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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 5 to 29 of 29. Go back in thread:
Posted by DaisyM on March 5, 2004, at 22:05:57
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring, posted by Apperceptor on March 5, 2004, at 21:46:43
I would like to be transformed with into someone who knows how to get and graciously accept support from another. I would also like to be able to *just* support another and not have to fix everything for them.
My Therapist tells me frequently his magic wand is in the shop being fixed, so I'm stuck with *just* him.
Posted by fallsfall on March 5, 2004, at 22:33:23
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring, posted by DaisyM on March 5, 2004, at 22:05:57
That magic wand fix-it shop is incredibly backed up. My old therapist's wand was there, too - seemed like forever!
Posted by Elle2021 on March 5, 2004, at 22:53:59
In reply to The Magic Ring, posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 21:23:46
> This is a pretty loaded question, I suppose, but if you were as lucky as me and had a T with a magic ring ;), how would you want it to transform you?
I would want it to take away my OCD, take away my "irrational thinking patterns, take away my "automatic thoughts," and erase all the parts of my childhood that I have done such an excellent job of repressing. You see lately the events seem to be popping into my conscious mind and I just do not want to think about them.
Elle
Posted by KindGirl on March 5, 2004, at 23:20:30
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Elle2021 on March 5, 2004, at 22:53:59
That is an awesome ring and it sounds like your T. is a caring person!!!
Okay, thinking about the ring and MY T. wearing it, I most likely would express a wish that pertains directly to me and her (there are a lot of things I wish were different about my life unfortunately!) but I would wish that I could believe her when she says she really cares about me and that I could just jump off that therapy cliff into her arms again and again. This has been her desire for me as well but trust is...well...you all know about trust and how impossible it seems most of the time!
GREAT QUESTION!
Posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 23:36:15
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » DaisyM, posted by fallsfall on March 5, 2004, at 22:33:23
Looks like my T is working hard to join yours in the Perfect Therapists' Club. Is there one of those? Do I need to bring a bowtie for him to wear tomorrow, falls? :)
Posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 23:38:13
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Elle2021 on March 5, 2004, at 22:53:59
> You see lately the events seem to be popping into my conscious mind and I just do not want to think about them.
Elle,
That must be really tough to deal with. Have you had a chance to talk with your T about them, yet?
All Done
Posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 23:46:35
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring, posted by KindGirl on March 5, 2004, at 23:20:30
KindGirl,
That is great stuff to hope for in therapy. Unfortunately, it's sometimes the hardest to attain. Trust can be so elusive. On the bright side, though, it sounds like you have a T that's more than willing to work with you to get there. Good luck and I'll let you borrow the ring when we're done with it :).
Take care,
All Done
Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 23:53:02
In reply to The Magic Ring, posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 21:23:46
My therapist wouldn't let me use a magic ring. He'd say I was abdicating my responsibility. lol.
But if I had a therapist who let me use one... Hmmm...
I'd like my daydreams back of course! The second one. Right where they left off.
Posted by All Done on March 6, 2004, at 0:00:32
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 23:53:02
> I'd like my daydreams back of course! The second one. Right where they left off.
I'm hoping you're going to get them back with or without magic. Have you had any luck so far or too many other things on your mind?
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 0:09:49
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » Dinah, posted by All Done on March 6, 2004, at 0:00:32
I'm working on it. So far I've written down the gist of the second fantasy and remembered some things that caused me to revise what I wrote. I also am rewatching the TV shows that were the inspiration for some of the characters.
But so far I'm just remembering, not experiencing.
On the bright side, I've really enjoyed my Quantum Leap marathon. The Scott Bakula character in my daydreams was based on the character in the show (integrity is sooo attractive), although there was no similarity in plotline. And I must say, just watching the show has pleasures all its own. ;)
Or I'm open to the possibility that it's time to morph from daydream scenario two to daydream scenario three. So I'm keeping my mind open for possibilities. I'd sort of like to keep Scott Bakula though. :P
I'm sorry that my therapist won't join me in this goal. But perhaps that just increases my determination to reach it. :)
I'm a bad therapy client. A very bad therapy client. (grin) But surely he can't claim I'm not taking responsibility.
Have you felt any difference in your self confidence levels?
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 0:31:20
In reply to The Magic Ring, posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 21:23:46
It would transform me into Mrs T :) That's honest lol
Posted by All Done on March 6, 2004, at 0:52:16
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 0:09:49
> But so far I'm just remembering, not experiencing.
That *has* to be a good start (I hope, I hope!)
> integrity is sooo attractiveI hear you and Scott Bakula - yummy!
> I'm sorry that my therapist won't join me in this goal. But perhaps that just increases my determination to reach it. :)You go!
> I'm a bad therapy client. A very bad therapy client. (grin) But surely he can't claim I'm not taking responsibility.lol - you are too funny! (He especially can't claim that you're not taking responsibility if you don't talk to him about it, though. Catch 22, I suppose.)
> Have you felt any difference in your self confidence levels?Well, it has always fluctuated a bit and recently, I've been feeling okay (often, work is the deciding factor and that has been relatively calm as of late). I figure like everything this is going to take some time and work, though.
Posted by All Done on March 6, 2004, at 1:10:54
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 0:31:20
> It would transform me into Mrs T :) That's honest lol
lol - do you know the image you just gave me of your therapist? You know, Mr. T...
Posted by Elle2021 on March 6, 2004, at 2:35:59
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » Elle2021, posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 23:38:13
> Elle,
That must be really tough to deal with. Have you had a chance to talk with your T about them, yet?
No I haven't been able to talk to her about them yet. I know that at some point we are going to have to have that discussion. I just can not bring myself to even utter the words. There are a number of problems with discussing it with her. For one, I have repressed the events for so long that I have managed to forget details of the events that might be important. Also, so many things happened to me concerning the issue that I would just not even know which event to begin with. Plus, once I start talking about them all those feelings will start flooding my mind and I just don't wanna go there. I want to tell her so bad but I can't. I couldn't tell my pdoc either, but then I didn't feel comfortable telling him anything. I'm much more comfy with Begonia though, so maybe there is hope. If you have any advice on how to get me to feel more comfortable discussing this topic I would be so extremely appreciative. I have never been able to reason it out myself.
Elle
Posted by Elle2021 on March 6, 2004, at 3:44:33
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 0:09:49
Dinah,
Have you tried forcing your mind to come up with some random senario. It wouldn't have to be anything grand. Maybe just start by evisioning yourself talking to someone about something. Or just think about yourself doing everyday things in a different country, like France or something. Make sure to conjure up lots of details like the scenery and how you feel. I'm just wondering that perhaps if you consciously make yourself have a daydream (even if you make youself think about it) then maybe eventually they will start coming naturally and automatically. I want you to have your daydreams back. I can't imagine what it would be like without mine.
Elle
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 9:25:28
In reply to Dinah » Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on March 6, 2004, at 3:44:33
Hmmm... I hadn't thought of that. I guess I don't have much of an imagination. :)) I went straight back to the old ones. Maybe I'll give it a try.
Posted by fallsfall on March 6, 2004, at 10:04:47
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring - Daisy and falls » fallsfall, posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 23:36:15
I think that one thing I like about the bowtie (and he wears one... I don't know, every 5 or 6 times I see him?) is that it looks very natural on him and it makes me feel like he is willing to be his own person, make his own decisions, not necessarily follow the crowd. That makes me feel like he will be more honest with me - because he isn't going to be so concerned with doing the "popular" thing.
Posted by fallsfall on March 6, 2004, at 10:05:57
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 23:53:02
> My therapist wouldn't let me use a magic ring. He'd say I was abdicating my responsibility. lol.
>You are so funny, Dinah!
Posted by fallsfall on March 6, 2004, at 10:15:11
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Elle2021 on March 6, 2004, at 2:35:59
Elle,
You might try starting by talking about the fact that there is a topic that you think should be discussed in therapy, but you can't bring it up. Then tell her all the things you said in your post. All of your reasons are SO reasonable. My guess is that she would be able to help you figure out what the least risky way of getting into it might be. Your fear sounds so incredibly normal. She won't care if you "start at the beginning" and if you can make it sound like a coherent thought. She won't care if you don't know all the details - even if you never remember them all. She will care that you sound like you have a lot of anxiety about this issue and keeping it buried.
Posted by shortelise on March 6, 2004, at 13:41:30
In reply to The Magic Ring, posted by All Done on March 5, 2004, at 21:23:46
to love myself.
ShortE
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 13:45:34
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » Fallen4myT, posted by All Done on March 6, 2004, at 1:10:54
LMAO OMG, I forgot that show...lol lol...O.K my T is short and has blue eyes and VERY "SOFT" spoken not yelling :) and he only wears a watch :)
> > It would transform me into Mrs T :) That's honest lol
>
> lol - do you know the image you just gave me of your therapist? You know, Mr. T...
Posted by DaisyM on March 6, 2004, at 14:30:13
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 0:09:49
>>>On the bright side, I've really enjoyed my Quantum Leap marathon. The Scott Bakula character in my daydreams was based on the character in the show (integrity is sooo attractive), although there was no similarity in plotline. And I must say, just watching the show has pleasures all its own. ;)
<<<Did I miss it? I'm a HUGE Quantum fan and have most of the episodes on tape. I know it is on Sci-Fi Sundays. Add in Star Trek and Scott and I'm over the edge! Yes, amazingly enough, I'm a trekky. Noone ever believes it but I have a phaser in my office my kids gave me for Christmas. I've always wanted to space/time travel. Wonder what that means? Another escape fantasy?
Posted by DaisyM on March 6, 2004, at 14:47:45
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Elle2021 on March 6, 2004, at 2:35:59
Elle,
I'm 42 and until last sept had never talked about what happened when I was a kid. I told my husband (2 sentences, 20 yrs ago) before we got married because I though it was the right thing to do. We never discussed it, then or now. I had no intention of "working on this" when I went into therapy. I was looking for support and stress reduction.After 4 months, it bubbled up and just came out. Same two sentences I had said to my husband. My Therapist said, "do you want to talk about it?" I said no. And I went home and threw up.
But slowly we have. Because the memories were surfacing and intruding. My lament has been, "why now?" after all this time. My Therapist just said that the psyche has its own time table and when you feel safe "enough" with someone, this sometimes happens.
I want you to know that I remembered one incident pretty well but when I talked about it, I remembered more and others. What I remembered well was actually a middle incident. The details come back sometimes. And the feelings even more slowly. And when I've talked about this, especially in the beginning, I would start, stop, breathe really deep for awhile, use really broad terms and approximations and flinch when he would clarify what I meant. But he has never made me say what I couldn't. I've even written stuff, given it to him and when he asked if I was ready to talk about it, I've said no.
We don't only work on the topic of childhood abuse. We move from present day stressors, back to the past, forward and back again. I can only take so much. I think I've said in previous posts that my Therapist recently clarified for me that breaks are essential.
Don't push yourself too hard. But it seems like you are getting closer and closer to letting it out. It takes a lot of trust in your Therapist; I still often question whether mine can handle ALL of it. So we spend time talking about how telling him is making me feel, not just how I feel about what happened.
I'll help anyway I can. Just ask.
-D
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 20:32:40
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » Dinah, posted by DaisyM on March 6, 2004, at 14:30:13
Alas, I'm just watching a video tape marathon. BUT, the DVD is about to come out for the first season (with the rest of the seasons hopefully following). I preordered.
I'm a Trekker too! Even been to a few conventions. :) Only the first show, though. Even Scott Bakula can't keep me interested in Enterprise.
Posted by All Done on March 8, 2004, at 9:50:48
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring, posted by shortelise on March 6, 2004, at 13:41:30
> to love myself.
SortE,
That's a wonderful thing to want. I think it encompasses so many other things. If we all loved ourselves the way we should, I don't think we would need magic rings anymore.
Thanks for sharing,
All Done
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