Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2004, at 21:02:27
In reply to Re: I'm with TC and PC..., posted by fires on July 22, 2004, at 20:38:24
And I think it may be a common misperception. I think that people not familiar with this sort of format might consider that a thread begun by them *belongs* to them. That it should not go off into tangents. That the originator of the thread should have control over what happens in the thread. That is not only should remain being about them, but it should remain being about them in the direction they would like it to go.
That's not what how it works at Babble. There are threads that have gone on for YEARS, and the original posters have long since left Babble for one reason or another. Yet the thread continues, with twists and turns and personal digressions and returns to the original subject.
The only person who owns threads on these boards is Dr. Bob. We sign away all our rights to him when we register. He owns the posts and can use them in any way he likes. We are required to follow *his* rules. We can't set our own. Dr. Bob generally allows narrowly disguised cuss words but doesn't allow the real thing. ONLY Dr. Bob can set the rules.
It must be truly painful to you that things don't follow the course you think they should follow. But things generally don't follow the course any of us think they should. And we generally feel a lot less pain in life if we accept that fact.
You might be met with greater warmth from fellow posters if you check your expectations against communal expectations and calmly discuss the differences and why you feel the way you do, and have a genuine interest in why others feel the way they do.
And I *am* interested in why you feel the way you do. Are you bewildered by the reception you get at the various places you've met with "ad hominem attacks"? Do you go in attempting to be helpful and are totally surprised and hurt at the response?
Do you secretly long for a healing therapeutic relationship and are afraid of reaching out for one because of your bad experiences? You don't need to be afraid. Just careful. Many of us interview several therapists before we choose one. Others unfortunately have one assigned to them. What sort of qualities would you look for in a therapist?
Why do you threaten to run away from Babble when you are met with kindness, yet keep returning? I assure you there is no need to be afraid. There are many posters here who are eager to extend a friendly hand. It's a bit scary isn't it? I'm sympathetic. When you haven't been met with much kindness in your life, it's hard to trust good intentions.
Why don't you start a new thread, to talk to the people who have friendly feelings toward you?
poster:Dinah
thread:366835
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/369191.html