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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 40. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on January 2, 2006, at 16:06:30
Not sure if I got the guts to do it. I know he doesn't believe in soul mates, so he might be closed minded about it. I tried to talk about it before about the other 2 soul mates in my life. And when he interupetd me and said he didn't believe in soul mates, I just clammed up.
But this was way in the beginning of therapy, before he really knew me well.I was thinking of saying that he is probably going to think I am nuts after I talk about this subject, but I need to talk about it and I need him to be patient and listen to me. I am going to say that I don't need validatation from him , or expect anything from him. I just have something to say. It is okay if he disagrees with me, or doesn't believe me, I know what I feel.
I am going to talk a little about that feeling about my grandma and old friend, (which we discussed before). I don't know if soul mates is the correct term, but it is hard to explain the feeling. It is like a warm, deep,confident, "spiritaul " feeling. Not love, lust, transference, but something more special than that. You know it if you have felt it. The spirit stays with you even when they have died.Then I am going to tell him he is my 3rd person I have felt this about immmediately the momement I met him. I don't know what kind of "soul mate" he is, but it is what it is.
I am going to talk about all the coincedenses between us, there are a lot to them, he has even noticed it. I think they are signs. I am going to say he is probably going to think I am full of sh*t or I have been smoking weed or something, but is something I have felt a year ago, but now feel comfortable with telling him.
I know I am risking this by telling him, he may deceide to stop doing therapy with me because of my feelings. But it is what it is, and I don't expect him to understand it. But I am thinking if I can get an appointment this week (i called today), I am going to tell him. If I don't chicken out. My one year anniversary of therapy is Jan. 4th, so that would quite a present to give to him. Or I will get the present of termination, which is scary. I will be in open tonight, if you all want to talk. :)
Posted by Tabitha on January 2, 2006, at 17:43:01
In reply to Thinking about talking about the pink elephant, posted by happyflower on January 2, 2006, at 16:06:30
I think that opening up this topic will be a good thing for you and for your therapy. It takes guts to talk about stuff like that in therapy.
I think the chance of him terminating you is really small. But it might be good to tell him about having that fear as well as your feelings for him.
Posted by crazy teresa on January 2, 2006, at 18:12:19
In reply to Re: Thinking about talking about the pink elephant » happyflower, posted by Tabitha on January 2, 2006, at 17:43:01
You can do it and I doubt he'll terminate. He sounds like a reasonable guy.
Now, if you can't stop yourself once you start and take off all your clothes and throw yourself on top of him, termination could happen. So keep your clothes on, girlie! ;~}
Posted by crazy teresa on January 2, 2006, at 18:22:23
In reply to Re: Thinking about talking about the pink elephant » Tabitha, posted by crazy teresa on January 2, 2006, at 18:12:19
Posted by LadyBug on January 2, 2006, at 18:36:11
In reply to Thinking about talking about the pink elephant, posted by happyflower on January 2, 2006, at 16:06:30
Oh Happy I think you have the guts!!! And I think if you read what you wrote you have the answers that he could possible give you. One is that he will be your soul mate, another is he will work through this with you, and lastly he could terminate; which I doubt to be the case.
I think you better be prepared for him to tell you he likes you but it can't go any farther than that. If he is a good therapist he isn't going to break any boundaries with a patient or put the patient in harms way.
I think most of us would like to climb inside our therapists personal life and hang out with them. I dream of doing that all the time. I imagine what mine is doing just about all hours of the day. I wish I could be her sister, or better yet, her daughter, but she's not old enough to be my mom. Now if your T. is as good as mine, he can handle you talking about your feelings and you can work through it with him.
I've been obsessed with my therapist during my course of treament. So obsessed it hurt.
I wish you the best, and I think you're doing the right thing!! You go girl! Keep an open mind to his reply and you'll be fine. Do let us know what happens!!
LadyBug
Posted by Tabitha on January 2, 2006, at 22:22:25
In reply to Above for happy flower (nm), posted by crazy teresa on January 2, 2006, at 18:22:23
since I'm at no risk for throwing my nekkid self on HappyFlower's therapist.
Posted by LegWarmers on January 2, 2006, at 22:30:19
In reply to Re: Thinking about talking about the pink elephant » Tabitha, posted by crazy teresa on January 2, 2006, at 18:12:19
> You can do it and I doubt he'll terminate. He sounds like a reasonable guy.
>
> Now, if you can't stop yourself once you start and take off all your clothes and throw yourself on top of him, termination could happen. So keep your clothes on, girlie! ;~}Although...it might make for some intersting therapy with them off ;)
Posted by crushedout on January 2, 2006, at 22:31:19
In reply to Re: I figured that out » crazy teresa, posted by Tabitha on January 2, 2006, at 22:22:25
What are you hoping the result will be (if it's not too obvious already)? I only ask because I've been through a similar situation and I think it is important to think through what you're hoping to get out of it.
In any event, I agree with everyone else that it's a very good idea to bring this up, and I hope you can find the courage.
Posted by Dinah on January 2, 2006, at 23:34:25
In reply to Thinking about talking about the pink elephant, posted by happyflower on January 2, 2006, at 16:06:30
I think it's a good idea, especially since you're prepared for the fact that it might not go all that well. If a therapist can accept the feelings of a client towards them, it's such a wonderful chance for growth. Unfortunately, they aren't all trained in how to deal with it, and unfortunately clients have to pay for that at times. I hope your therapist is one who's well trained and supportive.
I really hope it goes well for you.
Posted by crushedout on January 3, 2006, at 0:27:39
In reply to Re: I figured that out » Tabitha, posted by crushedout on January 2, 2006, at 22:31:19
Posted by crazy teresa on January 3, 2006, at 1:10:30
In reply to Re: I figured that out » crazy teresa, posted by Tabitha on January 2, 2006, at 22:22:25
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 10:54:53
In reply to Re: Thinking about talking about the pink elephant » happyflower, posted by Dinah on January 2, 2006, at 23:34:25
Maybe he isn't in the office today, I could call and see. Normally he would have called me back by now, so I am feeling really nervous. Kinda like something bad is going to happen. :(
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 13:56:18
In reply to He hasn't called back yet, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 10:54:53
I called yesterday and left a message to see if he had an open appointment. (he wasn't in) Today is almost over and he hasn't called me back. So I called the office and he has been all day. Normally he calls me back in the morning before he see anyone. I left another message. I think he has officially had enough of me. This is killing me. I thought he said I didn't do anything wrong for his crappy mood last week, and now I am being ignored, so whats that about?
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 14:15:49
In reply to He hasn't called back yet, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 10:54:53
I called my T and left an another message. I told him to ignore my last two messages, I didn't want to see him this week and I told him to cancel my next week appointment since I can't make it anyways. I told him I give up, and just to leave me alone.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:30:29
In reply to I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 14:15:49
I refuse to go back and pay him for his bullsh#t. He can kiss my butt. I guess he got what he wanted, rid of me. I am done with therapy, I give up on life, life just sucks, the people that are suppose to help just p*ss on you instead. I hate him. I never want to see him again.
Posted by LegWarmers on January 3, 2006, at 15:32:26
In reply to I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 14:15:49
its possible his crappy mood has extended to this week. He might have had an emergency, I don't think he is ignoring you. Im sure he will call tomorrow. This probably has to do with him, not you. Dont give up just yet.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:35:47
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by LegWarmers on January 3, 2006, at 15:32:26
I have given up. I asked his secretary if he has been in, she said yes, and I asked all day?, she said yes. So he is ignoring me, I hate him.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:39:49
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:30:29
He had let me down again. He doesn't want to see me or talk to me. What a fake he is. I might as well quit the gym to, I don't want to see that jerk anymore.
Posted by LadyBug on January 3, 2006, at 16:01:03
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:39:49
I can see why you're pi**ed off! I would be too. But if you have just a bit more patience I bet he will call you back. Unless he's turned into a total jerko.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I get pretty nervous when I call and don't hear back from my T. She's done better about it. The times she never called me back are the times I would get mad,
then past mad, scared, and then back to mad.
So girl, I'm so sorry you are being put through this. He's going to get a piece of your mind one way or the other. Doesn't he get it? What you're going through???? Obviously not.
Dont give up! And let us know what happens next!
LadyBug
Posted by Damos on January 3, 2006, at 16:01:06
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:39:49
Don't know what to say Happy, and sorry just don't seem like enough. I'm just glad you're here posting with us.
(((((Happyflower)))))
Posted by LegWarmers on January 3, 2006, at 16:37:36
In reply to Re: I give up » LegWarmers, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:35:47
> I have given up. I asked his secretary if he has been in, she said yes, and I asked all day?, she said yes. So he is ignoring me, I hate him.
Im sorry Happy :( did you ask the secretary why he hasnt called or if she gave him the message?
Posted by annierose on January 3, 2006, at 16:41:12
In reply to I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 14:15:49
You sound very hurt. I normally don't like to make firm decisions when I'm so upset. It's the first day back to work for lots of people. And even if he did work last week, today just seems more "official" --- back to the office for good. The celebrations are over. I work in retail and today still seemed different for me, even though I worked right on through.
I had a ton of paperwork to complete. Phone calls to make, etc. etc. His day may have been jammed and he did plan to call you when he got caught up. Maybe he scheduled clients back to back with barely time for a potty break. I know you feel slighted, but now you asked him not to call you back. That puts him in a terrible position.
I hope he does call you despite your request to "forget it". You do want to talk to him.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 16:49:41
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by LegWarmers on January 3, 2006, at 16:37:36
>>
> Im sorry Happy :( did you ask the secretary why he hasnt called or if she gave him the message?
>The secretary just gives you over to voice mail, so she doesn't do much except answer the phone.So I know he was there all day and didn't want to call me back just to even tell me he is all full for the week, and can't work me in. I am just going to take my new sleeping pills and go to bed, I have had enough for one day.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 16:52:28
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by LadyBug on January 3, 2006, at 16:01:03
Thanks Ladybug, yes I am totally p*ssed off. There is no excuse not to call me. I called him yesterday and left the message. It is over, he is rid of me. I am not going back for more of this. I never knew a soulmate could be such a jerk.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 16:53:43
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by Damos on January 3, 2006, at 16:01:06
Thank you Damos, thats all I need right now is some support. I feel worse than I have ever felt in my entire life.
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