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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 12:57:29
just wanted to check up on you. i haven't heard from you in what feels like forever (though i look back and it's actually only been about 5 days...) man it seems so much longer than that. ok, so maybe i sound a little pathetic and needy. but what can i say...yep, that's me.
i just want to check and make sure you're doing ok.
i'm actually in a helpful mode in life so i can actually be supportive to those i care about. That's YOU shadows.as for me?
i talked to my GP this morning and he told me my assignment is to talk to my T about my body issues/my restricting, and that what i talked to him about two weeks ago is infact only the tip of the iceberg. that i do have many more things i need to discuss, and to say (he said this is what i should say) "i have more things but i'm not ready to discuss them yet". He gave me this little smirk and said "ok 'b2c' promise me you will tell him this". so how can i resist that soft caring, man with a spirited little smirk. so i agreed. i did promise him and i will do it. not for my T, not even for me, but i would do Anything my GP asks. (He's AWESOME, he Genuinly cares about me and he knows me quite well...) Everytime i see him, i think i tell him more in 15min than i do my T in 8 sessions!!!
But it may also be cuz i think he knows what some of my secrets may be. He says it in a round about way, and gives great psych advice. I asked him this morning when he was going back to get his degree in psych and that i'd be his first Px!Anyway, how'd this conversation end up about me??? there goes my selfish needyness again.
-i really do want to know if you're ok. even if you may not be up to posting lots, maybe just give a messge line (i'm here...still breathing...something like that????)
PLEASE TAKE CARE!!!!Missing you ((Shadows)).
B2c.
Posted by shadows721 on July 18, 2004, at 1:51:41
In reply to Where are you Shadows721??, posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 12:57:29
Hi B2,
I have been on vacation since Monday. I have been thinking of you too. I have been hoping that you are doing okay. I have been hanging in there. Thanks so much for writing me a note. I really appreciated it.;-)
Posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 13:40:50
In reply to Re: Where are you Shadows721??, posted by shadows721 on July 18, 2004, at 1:51:41
Hope you had a nice break? did you do anything special? (wanting to live vicariously through your vacation...)
hope you did.
today i am good. i'm just coming off a manic/dysphoric ride. saw my three docs in a row last week. T on tues, pdoc on wed, and Gp on thurs...boy i LOVE my GP. he always makes me feel good. even if i have bad depression, he actually/i think genuinely cares about his patients. and i think he knows (somehow) what some of the issues i'm dealing with really are (where NO ONE else does), in fact i think he figured them out last fall right after my Dx and i started cutting more and more. he would gently bring things up. and this last thursday, he brought up a little more and i just kept thinking WHY can't this guy be my T????
Well. for now i'm feeling ok. i'm heading to the library in a bit to find some books. i've been wanting to attempt to paint some of my sketches (but i'm terrible at the human body) so i'm going to try to find some help from books for details.I hope you are well. and please just give me a shout and i'll be there in a heartbeat for you. You have truly been incredible to me at some of my MOST desperate times. Unfortunatly for both of us you understand some of my turmoil.
But it comforts me greatly to know you are near.
Thanks Shadows.
Lots of Love.
B2c.
Posted by shadows721 on July 18, 2004, at 13:55:49
In reply to Re: Where are you Shadows721??, posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 13:40:50
Yes, I did something that I have NEVER done in my life on this vacation. I went tubing down a river. It was really different. I didn't really know how to steer my tube, so I kept hitting logs in the river. Everyone in my family just can't believe anxious/depressed Shadows went out in the wild down the rapids of a river in a tube. Well, nobody Shadows that well including me. I have always been unpredictable. I went to a play about Charlie Brown, went bowling, played pool, saw a movie, and went to a zoo. I wanted to do more, but I think that I wore the hubby out. I was in another state of mind. It's like I am another person in MS. I totally change. It's like let's go and have fun. Here, were I live. I am a crying slug. Strange. But, that's me alright. Out of no where I told the hubby, "I am 50% of your wife and I have my rights!" My hubby said, "What?!" I still don't know why or what that means. Weird. But, that's me.
Oh, I am so glad you have a doc you really like. That is sooooooooo important. Are they trying to get you back in touch with your body in relation to the cutting? If your body had a voice, what would it say about what you are doing to it? Remember, it has it's right's too.
Posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 13:58:39
In reply to Re: Where are you Shadows721??, posted by shadows721 on July 18, 2004, at 1:51:41
Shadows i just wanted to say that you have been such an incredible support and a great person to talk with. and i wouldn't mind talking with you outside of babble. I recently got an email account through yahoo if you are interested. i was Real hesitent to do this but so far haven't regreted it. I want you to know that i am here for you. But know that i understand if you aren't comfortable doing this (especially after some of your experiences). BELIVE me i understand. but i want you to have it.
it's chicab2fcp at yahoo dot comtake care.
B2c.
Posted by shadows721 on July 18, 2004, at 14:07:17
In reply to Re: Some info for you Shadows., posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 13:58:39
Thanks B2. I would love to email with you outside of this forum. I will send you a note today.
Posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 14:17:31
In reply to Re: Where are you Shadows721??, posted by shadows721 on July 18, 2004, at 13:55:49
>>I went tubing down a river. It was really different.
That sounds AWESOME! and the play and zoo and all that? WOW, i'm impressed. you did Wonderful for yourself S!
>>I didn't really know how to steer my tube, so I kept hitting logs in the river.
-sorry, but (heheehehe) you made me giggle. i'm picturing this-and man if that wouldn't be me doing the same!
>>Well, nobody knows Shadows that well including me.
it's funny you say this. My biggest saying is "the biggest mistake a person will EVER make is to assume to know who i am!" and i MEAN that. partly because i change often, and partly because i have SO MANY sides to me how could they? (especially when i don't let them in)
(and i think i agree in that even i don't know completely what i'm all about-i guess that's why i'm seeing a T right?)>>Out of no where I told the hubby, "I am 50% of your wife and I have my rights!" My hubby said, "What?!" I still don't know why or what that means. Weird. But, that's me.
That is very interesting. For some reason when i read this it's like i knew exactly what you meant (about the 50% part) but now...i can't remember what i was thinking?? on the other hand do you have DID? could this be just a part of you saying this?
>>Oh, I am so glad you have a doc you really like. That is sooooooooo important.-ya, i just wish he was my T and not my GP (well, no cuz i love him being my GP...)but i want him to be both! I even told him about my restricting lately. He was so supportive (just like a doctor) he said he was just worried about my electrolytes and if i'd try to drink like gatorade or something. but at the end he said "ok, here's your assignment. you need to talk to your T about the restricting, your body image, and your trust issues..." i just can't resist his little smirk and that caring face. he's just so gentle it's Incredible! so i will tell my T but not for me, not for my T...but for my GP :^P
>>Are they trying to get you back in touch with your body in relation to the cutting? If your body had a voice, what would it say about what you are doing to it? Remember, it has it's right's too.
-wow, S. this just sounds so insightful! Not yet, but it just seems like i never have enough time during my sessions to really get much out of them??? to answer you? i think my body would just scream-a blood curtaling scream. a scream of pain, anger, hurt, need, of feeling lost, and a scream of LISTEN TO ME!!!!
good thing is that i haven't cut in about 2? 21/2 weeks? something like that. but i was on that lovely uphill clime for h-mania so who knows when i fall back down. i typically do the D-M-I (depression, mania then level)where i think most do the M-D-I. so i'm guessing i'm level right now. i feel that way anyway.
ooops sorry this became a short novel.
talk to you later.
Good to hear from you Shadows.
Love
B2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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