Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JayMac on September 6, 2008, at 12:01:04
Money is my least favorite subject matter. I think I have to tell my T that I need to cut our number of sessions.
A little background for you all: I have HMO right now but it doesn't cover a therapist. I will be changing to PPO in Dec so that I can see my T for a *whole lot less*. Honestly, she's pretty expensive, but *well worth* it. I've been seeing her twice a week, but I think I will have to drop a session. When we first discussed rates, she told me her going rate, and then she told me she would offer me a lower rate. I told her it would be hard, but I could do the lower rate.
That was then, this is now: I'm not out of a job, but my pay has not been great lately. My income is not fixed. And due to unforeseen circumstances (i.e. the economy), I have had to accept a big pay cut within the past couple months. I have cut my spending, but I do have to eat, I do need gas, and I do have to pay other bills. I've never done this, but I think I will have to pay for my utilities using a credit card. It sucks. I feel inadequate.
So what does it all mean: I will probably email my T today or tomorrow and let her know I will have to cancel our future appointments. She expects me to come 2 times a week. In fact, if it were up to her, she would have me come 4 times a week. If I could, then I would happily do 4 times a week. I would love to! The reality is that I can barely do once a week right now.
During our last session, we started talking about school, and I was telling her I would have to get some major loans. I told her the loan debt doesn't bother me that much. She is aware that I do have debt. She is also aware that my pay has been less than what it used to be.
So......I don't want her to decrease the rate for me, but I wish that I didn't have to face this right now. I have SO much other stressors right now. Last night I started looking for a new job, and I am either way too qualified, or way too under qualified. Plus, as does anyone, I *DO* need to make a certain amount of money.
Ahhh, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I feel trapped! I don't want to go down to once a week, I've made so much progress with her. I'm kinda afraid that I'll regress. Actually, I'm SUPER afraid that I'll become more depressed, more anxious, and even more needy. I feel drained financially and emotionally.
Sorry for such a long post. I just needed to let it out before I tell her what's going on. Any suggestions you may have would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.
Jay
Posted by Phillipa on September 6, 2008, at 12:35:20
In reply to Money (long post), posted by JayMac on September 6, 2008, at 12:01:04
I sure understand hence I haven't tried to find another therapist no money. And we're paying for the same things with a credit card. My Daughter who is a manager of a chain of well known chains said during the Spring Summer Master's Degrees were begging for part time work and there was none. So are living in a false sense of security unless they are old money. Theraphy will become babble theraphy. Love Phillipa
Posted by softheprairie on September 7, 2008, at 0:06:04
In reply to Money (long post), posted by JayMac on September 6, 2008, at 12:01:04
Oh man do I sadly understand.
I'm not seeing my dr. as often as he recommends either, because of the cost. And I've put utilities on a credit card before, too. A few years ago I handled my own bankruptcy w/out a lawyer, also due to their expense. (Warning: I got through it okay, but it's quite risky.)
And, yes, I was trying my hardest work-wise despite depression, low enery, etc. and was also keeping a thrifty, meager lifestyle, which adds to my depression.Good luck to us all.
> Money is my least favorite subject matter. I think I have to tell my T that I need to cut our number of sessions.
>
> A little background for you all: I have HMO right now but it doesn't cover a therapist. I will be changing to PPO in Dec so that I can see my T for a *whole lot less*. Honestly, she's pretty expensive, but *well worth* it. I've been seeing her twice a week, but I think I will have to drop a session. When we first discussed rates, she told me her going rate, and then she told me she would offer me a lower rate. I told her it would be hard, but I could do the lower rate.
>
> That was then, this is now: I'm not out of a job, but my pay has not been great lately. My income is not fixed. And due to unforeseen circumstances (i.e. the economy), I have had to accept a big pay cut within the past couple months. I have cut my spending, but I do have to eat, I do need gas, and I do have to pay other bills. I've never done this, but I think I will have to pay for my utilities using a credit card. It sucks. I feel inadequate.
>
> So what does it all mean: I will probably email my T today or tomorrow and let her know I will have to cancel our future appointments. She expects me to come 2 times a week. In fact, if it were up to her, she would have me come 4 times a week. If I could, then I would happily do 4 times a week. I would love to! The reality is that I can barely do once a week right now.
>
> During our last session, we started talking about school, and I was telling her I would have to get some major loans. I told her the loan debt doesn't bother me that much. She is aware that I do have debt. She is also aware that my pay has been less than what it used to be.
>
> So......I don't want her to decrease the rate for me, but I wish that I didn't have to face this right now. I have SO much other stressors right now. Last night I started looking for a new job, and I am either way too qualified, or way too under qualified. Plus, as does anyone, I *DO* need to make a certain amount of money.
>
> Ahhh, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I feel trapped! I don't want to go down to once a week, I've made so much progress with her. I'm kinda afraid that I'll regress. Actually, I'm SUPER afraid that I'll become more depressed, more anxious, and even more needy. I feel drained financially and emotionally.
>
> Sorry for such a long post. I just needed to let it out before I tell her what's going on. Any suggestions you may have would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.
>
> Jay
>
Posted by sassyfrancesca on September 8, 2008, at 9:09:13
In reply to Re: Money (long post), posted by softheprairie on September 7, 2008, at 0:06:04
Dear (((Jay))): I SO relate; in about 3 months, I will have no more money to pay my t (I will be living on abut 50 dollars a week for groceries.
I should have talked to my t about it over a year ago, but I keep waiting for a miracle.
He doesnt' take insurance, so I pay out of pocket. He has no idea what a financial crisis I am in. After my divorce (31 years of abuse); I took out a couple of mortgages and 2 home equity loans.
I can pay my bills, but after that, about 200 left for the month.......arrghhhh....money....
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by lucie lu on September 8, 2008, at 16:00:37
In reply to Money (long post), posted by JayMac on September 6, 2008, at 12:01:04
Sorry Jay, I missed your post and see that you and Sassy posted about similar situations (no surprise given the bad economy). Going from an HMO to a PPO should help if she's been an out-of-network provider. Would she consider a sliding scale arrangement so that if/when your income gets a little better you might be able to take a bigger proportion of the fee? My experience with T's is that (1) they need the money themselves; or (2) they don't, but feel very weird without a more customary fee schedule, worries about the "frame" and boundaries etc. Many, regardless, will help you lighten the load to some extent, especially if you see them more than once a week. And others actually have sliding scale fees, especially places like Family Services or other social services who provide therapy.When do you see her next?
Lucie
Posted by JayMac on September 10, 2008, at 17:48:09
In reply to Re: Money (long post) » JayMac, posted by lucie lu on September 8, 2008, at 16:00:37
Thank you for all your posts. I appreciate it.
I saw my T today and she said that she will work with my income given that I, at least, ask my family for financial help. Although that's a huge relief in many ways, I don't want to be a burden on her nor do I want to be a burden on my family.....
I seriously need to post a thread on the subject of asking for help.
Thanks you all.
This is the end of the thread.
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