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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 763 to 787 of 948. Go back in thread:
Posted by katia on October 22, 2004, at 15:09:35
In reply to Re: Hypomania for a day » katia, posted by Barbaracat on October 19, 2004, at 20:22:03
Hi,
just an FYI, my sodium levels seemed fine, which is good. I just got a phone call from my pdoc. He said my neutrophils (sp?) were slightly low and my lymphocytes slightly high. anyone know of this? (white blood stuff)He advised to cut back on the paxil too if I'm cycling.
So that's what I'll do and see what happens.
Katia
p.s. Barb - I just found out someone has written a book with me being one of the main characters in it. I knew her 8 years ago when I lived in Russia (with the Peace Corps). she basically and apparently slandered the heck out of me. Awful stuff coming up for me. It was a time I was in an awful depression and (in retrospect) cycling pretty badly and self-medicating with drinking. Isn't this awful? to be labeled and tagged in writing about a one-sided perspective coming from a self-righteous old biddy who likes to blame and point the finger in one of my most awful times of my life? Incredible....we can have a chat about it over thanksgiving!
Posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 15:48:34
In reply to Re: Hypomania and ovulation anyone? Experiences with? » katia, posted by robz on October 20, 2004, at 13:16:42
Geez...anyone else feeling the clutches of depression since the days are shorter and since the election?
I'm really feeling it coming on and it's scary. I'm still on Paxil at 12.5mg and Trileptal at 450mg and Seroquel at 12.5mg, but this feeling is so familiar and I haven't felt it since last year and the years before. But the difference is I'm on meds and I STILL feel it. I just want to curl up in bed all day and am trying my hardest to not feed the depression. I feel it physically - reduced appetite, feeling like I want to throw up/tightness in throat and cry.
Oh boy...this sucks. WB doesn't work for me, effexor, zoloft, celexa, nor serzone and it looks as though maybe paxil isn't making a dent. Wouldn't it be nice to be a straightforward depressive who takes Prozac and feels like a new person....How to hide from the grips of darkness when I've tried so much already??
Katia
Posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 18:05:30
In reply to Needing support, posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 15:48:34
You are not alone. Many people experience depression or a worsening of their depression when the days start to get shorter and they are exposed to less sunlight. I am sure you are aware that it is a true disorder and is referred to as Seasonal Affective Disorder. You might want to invest in a sun simulator or a light box. It is a device that produces light equal in intesity to natural sunlight. It is supposed to be effective for people with SAD. Although I like this time of year, I use one, and it seems to make a difference in my energy and sleep patterns. I have seen some posts in the past while about light therapy and sun simulators. It might be worth your while to do a search and see what others have said about it.
How long have you been on Paxil? Perhaps you need to talk to your doctor about increasing your dose during the darker months.
Hang in there, and try to take advantage of whatever sun and bright days there are. I wish you all the best, and hope you find relief soon.
Tamara
> Geez...anyone else feeling the clutches of depression since the days are shorter and since the election?
>
> I'm really feeling it coming on and it's scary. I'm still on Paxil at 12.5mg and Trileptal at 450mg and Seroquel at 12.5mg, but this feeling is so familiar and I haven't felt it since last year and the years before. But the difference is I'm on meds and I STILL feel it. I just want to curl up in bed all day and am trying my hardest to not feed the depression. I feel it physically - reduced appetite, feeling like I want to throw up/tightness in throat and cry.
> Oh boy...this sucks. WB doesn't work for me, effexor, zoloft, celexa, nor serzone and it looks as though maybe paxil isn't making a dent. Wouldn't it be nice to be a straightforward depressive who takes Prozac and feels like a new person....How to hide from the grips of darkness when I've tried so much already??
> Katia
Posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 18:11:07
In reply to Re: Needing support » katia, posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 18:05:30
Hi,
I could buy a box. I'll look into it after I crawl back into bed for awhile and regain strength. I'm bipolar; so I haven't done well on ADs and mood stabilizers don't really get the depression. maybe a sunbox would help.I'm so cloudy today, I can't remember if I took my Paxil and so I just took it again and remembered I had. I'm actually worried the Paxil is making me crazy. I missed a dose a week ago and went through withdrawals; maybe that's contributing to my darkness. god it's a scary place to be in - it's totally gripping. I'm going to give it another day before I call my pdoc. This is powerful stuff that never seems to be affected by meds.
anyone ever hear of shamanic healing for mental illness?
Katia
> You are not alone. Many people experience depression or a worsening of their depression when the days start to get shorter and they are exposed to less sunlight. I am sure you are aware that it is a true disorder and is referred to as Seasonal Affective Disorder. You might want to invest in a sun simulator or a light box. It is a device that produces light equal in intesity to natural sunlight. It is supposed to be effective for people with SAD. Although I like this time of year, I use one, and it seems to make a difference in my energy and sleep patterns. I have seen some posts in the past while about light therapy and sun simulators. It might be worth your while to do a search and see what others have said about it.
>
> How long have you been on Paxil? Perhaps you need to talk to your doctor about increasing your dose during the darker months.
>
> Hang in there, and try to take advantage of whatever sun and bright days there are. I wish you all the best, and hope you find relief soon.
>
> Tamara
>
>
> > Geez...anyone else feeling the clutches of depression since the days are shorter and since the election?
> >
> > I'm really feeling it coming on and it's scary. I'm still on Paxil at 12.5mg and Trileptal at 450mg and Seroquel at 12.5mg, but this feeling is so familiar and I haven't felt it since last year and the years before. But the difference is I'm on meds and I STILL feel it. I just want to curl up in bed all day and am trying my hardest to not feed the depression. I feel it physically - reduced appetite, feeling like I want to throw up/tightness in throat and cry.
> > Oh boy...this sucks. WB doesn't work for me, effexor, zoloft, celexa, nor serzone and it looks as though maybe paxil isn't making a dent. Wouldn't it be nice to be a straightforward depressive who takes Prozac and feels like a new person....How to hide from the grips of darkness when I've tried so much already??
> > Katia
>
>
Posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 18:12:45
In reply to Re: Needing support » katia, posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 18:05:30
Anyone ever hear or experience shamanic healing? I feel like I've got evil spirits around me - bad energy that is feeding off my energy making me drained. I feel cursed.
Posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 20:37:07
In reply to Re: Needing support » jujube, posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 18:11:07
Katia,
I'm sorry that you are suffering. I am not
bi-polar, so I can only imagine what you are going through in terms of your depression, and my heart goes out to you. I, too, have experienced that feeling of darkness, and agree that it is very, very scary. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I was given an injection of Depo Provera. Everything in my life just went black, and I was on Effexor at the time because I was moderately depressed and anxious. So, I can relate to being on an AD and not having it work effectively when you fall into the pit. Although the Depo shot is wearing off, the depression won't lift. So, my pdoc has switched me to a TCA AD. I am a little nervous about taking it, but I can't go on like this much longer.I really think you should either call or get an appointment with your pdoc as soon as possible. You shouldn't have to suffer like this, and may require a med change or an dosage increase of your current med.
In the meantime, try to be strong (I know, easier said than done).
Take care.Tamara
> Hi,
> I could buy a box. I'll look into it after I crawl back into bed for awhile and regain strength. I'm bipolar; so I haven't done well on ADs and mood stabilizers don't really get the depression. maybe a sunbox would help.
>
> I'm so cloudy today, I can't remember if I took my Paxil and so I just took it again and remembered I had. I'm actually worried the Paxil is making me crazy. I missed a dose a week ago and went through withdrawals; maybe that's contributing to my darkness. god it's a scary place to be in - it's totally gripping. I'm going to give it another day before I call my pdoc. This is powerful stuff that never seems to be affected by meds.
>
> anyone ever hear of shamanic healing for mental illness?
> Katia
> > You are not alone. Many people experience depression or a worsening of their depression when the days start to get shorter and they are exposed to less sunlight. I am sure you are aware that it is a true disorder and is referred to as Seasonal Affective Disorder. You might want to invest in a sun simulator or a light box. It is a device that produces light equal in intesity to natural sunlight. It is supposed to be effective for people with SAD. Although I like this time of year, I use one, and it seems to make a difference in my energy and sleep patterns. I have seen some posts in the past while about light therapy and sun simulators. It might be worth your while to do a search and see what others have said about it.
> >
> > How long have you been on Paxil? Perhaps you need to talk to your doctor about increasing your dose during the darker months.
> >
> > Hang in there, and try to take advantage of whatever sun and bright days there are. I wish you all the best, and hope you find relief soon.
> >
> > Tamara
> >
> >
> > > Geez...anyone else feeling the clutches of depression since the days are shorter and since the election?
> > >
> > > I'm really feeling it coming on and it's scary. I'm still on Paxil at 12.5mg and Trileptal at 450mg and Seroquel at 12.5mg, but this feeling is so familiar and I haven't felt it since last year and the years before. But the difference is I'm on meds and I STILL feel it. I just want to curl up in bed all day and am trying my hardest to not feed the depression. I feel it physically - reduced appetite, feeling like I want to throw up/tightness in throat and cry.
> > > Oh boy...this sucks. WB doesn't work for me, effexor, zoloft, celexa, nor serzone and it looks as though maybe paxil isn't making a dent. Wouldn't it be nice to be a straightforward depressive who takes Prozac and feels like a new person....How to hide from the grips of darkness when I've tried so much already??
> > > Katia
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 21:05:26
In reply to Re: Needing support » katia, posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 20:37:07
> Katia,
>
> I'm sorry that you are suffering. I am not
> bi-polar, so I can only imagine what you are going through in terms of your depression, and my heart goes out to you. I, too, have experienced that feeling of darkness, and agree that it is very, very scary. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I was given an injection of Depo Provera. Everything in my life just went black, and I was on Effexor at the time because I was moderately depressed and anxious. So, I can relate to being on an AD and not having it work effectively when you fall into the pit. Although the Depo shot is wearing off, the depression won't lift. So, my pdoc has switched me to a TCA AD. I am a little nervous about taking it, but I can't go on like this much longer.
>
> I really think you should either call or get an appointment with your pdoc as soon as possible. You shouldn't have to suffer like this, and may require a med change or an dosage increase of your current med.
>
> In the meantime, try to be strong (I know, easier said than done).
>
>
> Take care.
>
> Tamara
>Hi Tamara,
just out of curiosity, what does your depression feel and look like? I'm trying to gauge how bad mine is getting. Does yours shift for you if you have to work and the darkness just waits on the sidelines until you're alone again? I feel like my mood is spilling over and I look tired. People keep saying so. I have a day off and tried to be optimistic about the day and what i would get done, but nothing happened. I was too tired and dead feeling; like I just wanted to crawl back to bed.
I'm hoping that this is just today.
katia
Posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 21:07:54
In reply to Re: Needing support » katia, posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 20:37:07
p.s.
How long have you been on effexor? I was on it two years ago before I was dxed as bipolar. it worked well for me at first and I even went a bit hypo, but then I crashed on about this time and then I had horrible withdrawal symptoms without even stopping the dose at all; all those things you hear about happened to me while I was on effexor. Even being, I would consider going on it again if it would lift this. It may be different since I'm on Trileptal as well.
Posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 21:25:55
In reply to Re: Needing support » jujube, posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 21:05:26
> > Katia,
> >
> > I'm sorry that you are suffering. I am not
> > bi-polar, so I can only imagine what you are going through in terms of your depression, and my heart goes out to you. I, too, have experienced that feeling of darkness, and agree that it is very, very scary. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I was given an injection of Depo Provera. Everything in my life just went black, and I was on Effexor at the time because I was moderately depressed and anxious. So, I can relate to being on an AD and not having it work effectively when you fall into the pit. Although the Depo shot is wearing off, the depression won't lift. So, my pdoc has switched me to a TCA AD. I am a little nervous about taking it, but I can't go on like this much longer.
> >
> > I really think you should either call or get an appointment with your pdoc as soon as possible. You shouldn't have to suffer like this, and may require a med change or an dosage increase of your current med.
> >
> > In the meantime, try to be strong (I know, easier said than done).
> >
> >
> > Take care.
> >
> > Tamara
> >
>
> Hi Tamara,
> just out of curiosity, what does your depression feel and look like? I'm trying to gauge how bad mine is getting. Does yours shift for you if you have to work and the darkness just waits on the sidelines until you're alone again? I feel like my mood is spilling over and I look tired. People keep saying so. I have a day off and tried to be optimistic about the day and what i would get done, but nothing happened. I was too tired and dead feeling; like I just wanted to crawl back to bed.
> I'm hoping that this is just today.
> katiaKatia,
I am in a different situation since I have been taking some leave from work. I had a huge amount of sick leave in the bank, and have had to use it because I just wasn't functioning well. So, I guess I am fortunate in that regard. How did it feel? It's so hard to explain because I have never experienced anything like it before. I guess it was like being being buried alive. There is no light, only darkness. You are aware of things going on around you, but don't have the mental or physical strength to do anything. I cried every day for 1.5 months, and couldn't figure out why I was crying. But, I kept getting up every morning, getting dressed, taking my dog for a walk, trying to eat a little something. I tried to talk to a friend or family member every day, even when I didn't care if I saw or heard from anyone. And, surprisingly, although I am still down and not experiencing the joy and pleasure I normally experience in my life, the days are not as dark as they were. The light is starting to shine again, and the fear and worry are starting to subside. I know I will feel better soon, especially once I start the new med. You, too, have to hang on the hope and belief that you will feel better soon, and that the darkness will lift. Because, as any of us who have been through this know, the darkness does lift. I know it's hard, but try not to give into the darkness. And, don't worry about what others think, unless their concern is genuine and heartfelt. Contrary to popular belief, we don't have to be "up" all the time. If your pdoc isn't already aware how badly the shorter days affect your mood, you really need to bring it to his/her attention. It may require a dosage change this time of year.
Take good care of your self Katia. My thoughts are with you.
Tamara
Posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 21:37:21
In reply to Re: Needing support » jujube, posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 21:07:54
I was only on Effexor for 6 months, and it wasn't a good fit for me. Although many people have a good response to it, it made me feel really apprehensive and apathetic. But that was just me, and we are all different in how we respond to medication. I am now on Celexa, and will be adding Anafranil (a TCA) soon. I am not knowledgeable enough about ADs to make a suggestion about a new AD for you. What I would suggest, however, is that you start a new thread and ask others with bi-polar which AD has been the most effective for them. You will probably get a lot of useful suggestions which you can raise with your pdoc.
Good luck to you.
Tamara
> p.s.
> How long have you been on effexor? I was on it two years ago before I was dxed as bipolar. it worked well for me at first and I even went a bit hypo, but then I crashed on about this time and then I had horrible withdrawal symptoms without even stopping the dose at all; all those things you hear about happened to me while I was on effexor. Even being, I would consider going on it again if it would lift this. It may be different since I'm on Trileptal as well.
Posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 21:52:36
In reply to Re: Needing support » katia, posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 21:25:55
Hi,
Was this your first depression?Geez..now that i have awareness about myself; I realize I do become depressed in winter. It's amazing how this shift has happened suddenly for me. I will call the pdoc tomorrow and set up an appt. meds just don't seem to work for me though. maybe a sunbox would help. this is awful. I forgot how depression really felt.
Katia
Posted by jujube on November 10, 2004, at 8:07:39
In reply to Re: Needing support » jujube, posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 21:52:36
Katia,
This is the second depression I have experienced. The first was 8 1/2 years ago, at a time when I was struggling with overcoming alcoholism. I am happy to say that I have been sober for now been sober for over 8 years.
What you are going through is awful. But at least you know now that what you are experiencing is an actual disorder, recognized by the medical community. It doesn't make it easier to deal with while you are going through it, but it may give you a some piece of mind knowing that you can get help for it.
I'm glad that you are making an appointment with your pdoc. I would also encourage you to start a new thread perhaps about Seasonal Affective Disorder to try and find out how others have dealt with it or are dealing with it. As I said before, you may need an AD dosage increase for this time of year, or a change in AD.
Hang in there, and take care of yourself.
Tamara
> Hi,
> Was this your first depression?
>
> Geez..now that i have awareness about myself; I realize I do become depressed in winter. It's amazing how this shift has happened suddenly for me. I will call the pdoc tomorrow and set up an appt. meds just don't seem to work for me though. maybe a sunbox would help. this is awful. I forgot how depression really felt.
> Katia
Posted by iris2 on November 10, 2004, at 12:29:49
In reply to Re: Needing support » jujube, posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 18:11:07
Thought you might be interested. I heard of light bulbs that are full spectrum instead of a light box. It would be easier to use as you would not have to take time out to sit in front of the box but just use your everyday lamps in the house.
irene
Posted by katia on November 10, 2004, at 12:49:49
In reply to Re: Needing support » katia, posted by iris2 on November 10, 2004, at 12:29:49
Do you know where to buy these light bulbs?
Posted by Barbaracat on November 10, 2004, at 13:10:19
In reply to Re: Needing support/shamanic healing?, posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 18:12:45
> Anyone ever hear or experience shamanic healing? I feel like I've got evil spirits around me - bad energy that is feeding off my energy making me drained. I feel cursed.
Hi Katia,
Me too, but it's not our personal demons - it's collective and it's about time we start recognizing the sick society for what it is. I am so discouraged - a let down after allowing myself to hope during this election. I realy did know better and did not expect it to be any different or even make any difference, but still, I let myself envision a country that wants healing as badly as I do. And it's just not gonna be so. Chase after the perfect med combo if it engages your mind, but realize that only temporary relief lies that way. The chase effectively clouds our awareness of what's really going on, don't you think?As soon as I read my emails I'm heading off to bed. Maybe I won't wake up any better but at least I'll forget about feeling so crummy for a little while.
It's not just you with your personal evil spirits, although they do delight in fear. It's this whole world and especially this country. I am so disgusted with this place. Such stupidity, such shallowness and greed. Can't stand a culture that admires a twit like Brittney Spears. Sorry to offend anyone, but the chick is a twit. We're supposed to love our enemies, turn the other cheek. But I like The Buddha's concept of 'idiot compassion'. In other words, use discernment to choose the battles you can actually make a dent in instead of wasting time pretending you don't really hate the Orcs who are destroying your Shire and the natural order.
I'm seriously looking for another place to live. I'm filled with disgust and a sense of futility and impotence about doing anything that will make any difference except exhaust me. It's so expensive to live here, jobs are vanishing, healthcare sucks, privacy invaded, we're isolated from each other and foisted upon us the dogma of their very weird and insane god (oh pleeeeze, let them all get Raptured and get the hell out of our faces). We get another four years (at least) of dubbya dum-dum's neo-con agenda - and he's just a puppet tip of the iceberg.
Are we supposed to stay and fight some kind of good fight of which we will not win? Are we supposed to nobly die trying? Or are we supposed to head for a new life where there are still problems, but at least different problems for a change, maybe brighter colors, warmer weather, different music, nicer people? I feel no sense of allegiance to this country any longer, I am 'existentially depressed' and so worn out by it that I haven't yet figured out if I'm personally depressed as well.
Does anyone else see it this way? We can't expect pills to make this feeling go away, it shouldn't go away, because this feeling is a healthy response to an unhealthy existence. Maybe ADs can stop the skid into getting any worse than it actualy is, maybe we can alleviate paralysis, but it actually is this bad. Just look at the environmental reforms undone in the last 4 years. This alone should make any concerned person very depressed. We're not only feeling our own personal despair, but the anguish of a living planet. There is not enough Prozac in the universe to take away that pain. It will not get any better, none of it, there are too many unconscious people, a critical mass of idiots. The fact that our parasitic species will probably go the way of the dinosaurs doesn't fill me with alarm anymore. There's no more sense of desperation to survive, only a black humor and mild curiosity at how we're going to get out of it. Think the Middle East is bad now? Read the Book of Revelation and understand why this Bible-thumping administration and their ilk have no intention whatsoever of promoting peace and are in fact propagating discord. It's 'God's Will'. Fundamentalism is the evil spirit and I don't know of any shaman equipped to handle such a mindless force. Truly, I no longer care if I, our children, or the majority of us lives or dies in this sick society. I'll continue to do the best I can but have adopted an attitutde of no expectations. I don't presume that anyone else will agree with me or join in my efforts. The only difference is that I'm no longer disillusioned.
We're in the Kali Yuga and it's supposed to be like this. It still sucks. But I'm no longer alarmed at my hopelessness, not worried that it's some personal demon that's causing my despair, no longer trying to make it all better, no pill combo that's going to do the work that I doubt I want to do any more. Giving up is freeing and I'm at peace within this groundless turmoil. I won't actively 'do anything' which is just melodramatic and hurtful to those left whome I care about. I wouldn't want them to do that do me. But I won't be surprised at anything that happens from here on out and it's liberating. So be it. - Barbara
Posted by katia on November 10, 2004, at 13:33:22
In reply to Re: Needing support/shamanic healing? » katia, posted by Barbaracat on November 10, 2004, at 13:10:19
Hi Barbara,
You said it sister. I think a lot of us sensitive folks are down and out since the election. I am, you are, another friend of mine is holing up alone; not returning calls. It happened alongside the hour turning back too. And Barb, I do think you made a difference. It's just a long process of evolution. Things don't change instantly. I think we are at the cusp of a consciousness change and whenever there is movement away from the status quo, there is intense resistance. I think that is one of the reasons why HALF the country voted for that administration. I'm looking at this as part of evolution.there are so many influences. I am trying so hard not to go into that dark place; whatever it is that is causing it! It's too scary. I've got to work, bills to pay,, etc. It gets so scary when I feel I can crumble like this, because who will take care of everything? I'm a single homeowner with no boyfriend and family far away.
I accidentally took a double dose of paxil yesterday and today is a bit better. I wonder if that did it. I may double my dose from now on. I'm also trying to not feed it. So I'm waking up and turning on lights, playing music instead of total silence and darkness and coldness all the time and strecthing and forcing myself to take walks. It's like I have to ride it out from November to March is the dark corner I have to round every year.
take good care Barb--if we feel like it maybe we can see each other over Thanksgiving.
Thinking of you-
Katia
Posted by fluffy on November 10, 2004, at 15:37:24
In reply to Re: Needing support/shamanic healing? » Barbaracat, posted by katia on November 10, 2004, at 13:33:22
Hi Katia--longer message to follow if this works. I wrote a really long one that got deleted. drat.
Posted by katia on November 10, 2004, at 15:52:54
In reply to Re: Needing support/shamanic healing?, posted by fluffy on November 10, 2004, at 15:37:24
> Hi Katia--longer message to follow if this works. I wrote a really long one that got deleted. drat.
Hi Fluffy,
sorry about your message getting deleted. Just to say, yes this one worked.
Posted by fluffy on November 10, 2004, at 15:55:08
In reply to Re: Needing support/shamanic healing? » Barbaracat, posted by katia on November 10, 2004, at 13:33:22
Okay--we're in business. Hi Katia, Barb-cat, and others.
Oh Katia--how i can identify with how you are feeling. It is so hard when you feel like you can't deal with the everyday stuff, and it feels like it will never, ever end. I thought that a couple of months ago the fall/winter depression would gobble me up whole, and I would never get better. The thing that was hardest for me was losing my appetite. How I know that tight, nauseous feeling in your stomach. food just sits there like a rock and doesn't have a taste. eating is so primal and so simple, so it is really disorienting for me when I don't want to. My therapist really helped me out with it. He told me, "so what if you don't have an appetite? don't beat yourself up for it." So when I would eat and feel disgusted, I'd just tell myself, "so what" and then give myself a big pat on the back after having completed the "task" of eating. when I felt like I wanted to die, I'd just tell myself, "i feel like hell, but this is temporary, and I'll feel better soon." and do you know what, I did.
Make the proper med adjustments with your pdoc, of course. but the behavioural stuff is tres important during this time, too.
Try and give yourself a mental gold star for completing your everyday things if you can. depression can make all of that stuff seem downright oppressive. out of bed, gold star. taking a walk, gold star, etc. I can't say that it helped me feel fabulous when I did this, but at least I got through it. And i really noticed a difference from my last depressions by doing this. It gave me just a tad more strength. Try not to spin your wheels too much with extraneous effort to heal yourself. Use your strength to get through the day. You will feel better soon--I know it. Also--try not to sentence yourself until March. You may feel like shit now, but it doesn't mean that it will automatically last until then--you could be pleasantly surprised. One day at a time.
Take lots and lots of care,
Katy
Posted by katia on November 10, 2004, at 16:27:54
In reply to Re: Needing support/shamanic healing?, posted by fluffy on November 10, 2004, at 15:55:08
> Okay--we're in business. Hi Katia, Barb-cat, and others.
>
> Oh Katia--how i can identify with how you are feeling. It is so hard when you feel like you can't deal with the everyday stuff, and it feels like it will never, ever end. I thought that a couple of months ago the fall/winter depression would gobble me up whole, and I would never get better.**How long did it last?
It's this changeover in short days that triggers me. Maybe once I adjust to that. I am feeling slightly better today - wierd. So then I think I'm so sick to death of being at the mercy of these moods which are at the mercy of any change in the environment.Interesting thing- I called my pdoc and set up an appt. I also asked for a recommendation for a sunbox/light box. I looked it up on line (Apollo Brite Lite IV) and one thing it says is that it provides full spectrum light and eliminates so much yellow. Very interesting as that is one thing that happens to me during this time. It feels like my eyes fill up with a sallow looking color - everything is sallow. He says these really help people - soooo maybe I'll try yet another thing.
Which meds are you on now? Depakote? any AD?
katia
> Make the proper med adjustments with your pdoc, of course. but the behavioural stuff is tres important during this time, too.
>
> Try and give yourself a mental gold star for completing your everyday things if you can. depression can make all of that stuff seem downright oppressive. out of bed, gold star. taking a walk, gold star, etc. I can't say that it helped me feel fabulous when I did this, but at least I got through it. And i really noticed a difference from my last depressions by doing this. It gave me just a tad more strength. Try not to spin your wheels too much with extraneous effort to heal yourself. Use your strength to get through the day. You will feel better soon--I know it. Also--try not to sentence yourself until March. You may feel like shit now, but it doesn't mean that it will automatically last until then--you could be pleasantly surprised. One day at a time.
>
> Take lots and lots of care,
> Katy
Posted by jujube on November 10, 2004, at 17:30:30
In reply to Light Boxes for winter depression, posted by katia on November 10, 2004, at 16:27:54
Katia,
Just wanted to send you a couple of web pages I found on SAD and light therapy.
www.psychiatrictimes.com/po21063.html
www.psychdirect.com/depression/d-treatmentguidelinesSAD.htm
www.prweb.com/releases/2003/12/prweb92323.htm
Posted by katia on November 10, 2004, at 18:49:23
In reply to Re: Light Boxes for winter depression » katia, posted by jujube on November 10, 2004, at 17:30:30
Thanks; I'll look into it. I've actually ordered that apollo brite lite today. Hopefully it'll get here soon.
katia
Posted by Barbaracat on November 11, 2004, at 16:09:23
In reply to Re: Needing support/shamanic healing? » Barbaracat, posted by katia on November 10, 2004, at 13:33:22
Hi Katia,
Yeah, this election really brought the Orcs out of hiding, didn't it? At least the lines are drawn and I know who I definitely don't want to invite over to my house for dinner. I figure it is a time of evolution, either where we humans transcend this crap, or else get off the playing field to allow for another test case for higher consciousness. I sure don't understand it but what's the alternative besides putting one foot in front of the other? And pulling the covers up on those days when we can't? But like you said, you can't let the cover days go on too long because bills pile up and things get messy.Katia, if a double-dose of Paxil may have helped, then here's a suggestion that's worth a try. We know about bipolars and SSRIs and many other problems associated with them, so bulking up on SSRIs could be trouble. My husband and I and another couple have been taking this research grade St. John's Wort and all of us are being helped by it. Oh sure, I still go into dark places but sheeeit, there are plenty of real dark places to go in to, and not just in my brain. Since taking this SJW I don't stay there as long. I was reading my journal noting how I was before and since taking it and the changes are very evident. I've noticed great positive changes in my husband's mood and motivation and so has he. Just yesterday he was bugging me to please replenish our supply because it's getting low and he doesn't want to run out. For the first time in years he's not feeling in the 'grey zone' - and no problems with 'the wood pile' as he puts it (and I appreciate).
I was talking to our friends last week and they're at the 4 week mark and feel that it's kicking in very nicely. 'Subtle but sweet', as my friend put it.
I don't have the bipolar/SSRI problems with it, no sexual side effects and no buzzyness or somatic stuff like with other ADs. In fact, nothing except a lighter and calmer mood. The brand to get is HBC Protocols - www.hbcprotocols.com. Plus it's cheap, $29.95 for 280 tablets.
It takes a few weeks but maybe you're already primed enough with the Paxil. I also take L-taurine 2,000 mg a day for the extra mood stabilizing. I'm trying another change with the lithium which I'll continue to report on. I ran out of my prescription lithium carbonate and living out in the boonies, don't get to a pharmacy often. I have some left over lithium orotate I was taking at their recommended dosage, 120mg a day, which did squat for me. So I tripled the dose, matching what I was on with the lithium carbonate and so far I like it alot. Less tired, and I've lost 5 pounds since starting with no hint of hypomania at all. In fact, I'm sleeping better since starting it. No one seems to know how it converts dose for dose with the other lithiums so I may need to adjust the dose, but time will tell. If I start seeming like I'm wigging out a bit, I'm sure you'll notice and will let me know, OK? But so far, thumbs up (1 week).
The best brand is Advanced Research Lithium Orotate, which I believe you can get at www.iherb.com. Again, real cheap ($10 for 200 tablets). Hope to see you Thanksgiving. I'm going to set up a yahoo email so we can trade info. Luv, Barbara
Posted by katia on November 11, 2004, at 16:40:20
In reply to Maybe some help? » katia, posted by Barbaracat on November 11, 2004, at 16:09:23
Hi Barb (and Katy, others)
Glad to hear you're doing better today. Did you hear that Eliz. Edwards was dxed with breast cancer the same day they conceded? Bizarre timing...I'm in a different place today; I'm still slow, decreased appetite, not wanting to see people, teary, but I'm in an accepting place about this shift in mood. Like I just accept I need to go inward and quiet for awhile instead of fight it. I also have a bad migraine starting yesterday (starting at the lower back of the head shooting through my eyeballs). I've never gotten these until this year,, i wonder if it's med related/Trileptal or Paxil? I also have mild/mod whiplash from being rearended a couple weeks ago. I think this adds to the depression.
I may try the SJW, but I get my meds free from samples and don't know how much I can afford. I also know that it works on serotonin, so couldn't that be dangerous for BPs too? it's like an herbal AD? I may try it though; I'd rather go natural if it's effective. I bought a sun/light box yesterday and am waiting for its arrival. I think this will help me since reading up on it.
I thought about you last night. I went to Cathy's workshop "Life Cycles" about what happens when animals die. Someone had a cat who hung on even after the injection and she always wondered if she chose too early for him to go. But Cathy explained that it was time, but still some animals have a strong will to live even when it's time; I thought of Merlin. Rock had requested through CAthy to me that I bring the candle I light on his alter (it's in a nice sculpture/bowl with rose petals and a candle). He wanted me to bring it and light the candle to create light and healing for beings. He was excited about the workshop and was right there the whole time.
Interesting and heartwarming/wrenching stuff and confusing to me as well.
BTW, I received an email from someone directly from this board (sent via PB). I think there is a way that we can send a private message and then exchange email addresses. I'll look into it.
katia
Posted by katia on November 11, 2004, at 16:53:15
In reply to Maybe some help? » katia, posted by Barbaracat on November 11, 2004, at 16:09:23
Hi Barb,
You need to go to your settings and turn "on" your babblemail allowance. If you don't want to do that, send me one. http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/babblemail.pl and then just type in Katia for recipient.
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