![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 12:02:44
**OK.
This I wrote.
ROFL. This is a new form of SI.
HA.
So there, I kinda missed seeing you too also on Tues.
UGH. YUK.
Now the ultimate torture.
I’ll fax it. Ha.
Then it’ll sit there, and I’ll know its sitting there until you get back.
Ha.
Twist on stuff eh?
Ya know what?
I wanna get high.
High as the sky.
Fly.
And for awhile
Not be here.
Be up in the clouds, where its quiet.
And the noise in my head and the worm in my gut
Will go away
For awhile.
It used to come back, the worm, and chew dble time when I was drinking….
Sucked.
No xanax then. I used to just curl up and wait it out. Torment. What an appropriate word.
I don’t have SII(Self Injury Ideation) so much now. Now I just want to get altered by drugs or alcohol.
Get away from my own self.
Seems I ought to be able to just BE another self, but I guess not. I am just me and that’s good.
Normal.
Ha.
Only SII I have at the moment is re: them taking care of my injury and fixing me up. That’s nice. Makes me feel cared for. Only prob is, is that in reality, I dissoc to SI, and then don’t actually remember much…so guess that’s not worth much. Waste of time. Ha, I using my brain.So w/T, like, we done right?
Nothing more to do right?
Is this a consensus of opinion?
Cuz I don’t think there’s any more I can do or say.
Despite all the weird emotion stuff, I not do bad SI no more.
Get lotsa SII at times, but don’t act on it.
Wanto to run, but can’t cuza kids. So I covered.
Only disturbing thing is this wanting to drink.
But reckon that’s a demon I just goto wrassel alone, noone else can do it for me. I either win or lose. Just hope I don’t hurt the kids is all…
I spose I proly wasn’t supposed to have been born or something.
Why? Cuz its just hard. Living can be so hard. Day to day, minute to minute, haunted, hunted, confused, fighting. Inside is a putrid cesspool of sick emotions, thots.
I know its not all the time this bad. Just sometimes. Like now.
But even when things is good, sometimes I get a shot of the bad, and that sucks.
Its like I goto be perpetually prepared for an ugly slam, cuz I just never know where it might come from.
That’s the hunted.
Haunted is the not knowing what I supposed to know. And its all about nothing, but it haunts me anyways. Haunted by NOTHING. Like some kinda big joke. Haunted by not knowing. There’s something sad bout that. But if they won’t tell me, I can’t know. Its all just a big blank. And that in of itself is disturbing. Hate it.
Confused. Confused by the multitude of thots that crash and bash in my head, sometimes its just a cacophony and I can make little, or NO sense of it. It clutters my brain, makes it hard to think at all, and it tires and depresses me after a time. I can’t get stuff done. I get paralysed.
Fighting, fighting the bad thots, so many bad thots against my own self, bad thots about the world, bout danger and sick things, worry. Disgust that I notice ‘stuff’ that proly others don’t notice, but I do and worry that others might get triggered by these things I see and hurt a loved one. And WHY sick dog that I am, do I even notice???? Why does it smack me with fear and worry? I am to the point where I don’t think there’s nothing in my history that’s bad, or I’d remember, I got a bad memory, but I‘d remember bad stuff. So that just makes ME gross and disgusting that I worry bout this stuff. Sick dog am I. No excuses.
And sex. What of that? I honestly have never thot of it as except mating really. Or something that ends up hurting people one way or another. Getting yer rocks off. Oh yeah, I’ve had the hots B4 sure, but it was more about consuming the other person involved than about connecting or something. Even at that, even though mebbe some of me was getting off some, there was a part that just wanted to get it over with asap. Pleasure and horror battling in the field. Trying so hard to do the right thing, to be normal, while at the same time trying to focus AT ALL over the screaming in my head. I feel pretty darn bad for hubby, cuz it would seem its some kinda big deal for some? I don’t think its super huge for him, but there’s times I think…
Its like a big cosmic joke that sex is such a big deal. Its so GROSS when you get down to it really. It involves the areas for WASTE disposal, how gross is that? What does that tell ya? And just yucky sick stuff that comes out, ugh. And its not like its nice, it stinks, its horribly salty, and sticky, and hot and GROSS. And physically, there’s force, invasion, how can that be a good thing? So that’s why I just given up, cuz I feel like a ho if I try and get it on. Cuz its all a fake lie. I oftentimes gets scared and sick and frozen, and its just so much work to try and get past that, to the point I can at least pretend its OK. If I can dissoc enuf to let it go on, then sometimes it takes days to undissoc, it messes me bad sometimes. Its not always been like that I don‘t think?, but esp once I had kids. I not sure specifically how it was B4 kids, I don’t remember for sure, but the going not quite all the way was ok. Its when I go all the way that the trouble starts. Though now just bout anything causes trouble now, cuz I know whats coming. Invasion.
I guess I wonder, does it matter? Is there anything wrong with just NOT doing it? Am I being excessively cruel and selfish?
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
Its really bout my skin. Its on my skin.
The grossness.
And the eyes. Dead eyes.
Nausea.
Terror.
So I goto accept that kid feels this. Mebbe it was a hospital thing, but don’t matter, not really. Just got to accept that that kid was scared bad. That she felt sick and revolted. That she somehow feels tainted by badness. So anyhow, I guess we got to SOMEhow communicate to that kid, in a way she can understand, that she IS safe now. That we believe her, bout what she feels, but all that bad stuff she thinks bout herself is mostly lies. That she is OF us, and we ok, so she is too. Mebbe we somehow have to let her, God, this is SO against our ways…but allow her to connect w/someone, even if it makes us feel like complete and utter idiots. Even if protection gets mad, we just have to go on and let her. Even if we can feel we going away, we STILL got to let her. And even if she wants to have disallowed emotions for herownself, we STILL goto let her.
Pretty tall order.
I don’t honestly know that we can do that…
But if we could…
Mebbe she wouldn’t feel so bad no more…
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
So I been thinking and thinking. What is it I want/need/useful etc in T? I hadn’t never really given it a whole lot of analytical thot particularly, cuz I dunno much bout T in general, but I am learning fast. Guess I was just being lazy and expecting T to figger it all for me. So another thot I had is reflecting. I was thinking as how I gave T my writings and WHY? And I figgered its cuz I wanted her to know who I was, cuz I couldn’t tell her, cuz I DON”T KNOW. That’s the thing of it. I write and write, and read my writings ad nauseum. Literally over and over and over, trying to understand. I think its all a part of me trying to figger out who I am. See, most people have their memories of their FOO etc. I think it has a bearing on their sense of self, this history. I do not have this. So I think that’s goto do with me not knowing who I am. Its just a big empty space. So I guess w/T, I would like LOTS of reflecting as to how I come across, good and bad. Cuz I can’t seem to figger it. Dunno if I ever can even w/reflecting, I dunno. Confusing.
And I noticed upon reading that fax that there seemed to be a lot bout repetition. That stuff just does not easily sink in. Its like I goto chew it and chew it, and eventually, I can swallow it. I wonder if I had a more serious head injury when I fell down the stairs that time…
So its hard to be who you are, be yourself, when you don’t even know what that is…
Guess its made all the more difficult w/my ego states messing w/me too…
(((((((((((((((((((((((((
Its sorta like SI was before, the inevitability. Being in an altered state appeals. Drunk. I goto run, but I need to think on this thot too. Mebbe do one of the question and answer things.
**OK WHY do you wanto drink?
-Cuz I feel lost.
**And so what would drink do?
-I dunno, just mebbe make me feel……I dunno really, but different, I just want to feel different, I don’t feel right somehow.
**It will make you feel right?
I just was thinking mebbe this is coming from a certain part of me. I think there is a part of me that’s rather self destructive. (if T ever reads this she gonna laugh).
**Well really. She should laugh. You spent a large part of your life trying to self destruct. Any ideas why this is so?
-Well, first thot that comes to mind is that mebbe I trying to kill a bad part of me. Or mebbe the part of me that hurts so bad, mebbe it drives the self destruct. Or mebbe I just think I too gross to live? Or mebbe I just too lazy, so I just wanto give up? Or mebbe its punish, cuz I bad? Mebbe some of all.
**Does any one really ring more w/you?
-I think I just running, running from the ‘bad’. And hilariously enuf, I dunno even what it IS??? Spent my whole life running and self destructing over a big NOTHING. Mebbe I just too ridiculous to live…
-Whoah, brain flash, re: drinking, just had a thot, mebbe its cuz w/T I have buried some of the bad parts of me, and they don’t like that, and so they want me to drink, so they can be around more, and hurt me more, cuz I been getting it way too easy…I should hurt.
**Well that seems another topic for another day. Another one was we never did persue why kid is scared…Well computer gonna die. Off to bed w/us.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
After reading this fax? So you come to your session, and what happens?
For me it would proly run like this:*First she would ask me how my week has been, and is there anything in particular do I want to talk about.
(I'm so nervous that I dunno what to say really)
*then she'll say this or that, then she tries to 'set an agenda'.She always asks me but I don't usu know what to say. Sometimes I'll come up w/something and blurt it out. Sometimes she has stuff she wants to talk bout to me, and usu one of the points is to go thru fax.
*So upon reading fax(she will usu read it aloud, I always get too nervous to read it myself aloud) she would proly say something about how it was OK that I missed her and that she missed me too. All the time she tries to get me to say stuff by asking questions here and there. I don't talk much. I must be an exhausting client :-(
*she might ask if I SI this week. She might or might not beleive me. If she sees an obvo injury thats visible, she often will ask about it.
*she might ask me bout what the ikid said, but at this point I would dissoc out and protection would likely kick in and T tends to back off when I show distress. So when I distressed, bless T's heart, T tries to find a tack that seems useful to talk about,where she can do the 'teaching/illuminating/CBT type stuff'
So that lets me off the hook of communicating whats going on, cuz I CAN'T at that point, but I wonder if I could somehow given the right opportunity, though what that might be I DO NOT know. And by then I getting tired, zoned, frustrated, and its getting to be closer to the end of the session and so really neither one of us wants to do anything but try and brin g me back from wherever it is I go.
*and that would be it, there would be no time to look at anything else in the fax. And next week there will be a new fax, with new stuff, and old fax is forgotten.
Sigh........................
This is a typical example of a session for me. We have been doing them outside in the nice weather which is really nice cuz I don't feel so trapped, and there's stuff to look at and distract me.
So I dunno how T sees sessions? or what her fears might be? or what she thinks of me REALLY (I ask but she invariably just says nice things.....)
I tell her to push me, and she sorta does, she'll call me out when I quickly say 'I dunno', she'll say 'I think you DO know...', that sorta thing, but she don't do it much...
I end up stuck in confusion, and she ends up talking away to try and make me feel better or to bring me back.
So we seem stuck in this cycle....and its very frustrating, proly for her too. She is very eithical and careful, and won't continue T if she feels its doing no good. So we do look at what I have accomplished now and then, and she will
directly ask now and trhen if I think I am getting anything from T.I don't think she will ever 'dump' me, unless I did something pretty darn bad, cuz she knows thats a big bad thing to me. So I think she is trying to let me break free, rather than her doing it. She is SO nice.
So I don't really know how we could do things differently? If I would ever be able to have kid speak. You babblers who have allowed yourself to attach and be needy and to ask for what you need etc, you guys have my utmost admiration.
So this is LONG, but I would love to hear how others T's would approach a session, and I am always open to hear stuff.And I thot this could be possibly helpful to others. So if you have any questions, just ask, s'ok.
Thanks for any input.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 12:04:47
In reply to OK, here is a sample....what would YOUR T say/do?, posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 12:02:44
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 12:19:23
In reply to sorry, there may be some sex type TRIGGERS above (nm), posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 12:04:47
What it is, is it STARTS with a sample of fax I would send to T.
THEN I pick apart a session from MY POV, I dunno how T sees it.
It just seemed kinda confusing when I re read it.
I was awful nervous bout posting it.
I feel kinda stupid.
Anyhow.
M
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2007, at 13:28:35
In reply to If the above post is unclear, and sorry its LONG, posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 12:19:23
Please don't feel stupid. You aren't stupid!
If these things were clear, therapy wouldn't be useful.
It sounds like you're looking more for answers from your therapist?
It drove me crazy that my therapist often didn't know as much as I did about what was going on, much less more. I wanted him to know and understand what I didn't. I wanted someone who could fix things.
And he doesn't know, and he can't fix.
Sometimes I read about other people's therapists and it sounds as if their therapists *do* know.
I don't know. Eventually I think my therapist provided a safe space for me to think about things, and a companion along the way.
I don't think I know anymore if that's enough. At least not in an abstract theoretical sort of way.
What would my therapist do? He'd try to figure out what I was saying. He would try to figure out what it meant to me. And he'd figure it out by having me explain it often enough that it became clear to both of us.
If that makes sense.
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 14:02:36
In reply to Re: If the above post is unclear, and sorry its LO » muffled, posted by Dinah on July 24, 2007, at 13:28:35
> Please don't feel stupid. You aren't stupid!
>
> If these things were clear, therapy wouldn't be useful.
>
> It sounds like you're looking more for answers from your therapist?
>
> It drove me crazy that my therapist often didn't know as much as I did about what was going on, much less more. I wanted him to know and understand what I didn't. I wanted someone who could fix things.
>
> And he doesn't know, and he can't fix.
>
> Sometimes I read about other people's therapists and it sounds as if their therapists *do* know.
>
> I don't know. Eventually I think my therapist provided a safe space for me to think about things, and a companion along the way.
>
> I don't think I know anymore if that's enough. At least not in an abstract theoretical sort of way.
>
> What would my therapist do? He'd try to figure out what I was saying. He would try to figure out what it meant to me. And he'd figure it out by having me explain it often enough that it became clear to both of us.
>
> If that makes sense.**yeah, that makes sense Dinah, thank you.
And does he ask you lots of questions to find this out, or do you just ramble?
Does he actually help in some way?
It sounds as if you have a similiar struggle to me:-(
Thanks for replying.
(((Dinah)))
Muffled
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2007, at 16:58:39
In reply to Re: If the above post is unclear, and sorry its LO » Dinah, posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 14:02:36
Sometimes he does. The other day he phrased something in a way that made me see something in a whole new way, and pretty much did away with an issue I've been struggling with for years (and it was sex, so no easy issue). Not bad for one session.
And I guess in a subtle way he does that all the time. He rephrases what I say with subtle differences so that in time, I come to see them differently. It's not an ah-hah type thing. More that I'll find myself saying something, and realize that I see it the way I see it because I've picked it up from him over a long period of time.
Definitely not ah-hah. More of a chuckle as I realize that something I would have rejected outright if he'd presented it as a change I needed to make got subtly incorporated into the way I think.
I think... I think for me that that's a good way of going about it. To some extent, he forces me to do the work, with him there to very subtly guide my conclusions, or to curb me if I go far astray.
It's not like in the movies, that's for sure. A huge insight, a rush of tears, and all fixed.
But I was saying to him today that I think I'm gaining some wisdom and clarity (in some areas of my life at least) that seem to have come on all at once, but that no doubt have been building up for some time.
I'm not sure I like that. I've lost something to gain that.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 24, 2007, at 17:14:01
In reply to Re: If the above post is unclear, and sorry its LO » muffled, posted by Dinah on July 24, 2007, at 16:58:39
Sorry muffled, I'm going to quote you
"
I just was thinking mebbe this is coming from a certain part of me. I think there is a part of me that’s rather self destructive. (if T ever reads this she gonna laugh).
**Well really. She should laugh. You spent a large part of your life trying to self destruct. Any ideas why this is so?
-Well, first thot that comes to mind is that mebbe I trying to kill a bad part of me. Or mebbe the part of me that hurts so bad, mebbe it drives the self destruct. Or mebbe I just think I too gross to live? Or mebbe I just too lazy, so I just wanto give up? Or mebbe its punish, cuz I bad? Mebbe some of all.
"Did you know this stuff when you started T several years ago? I bet you HAVE learned a lot about yourself. I think what Dinah says, about having a companion along is really important. It means that there is someone you can count on to be there in the really really dark moments. The moments of shame when you know you've messed up. Someone who won't be repulsed by self-destructiveness.
I have this feeling that you have learned a lot about the process of self-discovery during therapy. I know that what you share with me has helped me understand myself a lot, so thank your therapist for me, okay?
I want to drink too when I'm in a bad place. I cannot tell you how many of your lines resonated with me. The disgust of looking at pristine flesh when all I feel is rot. The shame of looking at the scars and the cuts and knowing that there was a choice and I made the wrong one. The silent suffering. Will I have the guts to tell my T on friday? I feel even more shame that they are so superficial.
So much dirt.
Wanting more memories must be very difficult. I have some memories, and some of them are very ugly. I also have some blanks. Times and people are reversed, but the feeling of life-threatening terror is there. It stays with you- that feeling of having to watch, constantly.
you are a good mom, better than a "good" mom, actually. You have taken a big step towards being PRESENT for them. Judging by your responses to my woes, I know that you are good at recognizing the big troubles from the daily struggles.I know that you have a big bag of tricks you use to soothe and calm others. You are very blessed in many ways. You share your blessings and caring and kindness with others too. You are definitely not a black hole where all goodness of the world gets sucked in and disappears into a quagmire of loathesome sludge. You may FEEL tainted sometimes, but you are who you are- look at the people you surround yourself with. Would they choose to be with someone who is tainted?
Therapy is so hard. you've got to take a big breath sometimes and dig in and really ask your T about specific parts of your faxes- what does ___mean? How come I feel that way? Is this normal? How can I work on this? It's okay to want more answers, but inevitably the mind is a mystery. the more clues you find, the deeper the mystery grows. But the clues in themselves can be satisfying and fulfilling.
your friend,
-Ll
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 24, 2007, at 18:43:37
In reply to OK, here is a sample....what would YOUR T say/do?, posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 12:02:44
Hi, Muffled. It's hard for me to read your post (our experiences are too similar, I think), but I think you're very brave.
I hope you figure it out with your T or another one.
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 22:21:22
In reply to Re: If the above post is unclear, and sorry its LO » muffled, posted by Dinah on July 24, 2007, at 16:58:39
Thanks for your replies Dinah. Haven't seen you around as much. Hope things are OK.
Its seems you struggle with the whole T thing too....
Its hard.
I think I could use T, but I can't really afford it unless we can move faster...sigh.
Its a double edged sword...
Keep well Dinah, kinda miss seeing you around all right.
I like the way you write kinda calm and practicle and thotful.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 22:40:25
In reply to si triggers. compliment triggers, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 24, 2007, at 17:14:01
> Sorry muffled, I'm going to quote you
**LOL!!! Quote away girl!
>> I just was thinking mebbe this is coming from a certain part of me.
> Did you know this stuff when you started T several years ago? I bet you HAVE learned a lot about yourself. I think what Dinah says, about having a companion along is really important. It means that there is someone you can count on to be there in the really really dark moments. The moments of shame when you know you've messed up. Someone who won't be repulsed by self-destructiveness.
**I have learned lots its true, I don't refute that...mebbe more than I realized!
Sigh, but my T isn't there in my dark moments, I been feeling bad, but no T.......she is dead to me, she doesn't exist, I could sever an arm and she would not come...cuz she wouldn't know, cuz she is GONE. She just a sometimes person that is there. And its hard, cuz she knows stuff bout me that noone else knows, and she don'r SEEM repulsed, but she NOT HERE. And I hurt and she not here.
OK Tantrum over...
> I have this feeling that you have learned a lot about the process of self-discovery during therapy. I know that what you share with me has helped me understand myself a lot, so thank your therapist for me, okay?**OK I thank her. Ohhhh, I help YOU? Well YOU help me too! Lots. AAaaaaaccckkk, compliment ALERT!
> I want to drink too when I'm in a bad place. I cannot tell you how many of your lines resonated with me. The disgust of looking at pristine flesh when all I feel is rot. The shame of looking at the scars and the cuts and knowing that there was a choice and I made the wrong one. The silent suffering. Will I have the guts to tell my T on friday? I feel even more shame that they are so superficial.**I hope you can tell T, so he can see whole picture...
Superficial is GOOD. If it gets the job done, its good to be superficial, beleive me I done worse and I feel WAY worse bout the bad ones...
Sorry you resonate w/me :-(
Hope my posts don't hurt you :-(> So much dirt.
**ya :-(
> Wanting more memories must be very difficult. I have some memories, and some of them are very ugly. I also have some blanks. Times and people are reversed, but the feeling of life-threatening terror is there. It stays with you- that feeling of having to watch, constantly.**ya I just get the feelings only...its not very nice. Thats why I do NOT wanto remember, but to remember nothing is bad too, and getting scared when I do try and remember is bad too.
> you are a good mom, better than a "good" mom, actually. You have taken a big step towards being PRESENT for them.**This is only reason I do T. To be OK for my kids. I am SO GLAD you reminded me of this. Cuz I not so present. Iam off and on. I am not consistant :-(
>Judging by your responses to my woes, I know that you are good at recognizing the big troubles from the daily struggles.I know that you have a big bag of tricks you use to soothe and calm others. You are very blessed in many ways. You share your blessings and caring and kindness with others too. You are definitely not a black hole where all goodness of the world gets sucked in and disappears into a quagmire of loathesome sludge. You may FEEL tainted sometimes, but you are who you are- look at the people you surround yourself with. Would they choose to be with someone who is tainted?
**See I didn't blip out compliments...good muffy.
I am not all bad I guess. But I got alot of deficiencies...
I kinda think my T is tired of me...
But I can't ask, cuz SHE NOT AROUND (wanka wanka boo hoo).
I have very few people, I can count on 1 hand easily the few 'friends' I have, and I hold them at a distance...I hold everybody at a distance, sometimes even my kids :-(> Therapy is so hard. you've got to take a big breath sometimes and dig in and really ask your T about specific parts of your faxes- what does ___mean? How come I feel that way? Is this normal? How can I work on this? It's okay to want more answers, but inevitably the mind is a mystery. the more clues you find, the deeper the mystery grows. But the clues in themselves can be satisfying and fulfilling.
**you are exactly right LL, I got stop wimping and just GO for it...I think I should print this post to give me gumption so when/if I ever see T again I can speak.
Thanks LL, I kinda whining alot, sorry.
But you got me thinking which is good.
Ha!
You take care,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 22:46:52
In reply to Re: OK, here is a sample....what would YOUR T say/do? » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on July 24, 2007, at 18:43:37
> Hi, Muffled. It's hard for me to read your post (our experiences are too similar, I think), but I think you're very brave.
>
> I hope you figure it out with your T or another one.**oh gosh (((((TG))))
I'm sorry.
I'm not brave, I'm dissociative! I can just dissociate stuff away, so no worries mostly....
Ya, I wanto work it out w/my T, but I think Jammers thread has been useful for me. I think I need to hash stuff out w/my T too.
Remind myself that I NOT doing this for myself , but for my dear KIDS, whom I love. I will do ANYthing for my kids...this is what I need to keep in mind. I should tell T that. That she should pull the 'kid card' more often. She DOES pull it occasionally.
Haven't heard too much from you lately?
Things just the same?
Do you think there's hope for your T?
Sigh, this is all so hard isn't it?
Sorry if I have hurt you at all.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 25, 2007, at 6:28:23
In reply to Re: OK, here is a sample....what would YOUR T say/do? » TherapyGirl, posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 22:46:52
You didn't hurt me, Muffled. So no worries there, okay? I was just explaining why my response was so pathetic.
Things aren't great. I'm having yet another period (they are coming every 2-2.5 weeks now) and that is triggering me on several different levels, not least of which is my huge fear of all things gynecological. And I think it means that I have to tackle this issue with my T and I'm not feeling terribly safe to do that with her right now. Two weeks ago we had a good session. Last week was just sort of ho hum. I feel like I can't quite trust that she will be able to step up if we get into the heavy sh*t. Not because she doesn't want to, but because I fear that she's not in a place to be able to.
It's very, very hard, isn't it?
Hope you get the peace you need to be able to enjoy your trip. I'll miss seeing you around here, though.
Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2007, at 15:01:07
In reply to Re: If the above post is unclear, and sorry its LO » Dinah, posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 22:21:22
Thank you, muffled.
I think I have been around less lately. Partly I've been trying to catch up at work, and frustrated with how little my efforts seem to affect my outcomes.
And partly I think it has to do with Dr. Bob's desiring deputies to be detached. I've always balanced detachment and dispassion and passion very badly, tending to swing between extremes and not finding a middle too easily.
But I do care.
I understand how sometimes finances can cause some pressure in therapy. I hope you are able to find a way to convey what you need to your therapist and she's able to find a way to help you. I know you've built up a fair amount of trust with her, and it seems such a shame to stop at this point. I certainly understand though. Bah, money.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.