![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by toomuchpain on September 12, 2004, at 9:23:08
hey all ... how is everyone... well here it goes ... i went out on a few dates with my former t after only after less then a year of bein terminted ... i am so confused ... now he wants a seroius thing between him and i and i just cant give that right now ... cus i still look at him hurting me in the therpy realtionship ... plus he has a wife ... i feeel so bad that i let this come of what was a messed up thing to begin with ... how do i try to get back back on the right track .....im not in therpy no more ... nothing i have no support line what so ever someone please help me!!!!
Posted by TofuEmmy on September 12, 2004, at 11:20:25
In reply to MESSED UP!!, posted by toomuchpain on September 12, 2004, at 9:23:08
TMP - Beneath all that confusion there still is a bright young woman. I completely believe that you already know the answers to your questions.
I know that you desire a life that is happier and healthier. I'm pretty sure you know that a happy healthy life for a young woman doesn't include a married former therapist as her boyfriend? Agreeing with me on that? :-) I'm thinking you already know that, huh?
And about not having any support, and not being in therapy? What's up with that? You had a pretty serious suicide attempt not that long ago. So, again...let's ponder that. Does it make sense for a young woman who was dragged through an emotional meat grinder by her former therapist and a lousy MH agency, and had a serious attempt, to NOT have a therapist??? Umm.....nope. And I think you know that too, right?
So your only source of support is us?? Now, Babblers are wonderous, but we're not enough. You need IRL support by your side sweetie. Please, oh please, get yourself back to a competent therapist.
Please try to re-think your feelings about your former therapist. I know the heart is a complicated place and you are confused. Please try to look at this man and what he has done to you. Is he a respectable and loving man? You deserve that kind of man, and no less.
Love yourself first. Take care of YOU. Surround yourself with people who want only the best for you. Sorry to be blunt, but I'm not seeing how he fits into that picture.
Please keep posting, TMP. I do so worry about you. I truly care about you and your happiness.
Emmy
Posted by fallsfall on September 12, 2004, at 11:26:21
In reply to MESSED UP!!, posted by toomuchpain on September 12, 2004, at 9:23:08
Hi Toomuchpain,
I'm a little confused. Are you saying that you dated your former therapist? Wasn't he the one who was suspended for a while because of inappropriate conduct with you? Wasn't he the one who was ordered to have no contact with you? How can setting up and going on a date be "having no contact"?
You know yourself that this is not a good situation for you. There is nothing in your post that even suggests that there is any positive side of this situation for you.
"Dating" you is unethical. Violating the "no contact" sanction is unethical. "Wanting a serious thing" is beyond unethical.
Toomuchpain, what happened to your therapy? Why do you not have a therapist? I would hope that you would be able to talk to your new therapist about why you are so drawn to this man who is clearly not good for you.
My first reaction is that you should go back to the council who applied the sanction and tell them what is going on.
Please advocate for yourself. You are a very strong person (we saw that during the committee meetings).
Maybe I'm missing something, or confusing you with someone else (I am doing "confused" very well these days...)??
Posted by Susan47 on September 12, 2004, at 19:52:33
In reply to MESSED UP!!, posted by toomuchpain on September 12, 2004, at 9:23:08
is what you'll have if you date a t who's still married. You said he wants something serious. Serious means, no wife, he's dating and you're one of his dates.
He wants his cake and eat it too does he? He probably thinks he's in love with you but love is a verb and his actions say uh-uh.
Just MO.
Posted by Susan47 on September 12, 2004, at 19:54:56
In reply to Re: MESSED UP!!, posted by TofuEmmy on September 12, 2004, at 11:20:25
Posted by Susan47 on September 12, 2004, at 19:56:29
In reply to Re: MESSED UP!! » toomuchpain, posted by fallsfall on September 12, 2004, at 11:26:21
Posted by gardenergirl on September 12, 2004, at 20:38:36
In reply to MESSED UP!!, posted by toomuchpain on September 12, 2004, at 9:23:08
On sweetie. It's good to hear from you, but my heart is breaking for you. I truly believe this man is exploiting you yet again. I wish I could tell you why he needs to do this. But I don't know. I do know that he is not doing it for YOU, but for HIM.
I'm sure there was a tremendous amount of curiousity about what it would be like. And of course hearing from someone how much they want you and care about you is intoxicating. Who doesn't want to hear that? But please remember how much pain he has caused you in the past. And if things feel all muddled to you, and no wonder!, please remember that objective parties determined that his actions were unethical and actually harmful to you. This is not the profile of the kind of man who is right for you. You deserve someone coming into this free and clear, someone who does not take advantage of the difference in power and the special trust developed between a therapist and client, and someone who has enough honor to take his chosen profession seriously.
You were so strong in handling this before. Please tell us how we can help here at Babble. And please, if you have any opportunity to do so, please find a caring, understanding, and ethical therapist to support you throught this.
Do post to let us know how you are. Even if you don't agree with my thoughts on this, I do care about you and want to know how you are.
((((tmp))))
gg
Posted by Susan47 on September 12, 2004, at 21:05:04
In reply to Re: MESSED UP!! » toomuchpain, posted by gardenergirl on September 12, 2004, at 20:38:36
Posted by pinkeye on September 13, 2004, at 15:45:10
In reply to MESSED UP!!, posted by toomuchpain on September 12, 2004, at 9:23:08
Don't do this toomuchpain. You have had enough in the past with this therapist including a suicide attempt. Why go through this again? Start seeing some other therpaist. And start having another boyfriend or someone. You are putting yourself at huge risk again.
Posted by toomuchpain on September 13, 2004, at 18:13:29
In reply to Re: MESSED UP!!, posted by pinkeye on September 13, 2004, at 15:45:10
welll i have have told him i CANNOT see him anymore and he was sooooooooooooooo mad ... the reason im not in therpy no more cus when we started seeing each other .. he told me he thought i didnt need one so i belivied him .. but i relize i do need one more then ever ... i am so messed up in the head ..
Posted by pinkeye on September 13, 2004, at 19:03:58
In reply to Re: MESSED UP!!, posted by toomuchpain on September 13, 2004, at 18:13:29
Well, just go to someone without telling him. Why even tell him? You don't want to go through pain again and hurt yourself.
Posted by fallsfall on September 13, 2004, at 21:42:23
In reply to Re: MESSED UP!!, posted by toomuchpain on September 13, 2004, at 18:13:29
(((((TooMuchPain)))))
I'm sorry. This man is despicable.
Can you go back to the last therapist you were seeing? I know there was one who you seemed to like. She won't be mad that you left, I bet she will be glad that you are back. Please get some help. This is too hard to do by yourself.
Please let us know how you are doing.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 13, 2004, at 22:44:52
In reply to Re: MESSED UP!! » toomuchpain, posted by fallsfall on September 13, 2004, at 21:42:23
Posted by just plain jane on September 14, 2004, at 2:27:11
In reply to MESSED UP!!, posted by toomuchpain on September 12, 2004, at 9:23:08
I agree with these other fine people.
This jerk obviously needs his credentials pulled. Not only do I think (MHO) that you should end all contact with him, but I believe you should report the relationship and what he told you about you not needing a therapist. It's clear to me he does not belong in this profession, or any other profession dealing with women. (I think "prison inmate" would be a nice occupation for him.) :-0
jpj
He's a donkey butt.
Posted by Susan47 on September 15, 2004, at 23:11:41
In reply to (((((((toomuchpain)))))) (nm), posted by gardenergirl on September 13, 2004, at 22:44:52
Posted by toomuchpain on September 16, 2004, at 16:30:59
In reply to Re: (((((((toomuchpain)))))) (nm), posted by Susan47 on September 15, 2004, at 23:11:41
well i havent spoke to him for a day or so .. and it is breaking my heart i love him so dearly ... do u think he could we could really be in love with each other ????
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.