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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by KindGirl on March 3, 2004, at 14:52:48
I have a great t. as you may know if you have read about my exp with her. She holds me, gave me a blankie for Christmas, a pillow for my bday, I have pictures of her..etc.etc etc.....and yet I can't get away from feelings of wanting to quit. It is getting more and more painful each week. I cry all the time....all the time....I am on wellbutrin but I think it is wearing off.
I only see my t. one hour a week and the rest of my week is in pure hell. Feeling the abuse, the neglect...what it means to be me...and I want to quit. I don't like this anymore.
I talked to T on the phone today and told her I wouldn't be coming in this week. She said she was very sad and would miss me, and I agreed to come next week.
I just need a break from all of this pain. It sucks so bad. I feel like I am in hell. Anyone else ever feel this way? Anyone ever quit? Taken a break with same t? Suggestions?
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 3, 2004, at 15:44:23
In reply to Why shouldn't I quit therapy?, posted by KindGirl on March 3, 2004, at 14:52:48
Hi Kindgirl, youre so nice I hate to see you quit such a NICE T...maybe you can do what I did semi recently..ask her if you two can switch to some lighter talk for a while. Balance sounds like it's needed here and you need a break but thats not stopping your T ..it is stopping for NOW certain heavy subjects...I hope this helps it works for me anyhow
hugs
Posted by pegasus on March 3, 2004, at 16:11:25
In reply to Why shouldn't I quit therapy?, posted by KindGirl on March 3, 2004, at 14:52:48
I agree with Fallen. If it's getting so hard that you want to quit, and you can't handle it, maybe it's time for a break. But there's a lot of good therapy stuff you can do while breaking. Just chatting with your T can be helpful, in building the relationship. My old T used to say that it's like when you're on a bike ride (we both like to ride bikes in the mountains). You work really hard, but sometimes you get to coast for a while. And the coasting is necessary and fun!
Good luck! I'll be thinking about you. These crunch times in therapy really suck. But it's good work.
- p
Posted by crushedout on March 3, 2004, at 20:08:17
In reply to Why shouldn't I quit therapy?, posted by KindGirl on March 3, 2004, at 14:52:48
really? like, literally?
i know what you're feeling, i think. (except for the holding part. i'm envious. but maybe that makes the absence even worse?) i've never taken a break or quit but i've definitely thought about both. i don't think you should quit (unless your t is violating boundaries maybe?). it's hard to tell from what little info i have. maybe i've missed stuff in previous posts.
Posted by terrics on March 3, 2004, at 20:17:27
In reply to Why shouldn't I quit therapy?, posted by KindGirl on March 3, 2004, at 14:52:48
WOW, I know what you mean. I wonder how it will be for you when you skip a week? I hope you tell us. terrics
Posted by crushedout on March 3, 2004, at 20:25:59
In reply to Re: Why shouldn't I quit therapy? » KindGirl, posted by terrics on March 3, 2004, at 20:17:27
> WOW, I know what you mean. I wonder how it will be for you when you skip a week? I hope you tell us. terrics
me, too, i'd like to know how that goes.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 3, 2004, at 20:30:27
In reply to Re: Why shouldn't I quit therapy?, posted by crushedout on March 3, 2004, at 20:25:59
KindGirl I kind of wish you were not skipping a week cause I am now wondering if maybe you are pushing her away because she IS so nurturing and thats WHAT you need and didnt get but maybe cause you didnt get it..it makes you feel worse right now. Shes a GOOD person and can be trusted from what I have read of your posts
Posted by terrics on March 4, 2004, at 14:54:24
In reply to Why shouldn't I quit therapy?, posted by KindGirl on March 3, 2004, at 14:52:48
I was wondering if you might think that your T. has too much psychological control over you; That maybe the blanket and pillow and holding may be too much. I draw away when I feel controlled in any way, even if it is only my perception. Personally I think it is a good idea to skip a session just to see how you feel. Maybe you are just outgrowing this style and need to discuss it. Maybe you are getting better. terrics
Posted by KindGirl on March 4, 2004, at 18:28:02
In reply to Re: Why shouldn't I quit therapy?, posted by crushedout on March 3, 2004, at 20:25:59
Well I did it! I called up T. and left a pathetically hysterical message that I was done, don't want to come anymore, can't do this anymore, and that is honestly how I have felt lately. It is just so dang hard as you all know.
My T. called me yesterday (checked ahead of time w/me) and we talked for 30 minutes and she said I could quit if I wanted, that she didn't want me to quit and would miss me terribly if I quit, but I do have the decision if I wanted it. She also said that I am afraid of relationship...I am afraid that she is going to be just like my mom or my dad or all the other people who have hurt me deeply, but she said she is not and she won't. She said that no matter what I decided she would always care about me, carry me in her heart, and love me, but said that the thing I need most is to know that I have someone I can trust and who will be there for me no matter what and so that is why this is such important and difficult work.
I appreciate everything everyone shared...you guys are awesome.
Posted by KindGirl on March 4, 2004, at 18:32:47
In reply to I skipped therapy today...., posted by KindGirl on March 4, 2004, at 18:28:02
She convinced me to come on Tuesday next week. And she also said that it is good to take a short break from time to time if I want or if I need additional appts that is okay too...whatever I wanted.
I guess it is all so shocking to have someone say they care about you, do what they say they'll do, say that they mean it....I have been so burned all my life it is very difficult for me to let anyone in. That is why all of you are so awesome because in the midst of my loneliness and depression (I am staying in the house most of the time if I can squeeze my work into two or three days, plus I work out of my home). I work alone...the house is quiet when the kids are gone....and I can really go down a dark path of loneliness and despair and it has been a life raft having you all here with me. Thanks!
Posted by fallsfall on March 5, 2004, at 12:32:49
In reply to PS..., posted by KindGirl on March 4, 2004, at 18:32:47
I hope that you and your therapist can find additional perspective on your relationship as a result of your "break". I'm glad that you will be going in to see her next week - and hope that you will feel that it is appropriate to see her as long (and as frequently or infrequently) as you need to process the relationship and its (potential?) termination.
This is a challenging time. I wish you the best.
This is the end of the thread.
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