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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ghost on January 5, 2006, at 2:25:21
last night i couldn't resist the urge any more and i took a small handful of xanax. i just wanted to forget feelilng pain. (i didn't take many, just enough to knock me out and caust me to be 2.5 hrs late to work today.)
exgf's dad called yesterday. (this would be the ex i'm afraid is reading these posts, but opted to not car, so i'm talking about her, maybe she'll get the msg without me haivng to talk to her in person.) the gist of his message was that she got into a car wreck, was in the hospital, staying at a motel, her father found out where and got into the room, sorted through her crap, and found a suicide note. no one's heard from her since friday. but her once-full voicemail box is no longer full, so she must be alive, right?
i feel badly. i'm sorry her life sucks. i'm sorry she's too sick to realise she needs help. i'm sorry i couldn't be the one to help her. but for the love of pete, why can't they leave me out of this? it's certainly not like she talks to me. ever. he wants me to call her and get her to let people know she's alive.
i didn't repsond to his phone call, nor did i call her.
so if you're reading this, you might want to call your father and tell him youre alive because he's driving me to drink. and if you'r enot alive and really did manage to take your own life, i hope it was worth it to you, because you worried people sick.
part of me is sick in that i have this premonition that none of this is going to end well.. this has to end badly. i just don't foresee that sociopath getting the help she needs and sticking with a place of action. she's too good at manipulating people and the system.
of course the other part of me if she turns up dead, will never forgive myself.
but what the hell could i have done to fix things? i'm not magical.
i dropped myi telelphone in the toilet today. it doesn't work any more. yet anohter headache to deal wiht tomorrow. grrr.
(edit: i fell asleep writing this. i don't kjnow why or how, but o wokek up at 3:30am with my laptop in my lap an dno clue how/why i'm here. so i'll just post this now and hope for the best.)
*snore!*
Posted by fallsfall on January 5, 2006, at 7:54:30
In reply to likely trigger., posted by ghost on January 5, 2006, at 2:25:21
(((((Ghost)))))
Oh, sweetie.
You are not responsible for her life. She is. Please know that.
I think not calling her is a good decision. It doesn't sound like calling her would help any part of the situation (except to make her dad feel better). You are right that she needs to find help. I hope she does.
I'm worried about you taking too many Xanax. Can you call your therapist and get an earlier appointment? Please take care of yourself. You are precious to me.
Love,
Falls.
Posted by B2chica on January 5, 2006, at 10:14:47
In reply to likely trigger., posted by ghost on January 5, 2006, at 2:25:21
oh ((((((ghost))))))) please becareful with your meds. you've helped me when i wanted nothing but to down my meds. i understand just wanting to forget it all and fly away. next time maybe you can journal about it go to bed early, listen to music or meditate.
and i agree with falls, i'm glad you did not call. it's not up to you if she lives or dies. she's making decisions (right or wrong) they're her decisions. it's too bad her dad is worried. but if she's over 18 she doesn't have to report to her father, she could leave the country and not have to tell anyone. i hope she has the courtesy of calling her loved ones but again...not for you to worry about or decide.
it also sounds like a bit of manipulation on her part.i'm proud of you ghost...hang in there.
i'm here if you need my shoulder.b2c.
Posted by fairywings on January 5, 2006, at 14:01:53
In reply to likely trigger., posted by ghost on January 5, 2006, at 2:25:21
(((ghost)))
Getting enmeshed in her life any further sounds like it would be a horrible idea. Her father had no right to impose on you, and cause you to feel pain over something you have no control.
No one can be responsible for anothers feelings, thoughts, or actions. Please don't take too much of anything; it can be so dangerous. Although I do know how you feel.
fw
Posted by JenStar on January 5, 2006, at 14:06:33
In reply to likely trigger., posted by ghost on January 5, 2006, at 2:25:21
ghost,
I'm sorry things are so terrible right now, but please, taking extra Xanax is NOT the right way to deal with it! That can make you really sick, can damage your liver/internal organs, or even kill you. I'm worried about you.I understand that with all you have going on, there is no energy left to deal with the ex-gf and her father. Out of respect for him and his confidence/need to call you, could you call him back just once and let him know that you are not capable/able/willing/going to help in this situation?
Since he asked for help in a desperate wsituation, it seems only right at least to notify him that you just can't do it. Maybe suggest he call social services, police, etc? That would at least take some of the guilt off of you -- you'd at least KNOW he's not going to rely on you, b/c you told him you're not available to help.
You fell asleep b/c you took too much Xanax, and it's working out of your system. Ditto for why you dropped your phone into the toilet. Taking extra meds will only cause you grief and worry!
Please take care of yourself. People here care about you.
JenStar
Posted by muffled on January 5, 2006, at 23:52:00
In reply to likely trigger., posted by ghost on January 5, 2006, at 2:25:21
Yeah, I went thru having a friend go wrong, and trying to help, and finally realizing I just had to let go. Sucks ok.
Just how many xanax did you take?
If I take too many I get blackouts.
Esp. if I mix it w/pot.
I actually use klonopin now as the xanax wasn't really working. Klonopin works great.
Take care ghost.
Muffled
Posted by happyflower on January 6, 2006, at 15:11:37
In reply to Re: likely trigger. » ghost, posted by muffled on January 5, 2006, at 23:52:00
I am sorry you are going through so much pain. (((((ghost))))), please take care of yourself.
This is the end of the thread.
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