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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on August 31, 2005, at 6:57:41
I get assessed for an intensive outpatient treatment programme. I'm afraid of - the unknown. Being judged for taking psychotropic meds (xanax!! even if it is 1mg per day, it's the evil BENZO), being goose-stepped, not 12-stepped; I don't know. Fear of failure, I've failed so many times before. I have so much more at stake now. A marriage I don't want to lose. Friends here I cherish. My self? I'm still working on that. I've put a lot of work into me, I guess.
Plus, my timing is all wrong. I have 2 trips out of town - no, out of country - planned in September. How is this going to work? Can I worry about it some more before 4pm?
Posted by sunny10 on August 31, 2005, at 9:54:59
In reply to Way nervous today., posted by ClearSkies on August 31, 2005, at 6:57:41
One thing at a time, honey.
I say take advantage of what's being offered and try to remember that everyone else is just as afraid of you judging them.
So let that go, okay???
a big Susan MMMMWWWAAHHH at you!
Posted by gardenergirl on September 1, 2005, at 0:33:02
In reply to Way nervous today., posted by ClearSkies on August 31, 2005, at 6:57:41
Posted by ClearSkies on September 1, 2005, at 5:18:11
In reply to How did it go? (nm), posted by gardenergirl on September 1, 2005, at 0:33:02
Best place I could have gone. I started the first session immediately last night. There are 20 sessions, each consisting of education and group therapy. This support, combined with the relief I'm getting from starting the Campral (what a great medication for me!) is giving me some hope for future for the first time in Years.
It's very liberating not to think about drinking for a change. Where to get it, how to hide it, what lies to tell about it, what direction to breathe to try to hide it - it's a complex thing to deal with. No wonder I had no energy left with to try to hold a job.
Fingers, toes, eyes, all crossed; but this feels much different than a mood swing to me. This feels like a shift in strategy and approach. It feels safe and smart.
And I only used one kleenex last night. That's pretty big, for me!
ClearSkies
Posted by sunny10 on September 1, 2005, at 13:38:09
In reply to Re: How did it go? » gardenergirl, posted by ClearSkies on September 1, 2005, at 5:18:11
Posted by gardenergirl on September 1, 2005, at 15:38:59
In reply to Re: How did it go? » gardenergirl, posted by ClearSkies on September 1, 2005, at 5:18:11
That's great! I'm so happy for you.
On a related note, should I sell my stock in Kleenex? :-P
gg
Posted by TexasChic on September 1, 2005, at 19:45:46
In reply to Re: How did it go? » gardenergirl, posted by ClearSkies on September 1, 2005, at 5:18:11
I'm s-o-o happy at how well you're doing! Your husband sounds awesome (I read about him coming to your appointment on the other board). I hope I can find someone like that someday. You've always inspired me. Keep up the good work!
-T
Posted by ClearSkies on September 2, 2005, at 7:05:03
In reply to Re: How did it go? » ClearSkies, posted by gardenergirl on September 1, 2005, at 15:38:59
> On a related note, should I sell my stock in Kleenex? :-P
>
I'm pretty certain I'm the major producer of mucous in the southeast. Kleenex might be at an all time high.
love
Martha Stewart
Posted by coley on September 13, 2005, at 0:55:33
In reply to Way nervous today., posted by ClearSkies on August 31, 2005, at 6:57:41
I've been thinking of you the past few days...and am sad to know i was not here to post supportively. Hope all is better since this post you wrote. I hope you don't think it trite when I say that I'll pray for you.
Posted by ClearSkies on September 13, 2005, at 6:56:44
In reply to Re: Way nervous today., posted by coley on September 13, 2005, at 0:55:33
Thanks for your warm wishes, Coley. I am doing well in the outpatient programme. So many supportive people in the same boat, good advice, good coaching.
My sobriety group is also a wealth of caring women who want me to succeed. I am isolating myself less and reaching out more - to ask for help and to lend it, when I can.
So trite to say that "everything happens for a reason", yet I can't say that I would have been able to make this journey a year ago.
ClearSkies
Posted by coley on September 13, 2005, at 22:02:08
In reply to Re: Way nervous today. » coley, posted by ClearSkies on September 13, 2005, at 6:56:44
Sometimes I really want to start going to meetings....AA, NA it doesn't make a difference. However I have two worries, or three I shoud say.
1. - my mother already told me "If you're goig to start going to meetings don't think that you can start preaching to me." so i worry how me going to meetings will affect my relationship with her (important since my boyfriend and i are staying with my parents now while we renovate)
2. - my boyfriends parents were both addicts, sadly his mother passed more then 5 years ago, and sometimes i worry he might get scared that I am openly admitting I have addiction issues
3. - i live in a HUGE town, but a creepy inter-connected town where everyone knows someone who knows something and so on...I know that meetings are supposed to be sacred and all but my paranoia forbids me to trust any sacred vow...
Oh well, I'm glad things are going well for you. Keep truckin' and all that good stuff
Posted by ClearSkies on September 14, 2005, at 7:17:51
In reply to Re: Way nervous today., posted by coley on September 13, 2005, at 22:02:08
I don't think there is anything to risk by trying a few meetings. Most people find them to be the safe environment they need to keep straight and sober, and develop new friendships that reinforce the new and healthier way of life we need to adopt.
If you're worried about anonymity, why not try attending a meeting a little bit out of your way? less likely to run into people you know...
And you don't have to tell anyone - family or friends - that you're going to meetings. I learned the hard way that not all members of my family are able or willing to give me the support I need. Whether from denial, discomfort, or misunderstanding - I just know that my newly sober feelings were bruised when I didn't get an overwhelming attagirl! from my family when I started getting help. It can make you feel less confident that you are doing the right thing (which you are!!) at a time when you really need encouragement.
ClearSkies
Posted by antigua on September 14, 2005, at 7:33:09
In reply to Re: Way nervous today., posted by coley on September 13, 2005, at 22:02:08
Maybe it would help if you kept in mind that this is about YOU and not any of them. You have to take care of yourself first.
antigua
Posted by AuntieMel on September 16, 2005, at 10:28:32
In reply to Re: Way nervous today., posted by coley on September 13, 2005, at 22:02:08
There is addiction in the family. Would anyone think it odd if you went to 'open' meetings to get information?
This is the end of the thread.
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