this, knowing i was in a different state, and take advantage of that.
> Also, how well did you know this person? If you considered them a good friend, maybe you should re-evaluate that. It's good that they said they felt sorry about it, but that could just be "damage control" type behavior. I'm sure they dont want to get in trouble.
>this person is (was?) a good, good friend. we'd had talks about this kind of stuff before and they knew my stance on sexual touching and my feelings towards them: PLATONIC.
> Young guys are horny by nature, and when drunk they are even more so. You need to keep your wits about you and be able to say no when things go too far.
this wasn't a guy... but whatever. i mean, the point is i thought that i would be OK b/c i was amongst my friends...
anyway, thanks for your letter!
Posted by snarley on February 25, 2004, at 0:46:43
In reply to Re: Fluoxetine and Alcohol--please help, posted by inthegloaming on February 24, 2004, at 22:30:22
Sorry about the guy comment, i put in at the last moment, guess since i'm a chick who's had stuff happen like that with loser guys in the past i'm biased toward that as a first guess.
Sounds like you tried your best to voice your displeasure about it despite your dazed state. AND since the friend knew your stance on sexual stuff before that point, that makes it even worse. What they did to you was definitely wrong anyway, and even more so after what you just clarified, and at the very least you should not call them your "friend" anymore. Someone who does that once (and knew you were against it like they did) will probably try it again if they think they can get away with it in the future.
In the meantime, you might try getting some counseling/therapy (maybe from one of those sources listed in previous posts to this thread). It can really eat at you over time, especially if it was your first time doing anything like that. I was raped in high school and I didnt get help until a few years after the fact. My experience should have warranted me pressing criminal charges, but i was too overwhelmed by it all to do anything at the time. Talk it out with people and if it will make you feel better to take some sort of action, go for it. It's good to see that you are dealing with it now, instead of just keeping it bottled up and suffering.
Working through it now like you are will save you a lot of grief in the future. Good luck!
Snar
Posted by inthegloaming on February 25, 2004, at 2:43:14
In reply to Re: Fluoxetine and Alcohol--please help » inthegloaming, posted by snarley on February 25, 2004, at 0:46:43
> Sounds like you tried your best to voice your displeasure about it despite your dazed state. AND since the friend knew your stance on sexual stuff before that point, that makes it even worse. What they did to you was definitely wrong anyway, and even more so after what you just clarified, and at the very least you should not call them your "friend" anymore. Someone who does that once (and knew you were against it like they did) will probably try it again if they think they can get away with it in the future.
>dammit, it's so hard! my best friend says that nobody's at fault, as we were both drunk/out of it and i didn't say 'no.' but i feel like... i feel like if she knew what the deal was going into it... oh god, i don't know. it's so hard.
> In the meantime, you might try getting some counseling/therapy
i actually have a therapist. we do phone sessions, as i'm at school now. she's great, she really is. i'm going to talk to her about this.
<I was raped in high school and I didnt get help until a few years after the fact. My experience should have warranted me pressing criminal charges, but i was too overwhelmed by it all to do anything at the time.
this wasn't rape; it didn't get that far, thank god. i keep wanting to excuse her, cos she didn't mean it to be malicious or anything, but... i mean, SHOULD i just drop it?! i can't seem to make a descision either way.
>Talk it out with people and if it will make you feel better to take some sort of action, go for it. It's good to see that you are dealing with it now, instead of just keeping it bottled up and suffering.
>talking has just made me confused. so many people say so many different things and then i doubt my stance and blah blah blah... man. i don't know. i keep saying that. dammit. it's late. i'm frustrated. with her, with myself, with my friends...
siiigh.
thanks for your help, though! your words mean a lot.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 25, 2004, at 23:01:59
In reply to Re: Fluoxetine and Alcohol--please help, posted by inthegloaming on February 25, 2004, at 2:43:14
> talking has just made me confused. so many people say so many different things...
I'm sorry about what you went through, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups not about fluoxetine and alcohol to Psycho-Social-Babble. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040219/msgs/317757.html
Thanks,
Bob
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