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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 11 to 35 of 35. Go back in thread:
Posted by alicefranklin on October 31, 2000, at 21:09:36
In reply to other message on my miscarriage and self-injury, posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 13:00:22
www.priory.com/dbt.htm
Posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 23:34:00
In reply to Re: BPD, posted by Rzip on October 31, 2000, at 20:54:35
> For me, the dissociative states occur at dawn (two or three consecutive mornings now), how about you?
Yes!! It happened at 4 this morning. I'm sorry you are going through this also, but it helps me to know I'm not alone. There were a lot of very good suggestions in your letter, and I recognized myself. Take care.
Posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 23:40:12
In reply to BPD, posted by coral on October 31, 2000, at 20:08:47
Thank you for your prayers. I'm not alone, but that doesn't seem to stop my behavior. I will try the timer, Rzip mentioned it also. My sleep is getting messed up now, which sometimes brings on a manic or hypomanic episode, which would probably end this but cause other problems. I think I'm overwhelmed.
Posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 23:47:26
In reply to Re: BPD, posted by noa on October 31, 2000, at 20:29:40
Thank you for all the sites and the books you mentioned. I did visit one site and learned a lot. I wish I had a shrink I could trust enough to work this out, but I don't have that option. So far, no stitches, and I am trying to do a good job keeping my wounds clean. I slept in the other room last night and there was blood all over the sheets, I just feel disgusted with myself.
Posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 23:51:53
In reply to Re: other message on my miscarriage and self-injury » judy1, posted by alicefranklin on October 31, 2000, at 21:09:36
Thank you for the site, when and if I'm able to function, that would probably be a good type of therapy for me. Do you just call and ask therapists if they practice it?
Posted by shar on November 1, 2000, at 0:31:49
In reply to dbt- alicefranklin, posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 23:51:53
Judy1:
What options are available to you? You mentioned therapy was not an option. Is that for financial reasons?
What are your options?
What about a hospital stay? I say that because you are sounding like you are in deep, and I'd like to see you get some help.
What about Emotions Anonymous? Or something like that?
If you are not "functional" you need assistance! You should not have to go through this horrible time alone. I believe you are overwhelmed, and encourage you to get help tomorrow.
Shar
Posted by judy1 on November 1, 2000, at 1:07:10
In reply to What are your options for getting help?, posted by shar on November 1, 2000, at 0:31:49
Dear Shar,
I have access to a psychiatrist(s), it is not financial but fear. Fear of hospitals, of losing control of being hurt. But maybe i am already in this place. I am so afraid to go to sleep, thank you for sharing your insomnia with me. I am going to try very hard and call the psychiatrist tomorrow. I pray he won't be angry at me. Thank you for being here.
Posted by shar on November 1, 2000, at 1:13:32
In reply to Re: What are your options for getting help?- Shar, posted by judy1 on November 1, 2000, at 1:07:10
I can almost guarantee he will not be angry at you. I hope you will be frank with him about what you are going through AND that you are afraid of hospitals and of being hurt or losing control.
I think it is very important for you to call.
Shar> Dear Shar,
> I have access to a psychiatrist(s), it is not financial but fear. Fear of hospitals, of losing control of being hurt. But maybe i am already in this place. I am so afraid to go to sleep, thank you for sharing your insomnia with me. I am going to try very hard and call the psychiatrist tomorrow. I pray he won't be angry at me. Thank you for being here.
Posted by judy1 on November 1, 2000, at 1:30:26
In reply to What are your options for getting help? » judy1, posted by shar on November 1, 2000, at 1:13:32
I just left a message on his answering machine (thank you for the courage), he has a message that says he will call in the morning. It said if it was an emergency to call another number, but I think that means suicide. You and the others who are trying to help me are such good people, I don't deserve this. I will let you know what happens tomorrow.
Posted by coral on November 1, 2000, at 4:13:20
In reply to Shar, posted by judy1 on November 1, 2000, at 1:30:26
Dear Judy,
CONGRATULATIONS on calling the psychiatrist! That took a chunk of courage!
In your message, you said, "I don't deserve this." IF you mean you don't deserve to have Freddie Krueger with you, you're absolutely right. NO ONE deserves the terror, fear, pain and damage you're experiencing.
IF you mean you don't deserve what help we may be offering, yes, you do. You deserve every bit of help and hope that is possible in the world. Obviously, we care and want to help. I think it was Shar who called the people on this board a "tag team." Good description. I have no idea what's driving this, but the beast who is hanging around you right now is particularly malignant, vicious and a blight on life.
Please call your psychiatrist back and leave the message that this is an emergency or call the other number. Keep posting.
Coral
Posted by judy1 on November 1, 2000, at 11:03:55
In reply to Re: help, posted by coral on November 1, 2000, at 4:13:20
My psychiatrist was actually very nice, he had me go to my family doctor- I had to have several stitches (7), it was deeper than I thought. He (the shrink) said many of the things that all of you had mentioned (getting rid of sharp objects). We talked about suicide, I have ideation but I won't do it. I'm really exhausted right now, but I wanted to thank everyone first. Take care.
Posted by shar on November 1, 2000, at 12:02:16
In reply to Re: help- Coral and Shar, posted by judy1 on November 1, 2000, at 11:03:55
Judy,
Whew! I am a lot more relaxed about you now. So glad you talked to your shrink and went to your doc. Now, after a rest, do you need to make an appointment with your shrink? Or did you say you already have one?You have a lot of strength to be functioning so well, and keeping your head above water, with the Beast pulling at your feet. Above everything else, your health and heart and mind deserve loving care.
Shar
> My psychiatrist was actually very nice, he had me go to my family doctor- I had to have several stitches (7), it was deeper than I thought. He (the shrink) said many of the things that all of you had mentioned (getting rid of sharp objects). We talked about suicide, I have ideation but I won't do it. I'm really exhausted right now, but I wanted to thank everyone first. Take care.
Posted by Noa on November 1, 2000, at 16:32:01
In reply to Re: BPD-Rzip, posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 23:34:00
>
> > For me, the dissociative states occur at dawn (two or three consecutive mornings now), how about you?
> Yes!! It happened at 4 this morning. I'm sorry you are going through this also, but it helps me to know I'm not alone. There were a lot of very good suggestions in your letter, and I recognized myself. Take care.THis is interesting. Perhaps it is related to a sleep disorder? Nightmares triggering panic attacks?
Posted by Noa on November 1, 2000, at 16:33:32
In reply to Re: BPD- Noa, posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 23:47:26
Perhaps you can find out from the SAFE Canada site if there are any SAFE-type group programs in your area. (maybe they can direct you to the US branch if you are in the US--as I said, a few months back, the US branch did have a web site).
Posted by Noa on November 1, 2000, at 16:35:17
In reply to Shar, posted by judy1 on November 1, 2000, at 1:30:26
> I just left a message on his answering machine
good!
Posted by Noa on November 1, 2000, at 16:37:00
In reply to That's good news. » judy1, posted by shar on November 1, 2000, at 12:02:16
> Judy,
good work. Get some rest, and keep us posted. I am proud of you for being courageous to reach out for help!
Posted by Erinn on November 2, 2000, at 13:30:26
In reply to other message on my miscarriage and self-injury, posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 13:00:22
This website is very helpful...
Secret Shame (self-injury information and support)
Address:
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
Posted by judy1 on November 2, 2000, at 17:03:18
In reply to Re: other message on my miscarriage and self-injury, posted by Erinn on November 2, 2000, at 13:30:26
You're right, it is a really good site. Noa had recommended it also, but I thank you for providing a direct link like that. Take care, Judy
Posted by noa on November 2, 2000, at 19:00:36
In reply to Erinn, posted by judy1 on November 2, 2000, at 17:03:18
I hope this doesn't overwhelm you--giving you even more info, but I was looking around at the "pamphlets" page (link up top) and saw this: a pamphlet on self-injury with lots of links.
Posted by judy1 on November 3, 2000, at 1:38:22
In reply to Re: more web resources, posted by noa on November 2, 2000, at 19:00:36
Thank you, Noa- If I get through all of this reading I will probably become the resident expert on self injury. Take care, Judy
Posted by Noa on November 4, 2000, at 10:43:09
In reply to Re: more web resources » noa, posted by judy1 on November 3, 2000, at 1:38:22
> If I get through all of this reading I will probably become the resident expert on self injury.
Sounds good to me.
Posted by S. Howard on November 5, 2000, at 0:47:02
In reply to Re: more web resources » judy1, posted by Noa on November 4, 2000, at 10:43:09
Judy-
You should be in a hospital for treatment.I was committed involuntarily to a hospital psychiatric ward last June. I had resisted all treatment for bouts of severe depression for many years because I felt I could "handle it" on my own. Finally, I called 911 about 4:00 am one morning and asked for the number to a suicide hotline. I denied wanting to kill myself, saying that I just needed to talk, but I admitted to having a loaded gun. To my amazement, there were four policemen at the door within minutes.
This was not an attention-getting tactic on my part. I felt like a total ass. I sat on the steps of the front porch with one of the cops and tried to convince him that I was alright and they could go away. I tried the same thing with the paramedics, but I was so severely stressed that my blood pressure reading in the ambulance was 200/160 (extremely high).
I had no intention of going to a psych ward. I was no fruitcake and besides, I had seen the movie about Frances Farmer. They tie you to the bed railings, inject you with insulin, give you ice baths and electroshock therapy, and sedate you with mind-numbing drugs.
Needless to say, it was nothing like that. I was terrified at first, especially when I had to hand over all my personal belongings, including my shampoo and shoelaces. This action in particular has a prison-like feel to it, and I was so horrified about the spot I had put myself into that I sat in the corner of my room and cried.
After about two weeks my doctor decided I was well enough to go home. I knew that I had to go back to my work and my family and get on with my life, but I was hesitant. Many of the other patients on the ward had become my friends and we
became unusually close during the short time we were together. The nurses were always available and honestly seemed to care. If I needed a sedative they would give it to me, but I was never forced to take anything. There was always someone to talk to, but you didn't have to talk.
While I didn't actually feel pampered, I felt cared-for. I felt like I was finally getting help.I believe, like me, you have reached the practical limits of self-help. All my fears about being hospitalized were unfounded. If you have any questions please e-mail me at gracie2114@aol.com.
Posted by judy1 on November 6, 2000, at 15:45:02
In reply to Judy-please get help, posted by S. Howard on November 5, 2000, at 0:47:02
Thank you so much for your concern and your offer to have me write to you. I'm actually doing a LOT better than I was. I did turn to my shrink who has been wonderful, while we talked about the hospital, it is a very traumatic place for me. I am very happy that you had a helping experience, however I have had numerous hospitalizations- some with very bad experiences. I also come loaded with baggage and this has created a lot of fear for me. I did agree to see my shrink until I'm more stabilized and he has been very supportive (as have everyone on this board). Thank you again and take care- Judy
Posted by S. Howard on November 8, 2000, at 9:54:36
In reply to Re: Judy-please get help » S. Howard, posted by judy1 on November 6, 2000, at 15:45:02
I'm sorry about your hospital experience, I assumed you were like me and had never been because you were scared. Now just seemed like a good time for you to go as, aside from the problems you were having before I believe you must also be suffering from what I think they call "simple bereavement" because of your miscarriage. Of course there is nothing simple about it, I'm guessing it refers to grief that anyone would feel under the circumstances.
Is there another hospital in the area or at least some kind of support group you can attend? This board is good evidence that reaching out to other people with similar problems is a comfort.
When I was first admitted to the hospital, I was frightened and then angry that I couldn't leave.
I caustically referred to the ward as Nuts R' Us and isolated myself from the other patients because I wasn't "like them". Of course, while a few of the patients were doing the old "thorazine shuffle" around the hallways, many of the people there were JUST like me. Stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, sometimes self-destructive.
My son brought me a teddy bear and I sometimes carried it around with me (now where else can you do that?) At one session, the woman sitting next to me - who happened to be an executive at a Fortune 500 Company - broke down and started crying like her heart would break. I gave her my teddy bear and she clutched it like a drowning person. (She got it soggy, but he went through the wash nicely). Another time I stayed up with a woman who had somehow become addicted to heroin while she was going through medical school. She was having a bad night - all I could do was talk to her and hold her hand, but it seemed to help a little. I'm not particularly a "people person" so these were, you know, touching things for me to do. At the same time, it made me feel like I was not so alone in the world.
Anyway - sorry so long - whatever you decide on, I wish you luck. SGH
Posted by judy1 on November 8, 2000, at 12:24:37
In reply to Re: Judy-please get help, posted by S. Howard on November 8, 2000, at 9:54:36
I think hospitals are a trigger for me- well actually my psych said that. Something about a loss of control. After my last hospital stay, I was supposed to attend day hospital. That lasted about 10 minutes when I couldn't be in a group without panic attacks. It's funny how I can be so open on this forum, but I'm sure that has to do with safety. Like I said before, I am glad you were able to be helped, I guess I just can't be helped in that type of environment- even though every shrink I've seen has felt I needed to be in one. I don't last very long with them. Take care, Judy
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