Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 645206

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therapy as trauma?

Posted by llrrrpp on May 17, 2006, at 15:42:59

I've been doing really well for a few days now. But I'm starting to feel really anxious and worried about going to see T. Is it possible that therapy is another source of trauma? If so, when/how can I recover from it. I don't feel well at all. It doesn't make sense. T is nice enough. I have good news this week, since I'm feeling better. What gives? Does this fear & anxiety go away? Am I scared of ME? or scared of THERAPY? or scared of the UnKnowN?

There is a baby elephant stepping on my chest right now. pressure and discomfort.

 

Re: therapy as trauma?

Posted by serena11 on May 17, 2006, at 18:01:31

In reply to therapy as trauma?, posted by llrrrpp on May 17, 2006, at 15:42:59

> I've been doing really well for a few days now. But I'm starting to feel really anxious and worried about going to see T. Is it possible that therapy is another source of trauma? If so, when/how can I recover from it. I don't feel well at all. It doesn't make sense. T is nice enough. I have good news this week, since I'm feeling better. What gives? Does this fear & anxiety go away? Am I scared of ME? or scared of THERAPY? or scared of the UnKnowN?
>
> There is a baby elephant stepping on my chest right now. pressure and discomfort.

I don't know what your issues are, but my experiences have been that therapy stirs up a lot of strong emotions and especially fears. For me, some of them have been like the rather benign "monster" under the bed in children's books; coming face to face with them helped defuse their strength. Then other fears have been genuinely horrific, with good reason, and took quite a lot of effort to experience. But all of them were real and came with the process of healing. Then there were all the ambivalent and extremely strong feelings towards therapists, which again are hard but maybe not "bad." I think there could be good reasons that you feel unsettled. At least for me, it was a part of dealing with feelings I had unconsciously stuffed for most of my life. It's hard when they leak out, but it can be a good sign. But baby elephants are fairly heavy, aren't they? Hopefully this one will go on a walk for a while....

 

Re: therapy as trauma?

Posted by Fall Girl on May 17, 2006, at 23:03:31

In reply to therapy as trauma?, posted by llrrrpp on May 17, 2006, at 15:42:59

I can relate to what you are saying! It is scary to trust a stranger with your "stuff": will they understand me? will they appreciate my "stuff"? will I be hurt yet again?

AND it is difficult to delve into your issues, much less with the pressure of trusting a stranger! What I have found is that if I trust MYSELF to set the pace, ask my therapist every question that comes up (why am I feeling this way/what do you mean when you say xxx), 99% of the time I come away with a more positive feeling; relief, gladness, calm, gratefulness.

It isn't easy, but I know you can do it, and your therapist will help you.

Keep us posted!

 

Re: therapy as trauma? » Fall Girl

Posted by llrrrpp on May 18, 2006, at 9:50:44

In reply to Re: therapy as trauma?, posted by Fall Girl on May 17, 2006, at 23:03:31

Hi all,
Well it went okay. I told T that coming to the session made me really nervous. We talked a little about some rather trivial stuff. He gave me some advice. Then I took a deep breath and went to a very scary place (deep in the innermost guiltiest part of my conscience). I was pretty talkative. I didn't freeze up, like I was worried I might when I was planning what to say and how to say it. I think it was a relief to get it out there. I was so ashamed of it, but to lay it out there, naked, for T and me to see, well, it took away a lot of power that this shame and guilt had over me. I think it also helped T figure out where I'm coming from. So, it was pretty intense, but I survived.

 

Re: therapy as trauma? » llrrrpp

Posted by B2chica on May 18, 2006, at 12:29:04

In reply to Re: therapy as trauma? » Fall Girl, posted by llrrrpp on May 18, 2006, at 9:50:44

That is Great llrrrpp!
it sounds like a successful session. i know there will be many more ahead. but this is great. you were able to get through it.
it must have been quite scary for you, but remember...we are here for you. and for next time in your session you can carry around my hug to you ((((((((llrrrpp)))))))))))
you shoulld be proud of yourself...i am!
b2c

> Hi all,
> Well it went okay. I told T that coming to the session made me really nervous. We talked a little about some rather trivial stuff. He gave me some advice. Then I took a deep breath and went to a very scary place (deep in the innermost guiltiest part of my conscience). I was pretty talkative. I didn't freeze up, like I was worried I might when I was planning what to say and how to say it. I think it was a relief to get it out there. I was so ashamed of it, but to lay it out there, naked, for T and me to see, well, it took away a lot of power that this shame and guilt had over me. I think it also helped T figure out where I'm coming from. So, it was pretty intense, but I survived.
>

 

Re: therapy as trauma?

Posted by Fall Girl on May 18, 2006, at 21:52:06

In reply to Re: therapy as trauma? » Fall Girl, posted by llrrrpp on May 18, 2006, at 9:50:44


I'm glad that you pushed through and feel good about it!


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