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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by WorryGirl on May 10, 2007, at 7:07:19
I have to add that my higher weight (went from 120 in my 20s to 165-170 currently, at 40) bothers me for one major reason. It is because I am depending on others' approval of it. And the people who have surrounded me have all thought I looked better when I was slimmer. And while many don't come right out and say it (and some just passively-aggressively say "Oh, was that you? You're kidding?" when looking at an old photo from before they knew me). Now in all fairness many of these people don't even know about my ED. But others, even after they know about it, still seem to think that if I just work out and eat healthy I'll magically have this slender figure. I think it is too late for that. I think I can have a healthy, voluptuous figure, even if I eat healthy. But that doesn't seem to be good enough for so many people in my life (my husband says I look great, but he enjoys viewing slender actresses and pictures of slender women. In the past, he has always liked the slender ones - now he just doesn't say anything). It is my biological family that is the worst. They all think I simply eat too much, and that I should have a slim figure. They know about the eating disorder, and even they have made comments when looking at old pictures about how "skinny" I used to be. NOBODY tells me I look great now except my husband, thank God, because he knows how hard I battle my ED. Why can't my mother just accept me at the weight I am? I'm 40 years old for crying out loud. Why do I still have to look so d*** perfect? I just can't do it.
Posted by Racer on May 10, 2007, at 12:50:49
In reply to Let me explain..., posted by WorryGirl on May 10, 2007, at 7:07:19
Actually, it sounds as though you know nearly as much about Human Steamrollers as I do!
Your family doesn't sound so helpful. You know that, right? You're not alone -- and when you get to the secret clubhouse, we'll teach you the secret handshake. I won't tell you my stories about it, but I've got 'em -- from "I know you're anorexic, but you still look great" to the "you're anorexic, you need help -- can you tell me how to lose weight?" -- so you're really not alone there.
As for the rest of it, there's so much I could say, and I think none of it would make much difference. A good therapist -- I sound like a broken record -- would be the best thing I can suggest. Someone to help you address the whole "good girl/approval" issue, and help you accept yourself, and approve of yourself.
What I do know, though, is that someone with an eating disorder is all too likely to hear the phrase "you're fat!" in almost anything anyone says to them. "Wow! Great haircut!" sounds an awful lot like, "Poor thing, she's so fat" to me sometimes.
Also, weight control isn't as simple as math. There's no "just eat this, then do that" about it. It's only now that anyone is doing research on this stuff, so it's not surprising that the general public doesn't know. I know, though, and now I'm telling you: there are many factors involved in weight, and some of them are not within your control.
One thing you have a bit of control over, though, is your metabolism -- in that you know that if you starve yourself you'll slow it down to a snail's pace. A few months ago, the doctor treating me for infertility told me I needed to gain weight and eat more starches and carbohydrates if I was going to have any chance at getting pregnant. I doubled or tripled the amount of starch exchanges I was eating -- and LOST weight the first week. Weight is NOT simple.
My advice: certified eating disorders specialist, if you can find one, or any other good T; and a registered dietitian, to help you normalize your eating habits.
By the way, I was just talking to a bulimic friend about the weight gain while purging thing the other day. She'd read that one absorbs about 80% of calories contained in an average binge, I'd read that an average of 1200 calories were absorbed from an average binge. Neither of us know how they'd calculate that, and frankly I don't think I want to know. What's clear, though, is that you're not getting rid of nearly as much as you think you are, no matter what you see when you do it.
I hope there's something helpful in there.
Posted by WorryGirl on May 10, 2007, at 15:47:15
In reply to Let me explain the concept of 'Human Steamroller' » WorryGirl, posted by Racer on May 10, 2007, at 12:50:49
Thanks for the advice. It's good to hear this kind of stuff. I am going to see someone next week about medication, etc. Why not make things as easy as possible while I'm trying to get to a weight I'm comfortable with. And maybe this will keep me from binging so much in the latter part of the day.
BTW have you ever tried hoodia? Does it work? I took some once and it did nothing but I've heard if you take the good stuff it does. I am going to post on that board, as well.
Thanks again.
Posted by Poet on May 21, 2007, at 18:21:13
In reply to Re: Let me explain the concept of 'Human Steamroller' » Racer, posted by WorryGirl on May 10, 2007, at 15:47:15
Hi Worrygirl,
I tried hoodia and it did nothing for me. Last night I purged so hard that I have more than ut ugly usual amount of red dots all around my eyes. I look like h*ll and I am still gaining weight. I honestly think its an effect of aging and its one I really am going to have problems dealing with.
I'm sorry you're where I am, and I wish I had an answer, but I sure don't.
Poet
Posted by I Worry Girl on May 26, 2007, at 13:24:23
In reply to Re: Let me explain the concept of 'Human Steamroller' » WorryGirl, posted by Poet on May 21, 2007, at 18:21:13
Thanks for the hoodia tip. I have heard that from others before, but I keep hoping a "real" person will have had a positive experience, not just the infomercial-type spokespeople.
I know, it seems pretty hopeless. But I will continue to try. I've been lifting weights like crazy along with the cardio. My shape is changin a bit for the better but the fat refuses to budge.
At least when they do my autopsy one day they will see how much muscle I have UNDER the fat.
This is the end of the thread.
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