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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Honore on January 12, 2007, at 11:52:11
I had a dream.
It had gotten into a cab. I wasn't going very far, although I don't remember telling the cab driver where to take me.. While the cab was moving, I guess I dozed off. When I woke up, I realized that the driver had been driving for a long time, and had diverted into a series of side streets, and now was on the West Side Highway, far beyond where I wanted to go. (Also, I was only going in the city, not on the highway.)
I was confused about where I had been going, because it seemed that my SigO might have given him directions, but I was pretty sure this was the wrong way. I said something to him about this not being where I wanted to go. He ignored me. I said it louder. But he kept driving. Then I said, "Let me out." When he didn't answer, I started to get upset and said, "Let me out now! "
At that point, I thought he might be going to take me to a deserted place and do something to me. I was trying to figure out if I could get out of the cab while it was moving, but it seemed dangerous. He got off the highway, and started driving into an unfamiliar area, where there were trees and woods, and a clearing. It seemed like a place where there was machinery, and maybe some workmen, in the day, but noone was around.
Then I was outside the cab. The driver was there, but I was running away from him. Maybe there was someone around, so he was following me, but not able to do anything.
I think I asked the person, who was a worker, to help me, but he didn't respond, so I ran down the path toward the main road. When I got there, it was getting dark. It was a place where there were people who seemed poor, and harsh. They were in pairs at first, then as I went on, there were individuals. At first I didn't notice, but then I realized it was in a place where people were used to violence and didn't care. As I went on, it got more deserted, and the buildings were larger and more impersonal.
In the cab, I had thought about trying to find my cell phone, but I didn't think I could. Then I forgot about it, I guess. It seemed more important to get away, than to take time to find the phone, and possibly let the cab driver catch up to me.
I asked various people to help me, but no one really looked at me. At first, I asked once and moved on, but eventually, with someone, I kept asking, but he sort of shrugged and maybe pointed down a street. I dont' think the cab driver was there anymore, but I still scared. I'm not sure what I was afraid of exactly, but I had the feeling that I was in a dangerous place. and that I might never be able to get back to where I lived.
I ran across a street, toward the edge of a lake. I realized the water was rising on both sides of where I was standing, in huge pools, and was cutting me off from the road, but I couldn't move quickly enough to get back. I tried again to find someone to help, but no one was close enough or coud hear me.
The water was around me, but not that deep (although I couldn't see how to get back). I felt as if there was no way out, even though the water wasn't deep. I felt as though I would just stay there and the water would get deeper and deeper. I saw a little girl playing near where I was. I had the feeling she wasn't human--she might have been a ghost an image (like from a poem) or some sort of unearthly being. She was used to the water, or it wasn't a problem for her. She was a little way off from me.
I think she told me to take her hand, but I couldnt' reach it. She held out her hand, but she was too far away. I felt as if I couldn't get through the water, but it seemed that I had to, to get to her.
The water wasn't deep. I'm not sure why it was dangerous to move, but it seemed that it was more dangerous to move than to stand still. I thought there were currents, or that if I moved it would suddenly flood and I'd be carried away. I was standing near a tree and this seemed more secure, like something to hold onto.
I think I knew if I stayed where I was, I would drown, but I was afraid to take the chance to move into the water. I wanted to get through the water, and yet it seemed as if I just didn't want to leave where I was. It felt like a memory of a place, and the place was being covered by water, but I didn't want to leave the place.
Honore
Posted by cubic_me on January 12, 2007, at 12:52:13
In reply to Dream, posted by Honore on January 12, 2007, at 11:52:11
Wow Honore, that sounds scary and draining.
I have no idea about dream interpretation, but it sounds like you felt trapped an no-one wanted to listen. Is that something you feel in part of your waking life too?
It sounds like a great dream to discuss with your T.
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2007, at 17:15:44
In reply to Dream, posted by Honore on January 12, 2007, at 11:52:11
Wow. I felt for you just reading the dream. Asking so hard for help, and being let down everywhere, and the only person who was trying to help you, you couldn't reach.
Any idea who the little girl might be?
Posted by bil on January 12, 2007, at 17:18:11
In reply to Dream, posted by Honore on January 12, 2007, at 11:52:11
Hello, Honore-
This is a really interesting dream- I've been facinated with dream interpretation for years...it's something I would like to study, if I could.Being in a car or something else like that, with someone else at the wheel is often your subconscious telling you that it feels out of control at the moment- not sure where things are taking you- and it feels dangerous... and that no one else seems to see or understand this, or that it's being ignored- all those people not listening to you, or helping you.
Carl Jung believed that a house was a representation of the self... maybe since the houses in your dream were buildings that you described as 'big and impersonal', perhaps you feel detached from yourself at the moment?
Water is closely connected to emotions and feelings, and you mentioned several times that the water was getting deeper... and possibly cutting you off from the road, so that this might mean that you fear dealing with certain emotional things right now might cut you off from making progress.
The child is quite a positive image, because they usually are linked to our inner child- you said she wasn't afraid of the water... so maybe your inner child is more accustomed or better at dealing with deep emotional issues. (I liked the way you said she was like 'something from a poem'... that was lovely!)
She wants to help- she holds out her hand, so even if you can't reach her yet she is willing. Maybe she shows that there is great potential for healing within yourself... she is there, even when no-one else is.
Sorry for waffling, but like I said- this is a topic I am really into. I've been reading a lot recently about shamanism, and how those societies honoured and respected dreams and the information they give... I think that's something that our culture has lost, because dreams can help with healing, (I believe so, anyway).
I find it helpful to keep a dream journal, so I can see when certain themes come up more than once. Water is a big reoccurring symbol for me.
Yeah, if your t is good at dealing with dreams, I think this would be a great one to discuss!
bil
Posted by Daisym on January 12, 2007, at 18:04:27
In reply to Re: Dream, posted by bil on January 12, 2007, at 17:18:11
One of the things I always note is the power of a dream to make you remember it. Those are the ones that really are trying to tell us in a less than subtle way. Given your current struggle in therapy, the cab could be therapy itself, taking you into places that feel scary and unsafe. You've said your therapist isn't particulary safe right now (I think that is correct - he yells?) so you are asking for help from folks who won't help you. This is especially poignant in the part where you see pairs -- and then you see only singles (lonliness?).
And not being able to move to save yourself, staying in the known danger, instead of the unknow, could also be in several places in this dream. You don't use your cell, you can't leave the tree...but the child felt safe, I think that is so interesting.
How did you wake up? Were you scared? Did you die in the dream? Or did you wake up before that, with no resolution.
Posted by Honore on January 13, 2007, at 10:56:16
In reply to Re: Dream, posted by cubic_me on January 12, 2007, at 12:52:13
Hi, cubic_me.
I do feel that way IRL, at least the trapped part. Sometimes, it feels as if no one can understand what I'm saying. I think it's because they see it from a point of view that doesn't include feeling so desperate and close to disintegration as I do. What I'm saying often doesn't seem real-- they just think I should be handling things in a way that would work better. They can't understand why I don't just do that.
I was thinking I should discuss it with my T, if I see him.
Thanks a lot for your thoughts.
Honore
Posted by Honore on January 13, 2007, at 11:06:52
In reply to Re: Dream » Honore, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2007, at 17:15:44
Hi, Dinah.
I think a lot of what's going on IRL, and in the dream, is about asking for help, or what kind of help you can ask for.
It's not really something the dream tells me much about, but it's probably one of the biggest issues between me and my T. Of course, including him, I suppose-- I don't really expect help from people. I tend to see people as kind of malevolent and vengeful, or harmful (not only to me, but as an attitude to people that they'll inflict on me), or incompetent or so indifferent that they just aren't paying enough attention to find whatever it is that I need.
And there's this profound mistrust or distrust and even anger that comes out of that belief-- even toward people I don't know-- more like an expectation that they'll fail to do the right thing-- or even to know, or be able to know. what the right thing is. I feel as if it's my fault, in a way-- that the right thing, for me, is always arcane or hard to find, and that no one is going to want to bother, or succeed.
And since I'm expecting them to do it wrong, I start with this kind of hopeless resentment of having to ask at all.
I think I don't really ask-- I mostly just end up really upset and angry-- at them and myself.
Not that that's in the dream, but it is such a huge huge block in my life from doing anything, literally anything.
I'm really feeling stuck about that.
Thanks for seeing that. I really hope you're okay.
{{{Dinah}}}
Honore
Posted by Honore on January 13, 2007, at 11:27:01
In reply to Re: Dream, posted by bil on January 12, 2007, at 17:18:11
Thanks so much, bil, for your comments.
I haven't been dreaming as much lately, maybe because I'm on an AD where I have to take so much stuff to get to sleep that I'm really out.
I've had lots of dreams about cars. Usually, I'm at the wheel, but the car is out of control. Even if the car isn't going that fast, the brakes never work. Those dreams are usually really exhausting, because I'm working so hard to push the brakes down so that the car will stop.
I also have dreams about floods-- usually much worse floods than the one in this one. So maybe that's a good sign? Usually the water is really fierce and it's overwhelming wherever I am-- often a house near the ocean. Or sometimes I'm on a very lonely, harsh, steep beach and the tide is coming in very fast and I don't think I'll make it up the hill fast enough. Those are very very frightening.
What you say brought to mind that when I said the girl was like an image from a poem, I was unconsciously thinking of my favorite poem, "Resolution and Independence" by Wordsworth. In the poem, the speaker goes on a walk and runs into an old man on a moor. (Wordsworth lived near the moors.) Anyway, it's a really great poem.
I think the girl is a hopeful image of some sort, but I don't know what sort. I've never had a girl in any of my dreams, though.
I'd be interested in hearing some of your dreams.
Honore
Posted by Honore on January 13, 2007, at 11:48:42
In reply to Re: Dream, posted by Daisym on January 12, 2007, at 18:04:27
Hi, Daisym.
I guess the cab might be like therapy. It certainly seemed that the dream was about my therapy, in some way. The strange part was falling asleep in the cab and waking up so far away from where I thought I was going. It could just be my life, rather than therapy-- not that I fell asleep, but that I'm certainly really far away from where I would have thought I was going.
You're right, though, the streets did get more deserted. It was as if I was in a neighborhood at the beginning, even if it was a rough neighborhood, and then I was in a part of a downtown where there are dark empty office buildings or parking garages and there was really no one there.
I thought the girl could save me-- I don't know why, she was really young-- and I don't feel terribly comfortable with children. Of course, she didn't really feel like a child. It's hard to say what she felt like. But I just felt I couldn't get to her, that I would be carried away by an undertow or strong current that I couldn't see, even though the water wasn't so deep.
I kind of knew that I could get to her-- I just didn't believe that I could-- it was like I didn't want to make the effort any more of believing in it enough to try, because (I guess) IRL, I can't sustain the belief, and I'm tired of fighting for it and losing it so many times.
I wasn't as frightened at the end of the dream as I often am, at the end of dreams. It was more as if there was some sort of stasis. Not that it could last forever-- really-- but as if I could just put off the decision. Probably it's somehow about that-- that I'm putting off something-- maybe not so much about my T, but about life. But I'm not sure I can ever stop putting it off-- and therefore I'm not sure I can ever be okay, ie do the internal things I'd have to do, to be okay.
I sort of have a feeling that maybe I could do them-- but then I guess it would be much harder than it seems, when it seems possible-- and the part that's the hardest is not letting myself fall apart-- having the stamina to keep going, rather than falling back into despair and futility, particularly when I already feel despairing and futile. I dont' know if I can do that. But it also seems that it's not just going to happen.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense.
Thanks a lot for thinking remembering me.
Honore
Posted by bil on January 14, 2007, at 14:57:50
In reply to Re: Dream, posted by Honore on January 13, 2007, at 11:27:01
Honore-
yeah, I've dreamt about floods before, too- one where the houses and trees were sticking out of the top of the water... another about a tsunami that I had triggered somehow! (That was a bad one).With me I'm not usually driving the car- someone else is... in fact had one night before last where my parents were dropping me off in the middle of a wooded area, and I was trying to get my stuff out from the back of the car before they drove away and left me there. (I mean, how Hansel and Gretal is that? LOL!)
In the back of my dream journal I've started keeping an index of themes that come up frequently, so now I can see how many times I've dreamt about water, cars, etc... it's really useful way to see often certain things show up over and over.
One good thing is that now; (even with a dream I don't feel comfortable with) is that I feel like I'm a bit closer to understanding it, since I'm listening to the sort of 'symbol language' my subconscious is trying to talk to me with...if that makes any sense??
bil
Posted by Honore on January 15, 2007, at 11:32:08
In reply to Re: Dream, posted by bil on January 14, 2007, at 14:57:50
That's really interesting, bil.
I've never had the patience to write my dreams down-- partly because they're usually really really long and convoluted. That one was a fairly simple, coherent dream, for me.
Also I don't feel so good about my dreams as I used to-- often they're really terrifying-- much more than this one-- or have elements that make me really uncomfortable to think about. And I haven't had so many recently.
I tend to think of the images as mostly having individual significances-- although things like floods do seem as if you're being overwhelmed--but *starting* the tsunami yourself-- wow-- that's so interesting.
And having your parents drive you to a place in the woods and not let you get your stuff out of the car (or seem like they might not)-- that really does say a lot.
That dream is almost the reverse of Hansel and Gretel, though-- because in H & G, the mother follows the breadcrumbs that they leave and saves them from the witch. So it seems more about kids wanting independence, and getting into danger-- and being made safe, so they can take a chance again. Ie, that their Mother is reliable enough to save them from dangers that they might get into. Of course, it also says that the world is pretty dangerous, too. (I've also read interpretations that say that the witch is the Mother, but a negative or bad or destroying Mother.)
I'd really love to hear more about your dreams, if you'd like to share any.
Honore
Posted by ShortElise on January 24, 2007, at 13:42:17
In reply to Dream, posted by Honore on January 12, 2007, at 11:52:11
Honore, I love dreams. They sometimes take me by the hand and lead me to things about myself about which I have been unaware.
When I feel they're trying to tell me something and I'm not getting what it is, I tell myself the dream in the present tense (I am in a cab, I'm not going far, the cab is moving, I wake up, I must have been asleep, etc.). I try to do this as soon after waking as I can. Actually, I write it down in the present tense. Including my feelings about everything - I feel surprised, frightened, etc. - at every turn. Writing the feelings is very important to me. I try to write as "stream of consciousness" as possible, not to search for words, but to let them come as they will.
So, I write the whole thing out. Then, I try to be the other people in my dream. For example: I am the cab driver. I have a woman in my cab. I am taking her where I want to go with her, not where she thinks she going. I feel ... She was sleeping, now she is awake and is yelling at me. I feel...
It's imperative to do this in the present tense. I have to be in the moment.
Then be the people in the street, be the little girl. (I like the little girl, and think she might be the child you were, reaching out to you.) I am a little girl, I am standing in the water, there is a woman in trouble, I want to help her but she has to come to me, I cannot cross the water. I feel... I want to help, I hold out my hand because...
Then be the water. I am dark, full of danger, I am...
You see?
You can be the cab, the streets, the city, the country, the woods, the path... and all of the people. Nothing is by accident in a dream, and we might find what our symbols are by exploring in this way.
This is, to me, interesting. And I learn from it. Others might find it less helpful.
ShortE
Posted by ShortElise on January 25, 2007, at 22:29:03
In reply to Dream, posted by Honore on January 12, 2007, at 11:52:11
I'd be really interested to hear what you thought of what I wrote. THanks
This is the end of the thread.
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