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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DannaB on January 21, 2007, at 15:46:07
If I'm making progress, how is it that I so often find myself in the same place? I've been in treatment for years and tried a number of medications...so why am I still depressed? I have a supportive and wonderful therapist...so why do I still have issues with neediness? I've changed the course of my life and gone back to school...so why do I often feel bored and empty?
Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2007, at 16:30:13
In reply to Frustrated, posted by DannaB on January 21, 2007, at 15:46:07
I was pondering the same questions, except that I really think that from the outside, I'm less functional now than I was at the beginning.
My own thoughts are that progress is rarely linear. And that partly that's part of the human condition.
Are your depressive dips as low as they used to be? Are you more aware of it when you're feeling needy? Are you more aware of ways that you react to feeling needy, and are you more able to react in ways that preserve your important relationships? When you feel empty and bored are you more aware of it than you used to be? Do you have a bigger arsenal of tactics to use when you're feeling that way?
Change is sometimes so incremental that we can't see it unless we look really closely.
It sounds like a good therapy topic though. Periodic appraisals can be an interesting exercise.
You know, when I'm around people who've had a fair amount of therapy, the thing I'm aware of isn't that they're necessarily more happy or necessarily more fulfilled. It's more that they seem to have more awareness and more tools. If that makes any sense?
Posted by DannaB on January 21, 2007, at 22:31:58
In reply to Re: Frustrated » DannaB, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2007, at 16:30:13
It's true in a way, I suppose, that things have improved. For instance, my funks are usually less deep and scary than before. I am still hard on myself, but I don't beat myself up like I used to. And...I'm much more forgiving of others and able to see them in a less "black or white" way.
But what I really want is to feel happy. Energized. Excited. I want to feel a zest for life. I want life to have meaning. I want a purpose. Instead, i just float along. There is no real purpose, goal, or love that drives me.
The only thing that would make me happy is being in a good relationship. I'm in one right now, but we are struggling to make it work and I don't know if he's as invested as I am (sigh). I need to find something else to give me fulfillment because one just can't count on a relationship.
Posted by Poet on January 22, 2007, at 11:01:02
In reply to Re: Frustrated, posted by DannaB on January 21, 2007, at 22:31:58
Hi DannaB,
I understand your frustration, I'm feeling it right now, too.
> It's true in a way, I suppose, that things have improved. For instance, my funks are usually less deep and scary than before. I am still hard on myself, but I don't beat myself up like I used to. And...I'm much more forgiving of others and able to see them in a less "black or white" way.
I beat myself up all the time, I think it's progress that you aren't doing it anymore.
>
> But what I really want is to feel happy. Energized. Excited. I want to feel a zest for life. I want life to have meaning. I want a purpose. Instead, i just float along. There is no real purpose, goal, or love that drives me.
>I can identify with this. I have convinced myself the key to happiness is career. Naturally, I am currently unemployed. My T tries hard to show me other things where I do succeed: I am doing good in school and water aerobics, but those things aren't a real purpose. Negative me says school won't lead to a job and water aerobics won't make me thin and happy. Gee, think I'm a bit negative today?
> The only thing that would make me happy is being in a good relationship. I'm in one right now, but we are struggling to make it work and I don't know if he's as invested as I am (sigh). I need to find something else to give me fulfillment because one just can't count on a relationship.This is very true, for me I have a relationship, but that darn career would make me happy.
I know I need to try to find happiness with school even though I know it won't get me the ultimate happiness. Maybe it's time I made a list of things that I do well and see how it goes.
Poet
This is the end of the thread.
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