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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 8:34:06
And first of all, I love him to pieces and am so glad genes and fate worked together to send us a son who is a really good fit for us temperamentally.
But I also was struck by something I've noticed before with him. Even in a group when he's roughhousing (for him) and being playful, there is a qality of separateness about my son. Like an island in a small lake of stillness amongst the chaos. And I can see what my son's play therapist means when she says she has to "interpret" kids for my son, because he just doesn't understand typical kid behavior.
Even the other boys seemed to recognize it, and were appealing to my son when someone was misbehaving as if he were a teacher. Not in total earnest, but not in a teasing way either. As if... I dunno. His was a sensible substitute of an adult point of view?
My son tends to pick the best behaved boys as companions. A lot of them are only children like himself. But I guess all that Montessori paid off. My son seems to recognize the reason for rules, and not see them as arbitrary at all. He is very self disciplined.
I don't know why I'm saying this, other than that it was just so very obvious when he was among his peers.
(And a small brag. He can now beat me in Wheel of Fortune type fill in the blank games. Sigh.)
Posted by Daisym on May 22, 2005, at 16:22:36
In reply to Saw my son amongst a group of boys, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 8:34:06
I think I know what you mean. We refer to my youngest as an "old soul" -- he feels things deeply and wonders about those who are cruel. We think he is going to get eaten alive in real world of high school. he tells me already he'd like to be a therapist or school counselor because "nobody knows how hard it is really."
He has tons of friends, all very different. But he is generally the peace maker and rarely will he battle for "his way" --except with his brothers, of course. But he is definately one of the pack, not a leader and not an adult. But not afraid to step away either.
My middle kid has a huge need for the rules to be applied fairly. He has what we fondly refer to as a "heightened sense of right and wrong" and he will loudly voice his displeasure at any percieved imbalance in the world. He isn't afraid to break rules, he just thinks that "everyone" should be either punished or not. Meaning if anyone got away with anything, he should too. (grin - nope!) He is much harder to parent and he had limited friendships in middle school because he is so intense.
Isn't it hard to stand back and notice what your child is or isn't doing? Especially socially. Kids can be so mean to each other, I'm glad the other boys didn't tease him about his perceived authority. He'll make a great judge someday. :)
Posted by Dinah on June 6, 2005, at 8:11:44
In reply to Re: Saw my son amongst a group of boys » Dinah, posted by Daisym on May 22, 2005, at 16:22:36
Sounds like my son is a mix of your two. :)
I'm so proud of him. He's starting to be more assertive about what he wants at home. I think that's great.
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