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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Crooked Heart on March 5, 2004, at 7:49:24
In reply to Does everyone here know each other?, posted by KindGirl on March 4, 2004, at 18:18:16
I often feel like I'm butting in a bit and as though everybody knows one another better than I do. But then I've often felt like that in other situations too, and it's turned out I was wrong, so I just try to ignore that feeling.
I sometimes wince at what I posted.
Anyway people are always very kind here. It would be safe for me to be braver.
Posted by toomuchpain on March 5, 2004, at 10:44:48
In reply to Re: Does everyone here know each other? » KindGirl, posted by Crooked Heart on March 5, 2004, at 7:49:24
well i have been here for a few months and i really dont feeel to know anyone ... everyone here is kind and so sweet .. but i do feel you have to be certian ppl to get respones ...
i have gotten some good respones and i can really tell that people take this borad so seroisly... adn sometimes i wonder who is really having problems and who aint maybe i am just a lil freaked out that ppl are so open .. but i came here and i do feel very comfortable here and i would like to get to know ppl alot better because they have so much insight on problem and help me in alot of ways
Posted by gardenergirl on March 5, 2004, at 11:22:55
In reply to Re: Does everyone here know each other?, posted by toomuchpain on March 5, 2004, at 10:44:48
I think some are more open than others. I know I censor sometimes, because I would not want to be discovered by someone at school, or God forbid, one of my clients. I also would not want to discover one of my clients here. I know it could happen and it would be survivable, but it certainly would be awkward.
I am not always able to respond to every post that interests me. I am actively working to not spend so much time here while I am working on my dissertation. So, if I don't respond to a thread or post, it may be that my time is up, so to speak, not that other posts or threads were more interesting or were from certain people.
I love all the newcomers. I was one myself just a couple of months ago.
Regarding email. I am not one to give mine out much or to use it much beyond here. Just in a couple of rare cases. Right now I am focusing on the boards.
Take care! Thanks for expressing your feelings about this. I think we all have felt it at one time or another.
gg
Posted by Speaker on March 5, 2004, at 12:25:36
In reply to Re: Does everyone here know each other?, posted by KindGirl on March 4, 2004, at 22:54:29
Wow, it would be really hurtful if someone found out and made you feel uncomfortable...I'm sorry that happened to you. I am in the midwest and don't know anyone. I don't have a e-mail account that I can put online but if you have a private one I will e-mail you. Remember that the person who found out who you are also goes to a T and has just as many problems as the rest of us!!! Take care and know you are safe here :).
Posted by fallsfall on March 5, 2004, at 12:52:19
In reply to Re: Does everyone here know each other?, posted by Speaker on March 5, 2004, at 12:25:36
With few exceptions, none of us knew any of the rest of us before we started posting here. (I did bring 2 of my local friends here to Babble - but I believe that I'm the exception...). I think that by reading and responding and posting your own issues and questions that you get to know other people. And depending on the people, you can get to know and feel close to people either in a short time or a long time. I find that there are particular posters who seem to "fit" with me more than others - they might have similar attitudes or similar issues - and I have established some offboard relationships with these people. But I love to see new people, and hear from "old" people who I don't have as strong an attachment to. I find that these people can be very helpful to me both by responding to my pleas for help, and by bringing up subjects that help me to think and understand the world.
I've been here almost 11 months! Maybe I'll figure out a way to celebrate my anniversary when it comes!
Welcome - and we'll get to know each other.
P.S. In my opinion, it is NEVER "butting" in to respond on a thread. These threads are posted on a public board - that means that everyone who wants to participate is welcomed. If two posters want to have a private conversation, they can exchange email instead of posting. So - I encourage everyone to "butt in" as often as you would like!
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 13:15:05
In reply to Re: Does everyone here know each other?, posted by toomuchpain on March 5, 2004, at 10:44:48
Yeah me too not many respond to me and I have just started to not post to people who take the time to thank others for their replies and comments but overlook me as if I didnt take the time to address their problem or question I now had a 3 strikes and youre not gonna hear from me rule. Sad but true
Posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 13:35:51
In reply to Re: Does everyone here know each other? » KindGirl, posted by EmmyS on March 4, 2004, at 20:20:13
Hi, KindGirl!
I didn't know anyone before I started posting around December. It does take a little time to get to know everyone. I try to keep in mind that everyone has their ups and downs. When I'm feeling okay, I try to offer as much support as I can, but this also means that when I need support, there are some I'm used to hearing from that just might not be up to it at the moment. So, I expect to see responses from different people and I welcome the variety.
I've also noticed that the boards, in general, seem to have mood swings. There are times when the new threads are, for the most part, full of positive and inquisitive thoughts and ponderings. On the flip side, there are the times when you must look to the responses for all of the positive support being given because there happen to be a lot of posters feeling down or going through difficult times.
Just my thoughts. I'm glad you're here!
Take care,
All Done
Posted by shortelise on March 5, 2004, at 13:48:47
In reply to Re: Does everyone here know each other? - KindGirl, posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 13:35:51
Thanks very much for this thread - I too feel that no one responds to what I write, that others merit long responses and I for some reason do not. It feels like it's because what I write is nothing, or trite, or somehow the wrong thing to write. Hm... why is that so familiar?
Could it be that it's about ME, not about you guys? Imagine that... :-)
ShortE
Posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 14:32:24
In reply to Re: Does everyone here know each other? - KindGirl, posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 13:35:51
Not that I've been around forever or anything, but if you're feeling hurt because people don't reply to your posts the way you've seen them reply to others that they "know", keep in mind that the goal of this site is to be suppportive. Now, this might seem like quite a contradiction. How could no response be categorized as supportive? Well, it could be the potential respondent's fear of sounding unsupportive. For example, I know I like to respond to each Babbler in a personalized sort of way if I can. Two Babblers could post the exact same question and I would fashion two different responses for the simple fact that I know a little of their history, their style of posting, and their sensitivity level. I would never want to post something that might offend someone and without having read maybe more than a few posts from someone, I might hesitate to respond for fear of unintentionally hurting that person.
My advice is the same as a lot of the advice we've seen here already. Keep posting and responding. It just takes time and we'll get to know you all, too!
I'm big on hugs, so here you go!
(((((New Babblers)))))
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 14:55:30
In reply to outsider, posted by shortelise on March 5, 2004, at 13:48:47
Me too and I do not start threads I did once. Mostly I post support and comments on other people's threads. They will post back to every response but mine you know, thank you so and so and some people have posted after me just repeating what I SAID...This has happened a few times and that is not in my mind. So like I said I give up on those people cause its not that they need to know me better to say something back when they seem to take the time to do it to everyone else. Its ok but too bad and kind of makes me sad that someone else takes EXACTLY what I said in support to them...adds a few words and gets a GEE THANK YOU AND SO ON....AND I am ignored. In one case I think I was the first to reply and got zip..then EVERYIONE who replied after me...got a thanks and reply from the poster. Three strikes is my new style. IF I see they only said something to say 3 out of 10 posters no problems but I have two people who repeatedly overlook me...so I give up...back to the housewife grind for now :)
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 5, 2004, at 15:13:31
In reply to Re: outsider » shortelise, posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 14:55:30
wow,
thats not how i look at it at all...
if i failed to respond to anyone directly it is certainly not because i didnt appreciate the post..
sometimes i go for days not reading or posting because i dont feel well, or my line is tied up.
i dont read all threads either because sometimes i cant be helpful and view a post from me will be just some drunk'n drool...
i want to help..
j
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 16:49:09
In reply to Re: outsider » Fallen4myT, posted by justyourlaugh on March 5, 2004, at 15:13:31
But my point is, and its not you ok....I have posted and say the person started thread...replied to EVERYONE .....BUT ME...that is just not something I care to deal with. Thats all I am saying. If they have time to thank 3 out of 4 replies or comment seems that 4th reply should receive the same courtesy. I dont always post either or even to all threads NOR as I said do I expect a reply all the time but I DO when a reply is extended to everyone BUT me .
Posted by gardenergirl on March 5, 2004, at 19:09:02
In reply to Re: outsider » justyourlaugh, posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 16:49:09
You know, I've had the same thing happen to me before. And I have to admit, it hurt. But I'm sure I have also done it inadvertently. I think it's really hard to keep up sometimes, the threads can get long in what seems like just a moment.
gg
Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 19:11:35
In reply to Re: outsider » shortelise, posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 14:55:30
Oh my! That sounds terribly unpleasant. If I am a guilty party, I apologize profusely and assure you that it is totally inadvertant. I don't believe there is a single person on the board who I would deliberately ignore or refuse to respond to a reply.
Mind you, there are threads where I feel I can't really add anything useful, or where the answers already given sum up anything I might say. But a particular poster? Certainly not.
If you don't mind, might I share some unasked for advice?
It's great to meet people here who you instantly click with and have a lot in common with. But my richest and most eye opening experiences have come from getting to know people I might not otherwise get to know. People that initially I might not have connected with on board, or that I even had friction with. But as I watched them, I grew to see really fine qualities.
I understand wanting to protect yourself with your three strikes rule, but I can also see that you might be robbing yourself of some truly rewarding experiences by adhering rigidly to it. There are all sorts of reasons people might not reply that have nothing to do with whether or not you'd like to get to know them.
I think that the best advice is to just keep posting. When I first got here, I was positive that all my posts effectively ended a thread. That the threads I started were single post threads. And that I'd never fit in. But one day I said something that resonated with someone and they started conversing with me, and that drew me into other conversations, and eventually I didn't feel like the new kid. One day I'd like to learn to do that offline. :)
Dinah
P.S. Why don't you start threads? I always think threads are about topics, not people. Well, maybe the ones that ask for support are about people. But the ones that muse on a topic, I'm not even sure I always notice who started the thread. I just get interested in the topic and the different replies. So if you're musing about a topic, or if you want some support, why *not* start a thread? Some might capture more attention than others, but that's ok. Threads have their own lives and the twist and turn as they go along.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 19:24:08
In reply to Re: outsider » Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 19:11:35
Oh God no Dinah, you aren't one of them really. No it's a different case where those who I post to help or comment on their threads never take the moment to post to me BUT DO to "ALL" others. I just dont need it ya know :) I haven't started a topic because so far I don't have any ideas. Also I think it was on your thread but not sure it was yours where someone asked if youre afraid to talk on certain things about you? Well as I posted I am because the things I would say would maybe be SO obvious that it IS ME..as in ME in real life that I cannot post on the things that are on my mind :( But thanks :)
Oh and me too I NEVER do ALL threads some stuff I dont know anything about like children and things like that.
Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 19:32:26
In reply to Re: outsider » Dinah, posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 19:24:08
Maybe you could throw in some red herrings. Like talking about how cold it is in North Dakota. So that even if your closest friend read, they'd never know for sure it was you.
I blew my cover when I started talking about Harry, if it wasn't blown already. People who barely know me know my dogs, their names, and their health problems.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 19:36:38
In reply to I understand privacy concerns. » Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 19:32:26
Lmao now ya blew it cause I didn't know your dog's name :O and now I do lol. You have a point I shall think on it but see the things I REALLY want and need to talk about all are so telling like on my T. If I posted like what he has done or said. I would be known. I can't think my way around it...but will try :P
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 5, 2004, at 20:54:35
In reply to outsider, posted by shortelise on March 5, 2004, at 13:48:47
Posted by terrics on March 5, 2004, at 21:16:07
In reply to Does everyone here know each other?, posted by KindGirl on March 4, 2004, at 18:18:16
Hi, I haven't been posting here for long either. It's fun though and supportive and most everyone is friendly and tries to be helpful. Fallen4myT started posting about the time I did. It seems to be a pretty cohesive group. Just hang in there because it takes awhile for people to get to know you. As far as rules; Just don't be nasty to anyone even if they are nasty first. terrics
Posted by Crooked Heart on March 6, 2004, at 6:24:03
In reply to Re: outsider » Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 19:11:35
<When I first got here, I was positive that all my posts effectively ended a thread.DING!!! ...Sound of chord being struck, it's *my* posts that do that! :)
ch
Posted by All Done on March 6, 2004, at 7:51:21
In reply to Re: outsider » Dinah, posted by Crooked Heart on March 6, 2004, at 6:24:03
> <When I first got here, I was positive that all my posts effectively ended a thread.
>
> DING!!! ...Sound of chord being struck, it's *my* posts that do that! :)
>
> chHi ch!
Just don't want your post to end the thread! :)
Hope you're having a great day!
(((Crooked Heart)))
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 9:15:46
In reply to Re: outsider » Dinah, posted by Crooked Heart on March 6, 2004, at 6:24:03
:)
I doubt there's a single person at Babble that doesn't feel that. Sending a post out into cyberspace is like sending a tiny piece of myself. Others may barely notice, but I'm accutely aware of it and its fate.
Of course, I post so prolifically now that even I don't often remember the tiny piece of myself that I sent out with care.
Posted by gooses_2 on March 6, 2004, at 14:43:21
In reply to Re: Thread killers » Crooked Heart, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 9:15:46
i guess i feel the same way that you do. i spend alot more time reading than i do replying. im almost too scared to post anything, of my own or in response. maybe ill just start and get into it. my question is: how do you find your way around?? any responses will be greatly appreciated ;) rh
Posted by Poet on March 6, 2004, at 18:15:32
In reply to Does everyone here know each other?, posted by KindGirl on March 4, 2004, at 18:18:16
I've been posting since August, I don't know anyone, personally, but I feel that everyone here is my friend.
I've gotten advice and support that has really helped me. I don't post as often as I used to due to work, I'm not ignoring anyone, I just don't have access to a computer as much.
Thanks for all the help, keep it coming and I'll keep it coming to all of you.
Poet
Posted by DaisyM on March 6, 2004, at 20:00:56
In reply to Hello to Babblers old and new and in between, posted by Poet on March 6, 2004, at 18:15:32
I think everyone has their own battles, both with time and with their struggles. I know when my husband takes a down turn I have less access to my computer so I post less. Or, like the past two weeks, if I'm suffering I try to work up the energy to reply but don't get to all I'd like. Sometimes I feel like the "old" person here too...
I agree with Dinah and everyone else who said, don't take it personal. Most of the time if you get skipped, it is either an accident or some other fluke.
I stick mostly here but some people post on all the Boards. I don't know how they have the time!
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