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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 44 to 68 of 129. Go back in thread:
Posted by gardenergirl on July 22, 2004, at 10:19:45
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids » gardenergirl, posted by gabbix2 on July 22, 2004, at 1:21:54
Posted by AuntieMel on July 22, 2004, at 10:24:23
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids, posted by fires on July 21, 2004, at 17:21:47
I would really like to discuss why you think there are multiple ids for the same person. I saw one place where you thought TexasChic and JenStar might be the same person based on the capital letters in the names. I guess by that logic, I would be another id of the same person. Which I find amusing in a way because I've disagreed on some things with them. (hmmm - did I post it? I don't remember.) Actually I'm a programmer by trade and the caps just come naturally.
So, to introduce myself, I am female, just turned 50, live the "perfect" suburban life - kids, pets, the works. I have also been depressed longer than I can remember, but I know it started when I was a kid. About 2 years ago it became major depression and I'm just now beginning to come out of it. I take a med cocktail, and go to therapy because the dual approach is supposed to work best. But I get less out of therapy than others because I tend to work on a logical level, not an emotional one.
And, interestingly, I am also from Texas, though I believe TexasChic is from north Texas and I live near the coast.
I also am cursed by being able to see more than one side to any issue. Possibly why I'm inserting myself into this.
And, I have a lot in my toolbox besides hammers.
So, folks here are extending an olive branch. Could you maybe meet it half way? Please? We don't all have to agree, but detante would be good. What has happened has happened.
Mel
Posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 10:39:09
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids » fires, posted by gardenergirl on July 21, 2004, at 23:48:21
Notice how many times the subject line of my post got changed. also, how far afield it got from my original subject line. Also, follow some of the posts by persons who say one thing to one poster than say another , to another. (180 degrees opposite).
I'm curious, don't some people have other things to do besides reply to posts all day long?
Thanks
Posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 10:40:52
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids, posted by gardenergirl on July 21, 2004, at 23:50:54
No thanks. The tide is against me, as witnessed by threads that change topic with each new post.
Posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 10:42:13
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids » gardenergirl, posted by gabbix2 on July 22, 2004, at 1:21:54
What? Please translate your cryptic message.
Posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 11:00:59
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids » fires, posted by AuntieMel on July 22, 2004, at 10:24:23
The olive branch you mention comes with a price: to confess that I am "toubled" by some mysterious problem!?
As Popeye said: "That's all I can stand I can't stands no more." Until my next post on the hazards of Therapy (for newbies).
bye
Posted by AuntieMel on July 22, 2004, at 13:57:39
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids, posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 10:39:09
I'm going to try to answer your four posts. Pardon me if I don't hit everything. The brain is a bit fuzzy today. Added a new med to the cocktail yesterday.
And please understand that sometime things don't read (typed) the way the writer intended. I am really trying to have a conversation with you, not be argumentative.
-------------You are right - the subject line did change a lot. It happens in all the threads. Folks tend to change them when their post speaks to one particular part of the one they are replying to.
Or direct them to one person (although anyone can read them) if they want to say "thank your" or something like that to that person.I personally think changing the subject line can be a good thing. It would be really hard to follow if it stayed the same through - say - 75 to 100 replies. I find it hard enough to focus anyway. Sometimes threads do "branch" naturally, with the original post being the starting point.
And I would have answered your original post with a hearty congratulations if I had seen it. I was off early on Friday - I think, and only have access to computer at work right now.
As for contradictory messages - I really haven't seen any serious ones. But I know my opinions change with my moods - and depression *is* a mood disorder.
No, the olive branch has no conditions. And I'm not asking you to admit anything that isn't true. And some of the hazards of therapy that you talked about really resonated with me and others didn't. And that's ok As I've read over and over here "your milage may vary"
What I've been advocating is a cease-fire. Put aside (you can never truly forget - without ECT) any hurts you have experienced here and some of the folks around here want to do the same. If it works well - and I've no reason to think it won't - then maybe a full peace will come.
cryptic message: I think it was a bit of light heartedness about the multiple id thing. No harm intended.
Peace
Mel
Posted by gardenergirl on July 22, 2004, at 14:05:34
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids, posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 10:42:13
fires,
I believe Gabbi's post was directed to me as she used the add name as previous poster button, and I agree with Aunt Mel that it was in lighthearted spirit.Regards,
gg
Posted by gabbix2 on July 22, 2004, at 14:20:26
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids » fires, posted by gardenergirl on July 22, 2004, at 14:05:34
It was indeed light hearted, thanks for assuming the best :)
Posted by Larry Hoover on July 22, 2004, at 16:15:38
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids, posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 10:39:09
Some observations....
> Notice how many times the subject line of my post got changed.
Nobody changed the subject line of your post. It's still the same, and it's still at the top of this thread. People changed the subject line of their own posts. It's a simple matter to change it back, if it's important to you.
> also, how far afield it got from my original subject line.
Like you, right now?
> Also, follow some of the posts by persons who say one thing to one poster than say another , to another. (180 degrees opposite).
Don't read posters who trouble you, maybe?
> I'm curious, don't some people have other things to do besides reply to posts all day long?
>
> Thanks19 out of about 52 of all the posts in this thread are yours.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 17:12:17
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids » fires, posted by Larry Hoover on July 22, 2004, at 16:15:38
Ooh Larry, that last one - truth hurts sometimes.
Posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2004, at 18:25:55
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids, posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 10:39:09
> I'm curious, don't some people have other things to do besides reply to posts all day long?<
That statement led me to feel, as Dr Bob would say, put down.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 18:36:31
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids » fires, posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2004, at 18:25:55
Well gosh - me too! That is not civil at all!!
Posted by chemist on July 22, 2004, at 19:37:31
In reply to Re: Off topic digressions, multiple ids » TexasChic, posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 18:36:31
> Well gosh - me too! That is not civil at all!!
hello there, chemist here...i rarely wander over to this side of babbleland...i, too, feel a bit hurt by the statement referred to by TexasChic and partlycloudy. given the breadth of maladies we are all working through, i can hardly think anything better than replying to posts if one has something positive to contribute, be it words of comfort, some scientific mumbo-jumbo, or another form of support. finally, i am forced to ask of the ubiquitous poster with the nom de plume ``fires:'' do you, sir, not have anything better to do all day than submit posts ad nauseum? respectfully, chemist
Posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 19:41:06
In reply to I'm with TC and PC... » partlycloudy, posted by chemist on July 22, 2004, at 19:37:31
You are so fricken eloquent, chemist. Glad to see you back, and haunting these parts!
Posted by pinkeye on July 22, 2004, at 19:58:20
In reply to Re: I'm with TC and PC... » chemist, posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 19:41:06
What would it be like to have a T who has the same attitude like Fires?? My God.
Posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 20:30:13
In reply to I'm with TC and PC... » partlycloudy, posted by chemist on July 22, 2004, at 19:37:31
>>finally, i am forced to ask of the ubiquitous poster with the nom de plume ``fires:'' do you, sir, not have anything better to do all day than submit posts ad nauseum? respectfully, chemist <<
I take the sarcasm in your rhetorical question to be an ad hominem attack and therefore choose not to reply.
Thanks
Posted by chemist on July 22, 2004, at 20:35:48
In reply to Re: I'm with TC and PC... » chemist, posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 19:41:06
> You are so fricken eloquent, chemist. Glad to see you back, and haunting these parts!
hello there, pc (if i may take the liberty of shortening your call sign: you will, i hope, inform me if you object)...i had been following this and other threads to which ``fires'' has shared his thoughts on so many subjects, most interestingly the notion that numerous doppelgangers were among the crowd here. after reading a most succinct dissection of one of ``fires'' posts by Larry Hoover. i felt compelled to join the party, as i am truly befuddled by the frequency of posts attributed to ``fires:'' might ``fires'' actually be several people posting as one? and despite statements made by ``fires'' to the effect that he will not return to this forum, ``fires'' reappears nonetheless. like Colonal Cathcart in Joseph Heller's ``Catch-22'' - who found himself vexed by the possibility that several Yossarians were mucking things up - i, in an analogous manner, am pondering if there is more than one ``fires,'' after all. they do seem to come and go, and leave cryptic messages. on the other hand, this ``fires'' has littered the board in such a way that even the most reluctant of us are drawn to him (them?). i also note that ``fires'' is keen to discuss ``multiple ids:'' perchance, have i been mistakenly reading ``ids'' as an abbreviation for ``identifiers,'' or ``i.d.s'' when in fact ``fires'' is referring to the id? as i have not found any references to multiple egos or multiple superegos, i am somewhat wary in pursuing this train of thought, yet i do entertain it: what if ``fires'' in subconsciously (or even consciously) alluding to the real possibility that ``fires'' is, in truth, multiple selves? that would be quite clever. all the best, chemist
Posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 20:38:24
In reply to Re: I'm with TC and PC... » chemist, posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 19:41:06
>>You are so fricken eloquent,<<
I think everyone knows what "fricken" stands for. I would appreciate it if you would refrain from using it in any thread that I start.
From the UC Berkeley on line Slang dictionary:
"frigging 1. a "polite" replacement for the word "f*cking." This word is more acceptable in public, but everyone knows what it "means," so it should still not be used in polite company. Also fricking." Mine: also "freakin, fricken"
Thanks
Posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 20:41:04
In reply to Re: I can imagine something worse, posted by pinkeye on July 22, 2004, at 19:58:20
I don't respond to ad hominem attacks.
Thank You
Posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 20:44:01
In reply to Re: I'm with TC and PC..., posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 20:38:24
Buddy, I started a new thread JUST FOR YOU at the bottom. Enjoy.
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2004, at 21:02:27
In reply to Re: I'm with TC and PC..., posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 20:38:24
And I think it may be a common misperception. I think that people not familiar with this sort of format might consider that a thread begun by them *belongs* to them. That it should not go off into tangents. That the originator of the thread should have control over what happens in the thread. That is not only should remain being about them, but it should remain being about them in the direction they would like it to go.
That's not what how it works at Babble. There are threads that have gone on for YEARS, and the original posters have long since left Babble for one reason or another. Yet the thread continues, with twists and turns and personal digressions and returns to the original subject.
The only person who owns threads on these boards is Dr. Bob. We sign away all our rights to him when we register. He owns the posts and can use them in any way he likes. We are required to follow *his* rules. We can't set our own. Dr. Bob generally allows narrowly disguised cuss words but doesn't allow the real thing. ONLY Dr. Bob can set the rules.
It must be truly painful to you that things don't follow the course you think they should follow. But things generally don't follow the course any of us think they should. And we generally feel a lot less pain in life if we accept that fact.
You might be met with greater warmth from fellow posters if you check your expectations against communal expectations and calmly discuss the differences and why you feel the way you do, and have a genuine interest in why others feel the way they do.
And I *am* interested in why you feel the way you do. Are you bewildered by the reception you get at the various places you've met with "ad hominem attacks"? Do you go in attempting to be helpful and are totally surprised and hurt at the response?
Do you secretly long for a healing therapeutic relationship and are afraid of reaching out for one because of your bad experiences? You don't need to be afraid. Just careful. Many of us interview several therapists before we choose one. Others unfortunately have one assigned to them. What sort of qualities would you look for in a therapist?
Why do you threaten to run away from Babble when you are met with kindness, yet keep returning? I assure you there is no need to be afraid. There are many posters here who are eager to extend a friendly hand. It's a bit scary isn't it? I'm sympathetic. When you haven't been met with much kindness in your life, it's hard to trust good intentions.
Why don't you start a new thread, to talk to the people who have friendly feelings toward you?
Posted by chemist on July 22, 2004, at 21:32:34
In reply to Re: I'm with TC and PC..., posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 20:30:13
> >>finally, i am forced to ask of the ubiquitous poster with the nom de plume ``fires:'' do you, sir, not have anything better to do all day than submit posts ad nauseum? respectfully, chemist <<
>
> I take the sarcasm in your rhetorical question to be an ad hominem attack and therefore choose not to reply.
>
> Thanks
>
hello there, chemist here. my question is indeed sincere, and you have reeled me in once again, as you stated that you would not reply, yet here i am, replying to your reply. did you mean, perhaps, that you would reply, but not answer the question i posed? i would not dare put words in one's mouth. please advise....all the best, chemist
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2004, at 21:50:37
In reply to Re: I can imagine something worse, posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 20:41:04
I really don't know all that much about you, other than that you would like to give the impression that you don't trust therapy. And that you have a special interest in recovered memories.
I always think it's much easier to bond if they know more about each other, and I'm sure the board would feel closer to you if they had a better understanding of where you're coming from.
It may appear that I have nothing better to do than to spend my days answering posts. :) But I also work 25-30 hours a week, and have a husband and young son that give me a great deal of joy. My diagnosis is OCD and cyclothymia, although I've had a couple of episodes of major depression - moderate. Two definitely had a hormonal component. I'm not sure if you're a woman. I've always rather had the impression you were male, but I'm sure there are male equivilants to female puberty, though probably not post-partum.
How about you? You mentioned that you spent some time in a hospital. Is your diagnosis depression? Bipolar? You also seem to have some pretty strong feelings about recovered memories. Have you or someone you care about been accused that way? I think everyone would have a lot more compassion for the strength of your convictions if they had a better understanding of how you came to have such strong opinions.
And of course, no one on Babble is obligated to answer any questions whatsoever. So if you feel at all uncomfortable, you can just politely ignore any or all of them.
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2004, at 22:06:13
In reply to Re: I can imagine something worse, posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 20:41:04
I know that some people come to a bulletin board and feel like they get lost in the woodwork. Their posts aren't answered. They don't feel at home. They're afraid they're being received with indifference. And *any* reaction at all may feel better than indifference. I think that's often true on and off line. Has that ever happened to you?
I think that if you have any concerns that you'll be lost in the shuffle, you can put them to rest. There will be people that will go out of their way to be kind to you. It isn't necessary to add spice to the life of this board. No one will see you as boring old mashed potatos.
Or some people feel they need to shock people out of complacency in order to get their attention. I've never found that to work very well in my life. What do you think of the technique? Do you think it's effective?
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