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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 11:09:52
I have such a strong urge to dress provocatively in therapy, and I know I should discuss this with my t. I'm afraid of what he might say. He has told me not to be overly seductive and dress more conservatively at one time, but then has also told me that I'm very sexy and I always look great. Confusing.
I have a new t that I'm seeing now to help me leave my old t, but I'm finding myself starting to do the same thing with him.
Part of me feels that it's ok to dress anyway I want to as I feel it's a way of displaying my thoughts that need to be analyzed...but then feel like I should control myself.
Have you displayed seductive behavior your T, and if so what was the your T's response? What should be the proper response?
Just writing this post makes me see that my sense of boundary is not too solid.
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Posted by backseatdriver on July 27, 2008, at 11:23:27
In reply to URGE to dress provocatively in therapy..., posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 11:09:52
I wore a miniskirt one time, and bare legs. At our next session, I showed up and he canceled as soon as I arrived.
I don't know if these things were related, but i'll never wear that skirt again to therapy.
Posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 11:26:45
In reply to Re: URGE to dress provocatively in therapy..., posted by backseatdriver on July 27, 2008, at 11:23:27
He cancelled your session?! What did he say was the reason? I can't believe it! wow...
> I wore a miniskirt one time, and bare legs. At our next session, I showed up and he canceled as soon as I arrived.
>
> I don't know if these things were related, but i'll never wear that skirt again to therapy.
Posted by Hermitian on July 27, 2008, at 11:53:08
In reply to Re: URGE to dress provocatively in therapy... » backseatdriver, posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 11:26:45
Hey, you are consciously aware that your subconscious is trying to sabotage your doctor-patient relationship.
If the need to dress provocatively borders on a compulsion, tell the guy up front and nip it in the bud. Then it becomes a clinical issue, not a personal one.
If you feel embarrassed about revealing your predilection to him face to face, then explain it in an e-mail. Then if you show up dressed to kill, he will know why and hopefully deal with it professionally.
P.S. Man, your note got me thinking of Stacy London. She sure looks good in skirts. I love women...
Posted by Phillipa on July 27, 2008, at 13:18:27
In reply to URGE to dress provocatively in therapy..., posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 11:09:52
Is sounds like he's giving you mixed messages just my opinion and I feel that is not fair to you. How do you really want to dress? Love Phillipa
Posted by Hermitian on July 27, 2008, at 13:27:51
In reply to Re: URGE to dress provocatively in therapy... » stellabystarlight, posted by Phillipa on July 27, 2008, at 13:18:27
Wait a second. HOW you want to dress is one reason why you are seeing a therapist. How you SHOULD dress is how you should actually dress.
You can tell the guy about the fantasy stuff without actually engaging in it.
You're wasting your bucks and asking for trouble if you sashay in like a...
Posted by Phillipa on July 27, 2008, at 13:48:35
In reply to Re: URGE to dress provocatively in therapy... » Phillipa, posted by Hermitian on July 27, 2008, at 13:27:51
I see what you mean for this poster. I guess in my case it isn't an issue. But here it is. You're right. Phillipa ps not trying to talk behind poster's back sorry about that seriously apologies extended
Posted by backseatdriver on July 27, 2008, at 14:07:34
In reply to Re: URGE to dress provocatively in therapy... » backseatdriver, posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 11:26:45
He would not say why. He only said the reason was "legitimate."
Dunno. ...
Posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 14:10:42
In reply to Re: URGE to dress provocatively in therapy... » Phillipa, posted by Hermitian on July 27, 2008, at 13:27:51
You're right Hermitian. How I want to dress is one of the reasons why I'm seeing a therapist. You got me thinking about how I should dress...and I'm surprised that I don't really know. I do like stylish clothing and dress tastefully, but I just have an overwhelming urge to visually seduce my T in the most provocative way. Yes, I need to talk to him about this. I wonder if you're right about my subconscious trying to sabotage this doctor-patient relationship...interesting.
I'm so wrapped up in erotic
transference/countertransference with my T right now that I can't see straight. Yeah, this is how I always related to men, so it's very difficult to untangle my head.Thanks for the feedback.
stellabystarlight
> Wait a second. HOW you want to dress is one reason why you are seeing a therapist. How you SHOULD dress is how you should actually dress.
>
> You can tell the guy about the fantasy stuff without actually engaging in it.
>
> You're wasting your bucks and asking for trouble if you sashay in like a...
Posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 14:21:27
In reply to Re: URGE to dress provocatively in therapy... » Hermitian, posted by Phillipa on July 27, 2008, at 13:48:35
Hi Phillipa,
No need to apologize. Took it as a discussion and not "talking behind poster's back". :)
Thanks for the feedback.stellabystarlight
> I see what you mean for this poster. I guess in my case it isn't an issue. But here it is. You're right. Phillipa ps not trying to talk behind poster's back sorry about that seriously apologies extended
Posted by Looney Tunes on July 27, 2008, at 14:50:49
In reply to URGE to dress provocatively in therapy..., posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 11:09:52
Personally, I think this is a problem.
You are obviously trying to get a response from your T, especially if you do not dress so provocatively elsewhere.I think this is one of those "slippery slope" indicators and I don't think your T has handled appropiately. On one hand telling you to dress less provocatively, on the other telling you that you look sexy. I don't think any male T should be commenting on a females client's dress in that sense as to say "you look sexy or great." Not appropriate. Not even esteem building.
You need to put on some sweat-pants and a sweat-shirt and go to T and talk about your need to seduce him and destroy the relationship.
If he does not handle it appropiately, get another T. The erotic transferance/countertransferance if not handled properally will destroy you and possiblity his career...that is horrible.
Posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 17:30:42
In reply to Re: URGE to dress provocatively in therapy..., posted by Looney Tunes on July 27, 2008, at 14:50:49
Hi Looney Tunes,
You're right. My relationship with this T has become a problem, and it scares me at times. I'm not worried about him as I wouldn't hurt him professionally, but I'm afraid for myself. Trying to sort it out...
Thanks for the feedback
stellabystarlight
> Personally, I think this is a problem.
> You are obviously trying to get a response from your T, especially if you do not dress so provocatively elsewhere.
>
> I think this is one of those "slippery slope" indicators and I don't think your T has handled appropiately. On one hand telling you to dress less provocatively, on the other telling you that you look sexy. I don't think any male T should be commenting on a females client's dress in that sense as to say "you look sexy or great." Not appropriate. Not even esteem building.
>
> You need to put on some sweat-pants and a sweat-shirt and go to T and talk about your need to seduce him and destroy the relationship.
>
> If he does not handle it appropiately, get another T. The erotic transferance/countertransferance if not handled properally will destroy you and possiblity his career...that is horrible.
This is the end of the thread.
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