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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on March 20, 2007, at 6:14:59
I am different person now, I am not shy reserved or scared of people. I think I am so happy when I am in school and out in the public away from my husband, that I am "taking in life" becoming zealous and giddy.
I might be even turning into such a flirt too, something I never was bold enough to do before. I am talking in class expressing myself about issues. The old me would have not even gone to class let alone take a chance and say anything.
People tell me I am "fun" and "outspoken". me? since when? Since when did I have this self confidence? When I fell on my butt in school a vey months ago and all I could do was laugh my *ss off because I thought it was funny, well maybe 2 years ago I would have died from embarrassment, left and went home.
Two years ago I wouldn't of met up with Babblers at the last minute and especially wouldn't of stayed overnight with one of them no matter how nice they seem. I had fun that night because I took a chance.
I guess I am just not used to the new me, and when people say how outgoing and fun to be around I think they can't be talking about me. I told my T that he turned me into a unstopable monester. Is this what life is suppose to be about? Having fun? with people? who knew? This is going to take time getting used to.
Posted by gazo on March 20, 2007, at 9:13:48
In reply to I think therapy has made me come out of my shell, posted by Happyflower on March 20, 2007, at 6:14:59
Enjoy it. Life is all about experiences, what else do we really ever have? Take in whatever good you find.
It has been my experience, before events went wrong, that the unconditional acceptance you get from therapy can be very freeing. There is a euphoria. It won't stay so intense, but you can grow it so that it is something lasting. It sounds like you work well with your T.
The thing you said which caught my eye was that you are this way when away from your husband... which implies you are something else when with him. I hope you address this with your T.
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 20, 2007, at 11:43:06
In reply to I think therapy has made me come out of my shell, posted by Happyflower on March 20, 2007, at 6:14:59
Posted by antigua on March 20, 2007, at 15:19:21
In reply to I think therapy has made me come out of my shell, posted by Happyflower on March 20, 2007, at 6:14:59
I think you're right--you're not only out of your shell, but you're soaring!
best,
antigua
Posted by madeline on March 20, 2007, at 16:21:58
In reply to I think therapy has made me come out of my shell, posted by Happyflower on March 20, 2007, at 6:14:59
I think that is great HF! Being is school is such a people rich environment and a great place to stretch your new wings from therapy.
I wish I had a magic wand that could fix your husband. Sigh. I don't.
But I can almost feel the joy in your post! I am so happy for you!
Maddie
Posted by Scentedgarden on March 20, 2007, at 18:41:14
In reply to I think therapy has made me come out of my shell, posted by Happyflower on March 20, 2007, at 6:14:59
>
> I guess I am just not used to the new me, and when people say how outgoing and fun to be around I think they can't be talking about me.
***Believe it they ARE talking bout you...and your very caring too!!!!I told my T that he turned me into a unstopable monester.
***What did he say...?
Is this what life is suppose to be about?*** I guess so... your way of expressing it though is so clear and simple i love it..!!!
Having fun?
**Hurray!!!
with people?
** Yes please i want people now too since therapy opened me up to the joys of being with someone (J) my T who doesnt abuse me...
who knew?
**This just cracks me up...hahaha with respect sounds like something Homer Simpsone Or I would say..and i just adore you for saying it so delightfully well..!
This is going to take time getting used to.
** in the words of th great Louis Armstrong ...' We have all..the time in the world...da da da da da .... only love.....' sing it Louis!!! lol
your dear friend
i hope
sg
Posted by LadyBug on March 20, 2007, at 19:05:19
In reply to I think therapy has made me come out of my shell, posted by Happyflower on March 20, 2007, at 6:14:59
I hope your good thoughts continue! I'm so excited for you! I know how much therapy helps even though it hurts and it's so hard!!!!
Job well done!!! Keep it up! You are awesome!
LadyBug
Posted by Happyflower on March 22, 2007, at 4:52:42
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me )) happyflower, posted by gazo on March 20, 2007, at 9:13:48
Hi gazo and welcome to Babble!
My T is very accepting but I wouldn't say unconditional though. If I am being mean or irrational, or talking over generalizations, he will call me on it and let me know. But yet I as very challenging torwards him and he accepted the challenge. He told me that I keep him on his toes especially in the beginning, but yet it was okay with him because he saw a lot of change in me and not only did I challenge him , I was also challenging myself.You did notice what I said about my DH, and yes there are problems which have been addressed in therapy a lot. I have made a lot of decisions (a lot are in the archives of this site)that talk about it all. (i wouldn't want to burden a newbie with all of that at once, lol)
Well anyways I am in the beginning phases of termination, which is bittersweet for me because of what I feel for my T (not so much leaving therapy). (which is also in the archives,lol) But believe me, you will learn all of our stories in time, there is a lot one can learn through babble. ;-)
Posted by Happyflower on March 22, 2007, at 4:53:26
In reply to :-) :-) :-) :-) (nm) » Happyflower, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 20, 2007, at 11:43:06
Posted by Happyflower on March 22, 2007, at 4:54:49
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me come out of my shell, posted by antigua on March 20, 2007, at 15:19:21
Hi antigua!
okay you are making me blush, but thanks for your so kind words, it is making me grin!
Posted by Happyflower on March 22, 2007, at 4:58:38
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me come out of my shell » Happyflower, posted by madeline on March 20, 2007, at 16:21:58
HI Maddie,
Yeah, I guess I do feel a lot of joy lately, so it must be coming through my posts.
I wish I had a magic wand too, but it would have to be a big one to fix my marriage. I have no hope for my marriage, but I do have hope for the partnership we have to raise our kids.
As for school, I am having the time of my life! While being stressful, with tests and all, I am so excited to be there and so grateful. Thanks for your support ! ;-)
Posted by Happyflower on March 22, 2007, at 5:03:51
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me come out of my shell, posted by Scentedgarden on March 20, 2007, at 18:41:14
Hi SG,
Your response made me laugh outloud and everything. I love the ole' Armstrong when he plays the trumpet but I really love his singing!
What did my T say in response to "he turned me into a nonstopable monester"? Well I also said what was he going to do with me now? He said I wasn't his responsiblity, jokely. It was as I was walking out the door, so it was all in fun.
Thanks for your support SG! ;-)
Posted by Happyflower on March 22, 2007, at 5:05:48
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me come out of my she » Happyflower, posted by LadyBug on March 20, 2007, at 19:05:19
Hi Ladybug,
I hope the good feeling lasts too. I know I am the happiest I have even been in my life, so that is a start I suppose. ;-)
Thanks for your kinds words, you can hang out on my pedals anytime! :-)
Posted by gazo on March 22, 2007, at 12:49:00
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me )) happyflower » gazo, posted by Happyflower on March 22, 2007, at 4:52:42
I am glad that you are facing it all with such a brave face. I wasn't trying to pry or anything :) This site is wonderfully supportive but I am finding it a bit confusing still.. it doesn't work quite like other types of boards I have seen. I tried to find stuff in the archives but gave up. SOmetimes I am dense :o
how did you come to the conclusion that therapy should terminate?
Posted by Happyflower on March 22, 2007, at 18:10:02
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me )) happyflower » Happyflower, posted by gazo on March 22, 2007, at 12:49:00
Hi gazo,
You are welcome to ask me anything you like, I don't see it as prying! ;-)
It is a long story, but I mainly come to therapy because I was suffering from PTSD that was trigged by a current event that triggered my past childhood abuse. Some of the stuff I repressed as a child, but it did come out first, by EMDR,(uncommon) and 2nd some accidents I had over the past year. My T and I went through every negative thing that happened to me as a child up to now. It took a long time to completely trust him, but eventually I did .
Then I started to have marriage problems, mainly my husband was having an affair and refused to talk about it or do anything about it. Well then therapy focused a lot on my marriage problems with the other stuff in between.
Well I started to fill my life with prior stuff I used to do 20 years ago, since I had a huge void due to my marriage. I am now playing in an orchestra and I am attending college making friends and getting so far a 4.0. My life is happier than it has ever been, even with my marriage problems. It is kinda hard to believe but it is true. I am truely a changed person.
Now I still have stuff to work on (just like everyone else), but it is "manageable" problems that I can take care of myself. So I don't really need therapy anymore, but I do have a special relationship with my T, and I am not sure where it will lead (if anywhere). But mainly termination is my biggest problem because I am unsure after it is over what will come of our relationship. We do have an amazing connection and are both attracted to each other but that might be all there will ever be. Most of my stuff is in the archives if you search under happyflower, up to 1 1/2 years ago and my life saga it there. I am not sure I even want to read the stuff I wrote! LOL Well let me know if there is something you want to know.
Posted by gazo on March 24, 2007, at 15:45:57
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me )) happyflower » Happyflower, posted by gazo on March 22, 2007, at 12:49:00
good for you to be doing so well!
i am boggled by the thoughts of termination.. can't imagine doing it willingly. i suppose though that is because i am being forced into it now.
who brought it up? terminating i mean.. i would be crushed if my T looked at me and said he thought i should stop coming... what am i saying? i'm crushed now.
how long do you think the termination stage will last?
Posted by Happyflower on March 26, 2007, at 2:26:02
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me )) happyflower » gazo, posted by gazo on March 24, 2007, at 15:45:57
Hi Gazo,
I pretty much said I wanted to stop at the end of last year and he agreed I was ready. Then a lot of stuff happened at the end of the year, so we agreed to do termination gradually over this year. So I guess a year if I want it. I have a feeling I might stop before the year is up though. Thanks for asking. ;-)
Posted by gazo on March 26, 2007, at 21:06:52
In reply to Re: I think therapy has made me )) happyflower » gazo, posted by Happyflower on March 26, 2007, at 2:26:02
that sounds reasonable if it feels ok with you. I am very nervous about things like that anyway. I always feel like people don't want me around. My T mentioned today that in figuring out what I want from therapy we should determine some "outcome markers" and we should be careful of me becoming dependent. Even just that has me very worried. Like he wants me out of there or that he won't be there for me.
i am very pleased for you that therapy seems to have helped you so much.
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