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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 2:28:02
I just woke up from the worst, most violent nightmare. I feel so scared, I wish I could bolt the door more, but there isn't any way. I've tried tying it together more, but although the doors to the hall are locked, it still doesn't feel at all safe in here.
My SigO is away for several days and I don't think I can get through this. It's undoubtedly really safe, and everything frightening is in my head, but it doesn't feel that way.
I want to stay up all night, but if I do, I'll be totally exhausted. My work is already going horribly, and if I ruin it more tomorrow, I'll be even more depressed.
This is so stupid, but so terrible-feeling.
Honore
Posted by arora on September 6, 2007, at 3:36:40
In reply to Really bad dream, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 2:28:02
Honore-
I know what you mean- whenever I have to stay in a place that I feel isn't safe, I can't sleep either.Is there anything else you can do to make it more secure? I wedge a good stout stick up against the door so it's jammed under the handle, or a solid strong chair, (if it's an inward-opening door).
If it opens outward, then I put a strong stick or bit of wood (like a 2"x 2" piece of timber) across the door frame horizontally so it's at the height of the door handle- then tie this to the handle with one of those very strong nylon luggage straps, as tight as I can so it's snug against the wall.
Is there any way you can fit a stronger bolt or chain onto the door so you feel safer? It's not nice feeling vulnerable and frightened at night.
arora
Posted by zenhussy on September 6, 2007, at 3:51:57
In reply to Really bad dream, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 2:28:02
Posted by B2chica on September 6, 2007, at 8:01:51
In reply to Really bad dream, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 2:28:02
so sorry you had this Honore....i understand Totally the fear.
i'm not sure if you dream was of something real or not, my dreams are typically of supernatural things thus the fear is nothing real life but sometimes that makes it worse, like i can't protect about it. thought the type of fear may not be the same, there are a couple things maybe you can do till sigO gets back....these are some of the things i do if needed:
1. sleep with a light on.
2. sleep with a stuffed animal (that i tell myself in a dream it will come to life to bring me back).
3. sleep with mace or a stick or something protective under your pillow.
4. i have certain music that i designate 'protective', play that all night.
5. call a friend to stay over with you (they dont even need to know why...
6. and if worse comes to worse...stay up as late as you need to to feel safe.take care ((((((H))))))
and here's sending you some Protective Vibes your way >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>b2c
Posted by Dinah on September 6, 2007, at 8:18:52
In reply to Really bad dream, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 2:28:02
Can you identify if you're feeling physically unsafe or emotionally unsafe?
My husband used to travel for work a lot more than he does now. When he was gone, I always felt anxious and unsafe. It wasn't a physical thing at all. We live in a safe neighborhood with alert involved neighbors. We've got a good security system, and at the time (and in the near future I'm sure) I had a pretty good protective dog. In fact, I had a houseful of dogs for company so I wasn't even lonely. Yet still I felt anxious.
I'm not sure if it was because I knew he wasn't around if I needed him, or if it was a change in routine.
If you're feeling physically unsafe there are all sorts of additional protection. But if you're feeling emotionally unsafe, maybe a different sort of protection is called for?
Just my recollections, for what it's worth.
Posted by Dinah on September 6, 2007, at 8:33:47
In reply to Really bad dream, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 2:28:02
Hmmm... It just occurred to me that feeling powerless in some areas (work related) could make you feel unsafe in other areas.
My feeling powerless with the puppy increased my overall anxiety significantly. Maybe we can practice alpha behavior together? I'll grab a klonopin in preparation. Then stick out my chest, throw back my shoulders, and walk pseudo-confidently into the pack. And hope that one day my fake behavior becomes real.
Posted by Poet on September 6, 2007, at 9:01:01
In reply to Really bad dream, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 2:28:02
Hi Honore,
If you can move something heavy in front of the door, a dresser or chest of drawers, something that can create a barrier.
I keep telling my T that I only feel safe (still hate that word, because in my head no where is safe!) alone in a room with a door that locks and I have the only key.
I hope you made it thruogh the night okay. Let us know how you're doing.
Poet
Posted by RealMe on September 6, 2007, at 9:59:46
In reply to Really bad dream, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 2:28:02
Honore
Hope you are doing better by now. It should be daytime by now, and likely you are at work. Take it easy today, and if you are going to be home alone tonight again, is there somewhere else to go, or can someone come over and stay with you??? Take care. I am in the middle of moving my stuff out of my office now and won't have access to email until tonight in about one-half hour.
RealMe
(OzLand)
Posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 11:02:40
In reply to Re: Really bad dream » Honore, posted by RealMe on September 6, 2007, at 9:59:46
Thanks so much everyone.
I did put a board behind a bookcase that's near the door, which make it hard to push open (it's an open door between my studio and the rest of the apartment and there's no chain on that front door, which also opens into the hall). I'm going to try to put a chain on it today.
There's the bookcase, which I couldn't move even an inch last night. I guess I could take out the books and move it and put the books in. So there's at least that. Also a few xanax helped.
I don't know why I had that dream; it was so much worse than anything I've dreamed for a long time. My SigO's uncle is dying, and I think that plus the ruined painting really just upset me a lot, even though I don't know him.
It's reassuring that I'm not the only one. I'm terribly demoralized about the painting that I've ruined. It's just that I tend to ruin things after they're okay, and then get so impatient, and can't seem to make anything that finally works. Although I don't know why that seems so violent and devastating-- well, devastating, I understand.
Sorry. I'm rambling. It helps a lot to know that I'm not alone, though. I'll try to remember that tonight (along with stick, chain, xanax). Thanks so much for your good thoughts, including 80 pounds of dog and all the other protections).
Honore
Posted by DAisym on September 6, 2007, at 20:20:59
In reply to Re: bad dream » RealMe, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 11:02:40
I'd like to suggest eating a small amount of something comforting before you lay down. For me it would be a warm bowl of cream of wheat but for many it would be chocolate (decaf?) or ice cream.
And then take a few moments to call up some calming memories or thoughts and wrap them around you. I then pray, but meditation also works to quiet the mind. And then I try to spend 5 minutes "just" breathing. I usually fall asleep but breathing in and out is so calming.
I have nightmares a lot too. I'm kind of notorious for leaving 3am messages on my therapist's answering machine about the dreams. He doesn't mind and it helps me. But I do know there are times when you just can't move or think.
I hope tonight is better.
Posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 20:45:29
In reply to Re: bad dream » Honore, posted by DAisym on September 6, 2007, at 20:20:59
Thanks, Daisy. I'll try the meditation. I hope it helps.
I did also get and install a chain-- I'm not sure I did it that well-- but I think it'll hold.
Still, the fear probably was strong enough and irrational enough that a chain, by itself, won't make it go away.
If only I could arrange a police guard at the front door of the building. Nightmares are awful. I'm sorry you have them, too.
Honore
Posted by RealMe on September 6, 2007, at 21:28:12
In reply to Re: bad dream » DAisym, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 20:45:29
Here's to pleasant dreams tonight. The nightmares have taken a LOA, they tell me, and said they would give way to some warm and fuzzy dreams!! They said they won't be around to bother you guys tonight. Okay?
RealMe
(Oz)
Posted by B2chica on September 7, 2007, at 7:41:13
In reply to Really bad dream, posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 2:28:02
Posted by Honore on September 12, 2007, at 15:31:59
In reply to Honore...how'd it go tonight?? U ok? (nm), posted by B2chica on September 7, 2007, at 7:41:13
Thanks for asking, B2Chica. I wasn't that okay, even with the chain. Eventually, I got so overwrought that I asked my SigO to come back from where he was early-- which he did, very reluctantly but not grudgingly, which was very sweet of him. When he got home, I felt a little better, which was a couple of days later (I didn't ask right away).
This is still a little rocky, but not as near the edge. Having him here and seeing my T more has helped, but I'm having a lot of nightmares, although I don't understand why. None of them as bad as the first one, but then I'm not alone, either.
Honore
Posted by B2chica on September 13, 2007, at 10:06:27
In reply to Re: Honore...how'd it go tonight?? U ok? » B2chica, posted by Honore on September 12, 2007, at 15:31:59
dreams are such an odd thing....even as adults...as much as we KNOW they aren't real, they can still instill such fear and anxiety as if it's as real as day.
sometimes as much as i can tell myself that...it seems like it still doesn't help. for some reason words have no effect over my 'dream' reactions.i'm SO sorry you are dealing with this. it's such a hard thing. but ((((((((((((Honore)))))))))))) i'm SO proud of you for asking...and to get such a reassuring response. i'm glad your SigO came back.
is your T giving you any tips on how to address your nightmares?
i hope so...and if you find something that works...pass the info along :^), i'll take it!glad you're ok Honore.
while you are still having nightmares, please take care. maybe try to take some naps during the day if you can, eat well and exercise.
take care of yourself, and let others as well.
cares
b2c
Posted by muffled on September 13, 2007, at 10:25:01
In reply to Re: Honore...how'd it go tonight?? U ok? » Honore, posted by B2chica on September 13, 2007, at 10:06:27
This is the end of the thread.
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