Psycho-Babble Substance Use Thread 593251

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Concerned ex-meth abuser

Posted by idolamine on December 29, 2005, at 20:42:11

As of febuary, it will be exactly 1 year since I last smoked methamphetamine. The duration of abuse of this awful drug was ~4 months, off and on. Current problems are difficult to deliniate, as I was diagnosed with OCD and depression (as well as ADHD) before I first abused meth. Today, I experience a flattened affect, poverty and incoherency of speech, and inconsistincies in mood. For the most part, I am well motivated and able to function well in school (hard science major, GPA 3.3). However, I am concerned with the psychological aspects of it. It feels impossible for me to geniunely enjoy social interaction in a comfortable fashion. I've been of my prozac for awhile and am starting it again. I'm faced with a fear that I've lost something in me- and will never really be able to maintain a healthy romantic relationship, as well as general functioning.

My question is this: are there any users who abused this drug for a (hopefully) brief period of months off and on, who, over a number of years, experienced significant recovery from it's permenant effects. I have slight feelings of paranoia, though not to a great degree. BZDs alleviate this to some degree. Recently, I also began lamacital treatment (just titrated to 75mg daily). I know there is some spontaneous regeneration of dopamine nerves over the years, but the future seems bleak and hopeless to me right now. I've no doubt the SSRIs will help me, but I wish again someday to be normal. Ex abusers out there- is there hope?

 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser

Posted by James K on December 29, 2005, at 23:19:51

In reply to Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by idolamine on December 29, 2005, at 20:42:11

I've been wrestling with how best to answer your question, because the truth is I haven't done meth but I've known meth addicts. The bottom line is (based on observation of people who got deeper in trouble than you),I don't think you should be too worried.

Stay clean and take care of your mind and body and you'll be okay eventually.

I hope someone here can give you the science or first hand experience you're looking for. I wanted to offer something even though I only have gut feeling and anecdotal based opinion. I am a recovering substance abuser, just not the right drug. I'm not sure why I'm even posting, but I hope maybe a response will get a thread going for you.

congratulations on 11 months,
James K

 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser » James K

Posted by idolamine on December 29, 2005, at 23:42:57

In reply to Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by James K on December 29, 2005, at 23:19:51

Thanks :) It still helps.

 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser

Posted by Maynerd on December 30, 2005, at 4:48:06

In reply to Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by idolamine on December 29, 2005, at 20:42:11

I won't lie, some of the physical damage seems to be pretty permanent as far as I can tell. While I have gradually returned close to what I was before I can honestly tell that I have lost some of my mental abilities. The schizophrenia like symptoms of gradually disappear over time as the dompamine system gets back to normal. The psychological impact has not gone away completely although time has stopped the hallucinations and delusions and greatly reduced the distrustful paranoia. It took quite a while for me to overcome the social fears but I was finally able to, finding out that I hadn't permanently messed up myself in the romantic department. I shot up 2 different periods in my life for a total of I honestly don't know how long, but after 5 years of being clean I feel that I am faily close to what I might have been. It is a nasty drug that has the potential to do severe damage, but luckily it didn't do as much as it could have. Good luck with everything, please stay away from that evil stuff (I've watched it being made and know the ingredients which are BAD).

 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser

Posted by idolamine on December 30, 2005, at 23:07:58

In reply to Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by Maynerd on December 30, 2005, at 4:48:06

I don't have any hallucinations or delusions, so I guess that's good. More anxiety, irritability, and poverty of affect and speech.


> I won't lie, some of the physical damage seems to be pretty permanent as far as I can tell. While I have gradually returned close to what I was before I can honestly tell that I have lost some of my mental abilities. The schizophrenia like symptoms of gradually disappear over time as the dompamine system gets back to normal. The psychological impact has not gone away completely although time has stopped the hallucinations and delusions and greatly reduced the distrustful paranoia. It took quite a while for me to overcome the social fears but I was finally able to, finding out that I hadn't permanently messed up myself in the romantic department. I shot up 2 different periods in my life for a total of I honestly don't know how long, but after 5 years of being clean I feel that I am faily close to what I might have been. It is a nasty drug that has the potential to do severe damage, but luckily it didn't do as much as it could have. Good luck with everything, please stay away from that evil stuff (I've watched it being made and know the ingredients which are BAD).

 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser » idolamine

Posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2005, at 18:00:46

In reply to Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by idolamine on December 30, 2005, at 23:07:58

> I don't have any hallucinations or delusions, so I guess that's good. More anxiety, irritability, and poverty of affect and speech.

it can be hard to figure sometimes...

i have had spates of abusing various substances... and i worry plenty (once i've stopped) about whether there are effects or not and whether they are going to be perminant or not...

and i have had spates on various medications... and i worry plenty (once i'm on them) about whether there are effects or not and whether they are going to continue once i'm off the med or not...

i would say...

that it might be hard to tease out whether your symptoms are due to your having abused meth for a time... or whether your symptoms are symptoms of detression which you might be experiencing even if you never had taken the meth.

depression and anxiety tend to co-occur...

those symptoms...

are typically found in depression too.

one of the hardest things i found... was wondering whether drugs / medications negatively impacted on my cognitive abilities... but you are doing well in school - right?

so maybe... things aren't (objectively) as bad as they seem to you to be?

 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser

Posted by shakeitoff on January 1, 2006, at 0:34:49

In reply to Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser » idolamine, posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2005, at 18:00:46

I used from march to oct 3 years ago. It took about a year to get thru the severe depression after and for the fear, paranoia, anxiety etc to dissapate. I went thru counseling for that year along with finding a good antidepressant for me. After 3 years I still have mild bouts of depression the occasional flashback, fear,anxiety attack from the trauma, abuse and drug. Now I can recognize it and deal with it. Have minor short term memory problems but other than than that it seems I get more nervous type problems than before so have to watch the caffeine intake. I'm very healthy otherwise...got to the gym regulary. I can now laugh at some of the weird things that happened.... I think I threw out most of the electronic equipment in the house ...I'm glad those smoke detectors did'nt have cameras in them. I'm glad to be alive to care for my children and I still have all my teeth:)

 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser

Posted by shasling on January 15, 2006, at 21:12:42

In reply to Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by idolamine on December 29, 2005, at 20:42:11

The bad news: I was a long term heavy addict (tho not a smoker) in the late 80's. When I quit, I had a seizure disorder I didn't have when I started. I was depressed to begin with, and was depressed when I quit, so who knows the difference on that? In the past 5 years or so I have become a zombie from dopamine dysfunction, and my memory is going like I have Alzheimers - sometimes I can't remember things like how many days are the in a year. I am 45 now. To this day my brain's chemistry is super-duper actuated to anything which affects noradeneline and/or norepinephrine, like Wellbutrin, Provigil, etc. It wasn't like that before I did all the meth. Who knows what the future holds for me.

So the bad news is, it can change the chemistry of your brain permanently and f you up for life.

The good news is you don't have to do it again, and you didn't do it for very long, so maybe you have dodged a bullet.

To be fair, the NIH has done studies that show that with time, normal function returns and you'll be okay. It just didn't happen in my case. Maybe it depends on the amount used. Google "NIH methamphetamine" and read up.

Good luck. Don't let it eat up your life worrying about it, but worry enough to stay away. Its truly a bad bad drug.


 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser

Posted by idolamine on January 17, 2006, at 22:24:53

In reply to Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by shasling on January 15, 2006, at 21:12:42

I just started on serzone and find that it makes me extremely jittery/anxious. This could be from the noradrenaline. I don't want to have my concentration diminshed from prozac. Thanks for your replies!!


> The bad news: I was a long term heavy addict (tho not a smoker) in the late 80's. When I quit, I had a seizure disorder I didn't have when I started. I was depressed to begin with, and was depressed when I quit, so who knows the difference on that? In the past 5 years or so I have become a zombie from dopamine dysfunction, and my memory is going like I have Alzheimers - sometimes I can't remember things like how many days are the in a year. I am 45 now. To this day my brain's chemistry is super-duper actuated to anything which affects noradeneline and/or norepinephrine, like Wellbutrin, Provigil, etc. It wasn't like that before I did all the meth. Who knows what the future holds for me.
>
> So the bad news is, it can change the chemistry of your brain permanently and f you up for life.
>
> The good news is you don't have to do it again, and you didn't do it for very long, so maybe you have dodged a bullet.
>
> To be fair, the NIH has done studies that show that with time, normal function returns and you'll be okay. It just didn't happen in my case. Maybe it depends on the amount used. Google "NIH methamphetamine" and read up.
>
> Good luck. Don't let it eat up your life worrying about it, but worry enough to stay away. Its truly a bad bad drug.
>
>
>

 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser

Posted by Paulbwell on February 5, 2006, at 1:07:28

In reply to Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by idolamine on January 17, 2006, at 22:24:53

> I just started on serzone and find that it makes me extremely jittery/anxious. This could be from the noradrenaline. I don't want to have my concentration diminshed from prozac. Thanks for your replies!!
>
>
> > The bad news: I was a long term heavy addict (tho not a smoker) in the late 80's. When I quit, I had a seizure disorder I didn't have when I started. I was depressed to begin with, and was depressed when I quit, so who knows the difference on that? In the past 5 years or so I have become a zombie from dopamine dysfunction, and my memory is going like I have Alzheimers - sometimes I can't remember things like how many days are the in a year. I am 45 now. To this day my brain's chemistry is super-duper actuated to anything which affects noradeneline and/or norepinephrine, like Wellbutrin, Provigil, etc. It wasn't like that before I did all the meth. Who knows what the future holds for me.
> >
> > So the bad news is, it can change the chemistry of your brain permanently and f you up for life.
> >
> > The good news is you don't have to do it again, and you didn't do it for very long, so maybe you have dodged a bullet.
> >
> > To be fair, the NIH has done studies that show that with time, normal function returns and you'll be okay. It just didn't happen in my case. Maybe it depends on the amount used. Google "NIH methamphetamine" and read up.
> >
> > Good luck. Don't let it eat up your life worrying about it, but worry enough to stay away. Its truly a bad bad drug.
> >
> >
> >
>
>
Perhaps you have been medicating a medical problem, read this persons account:

" Dexedrine only med that has worked
I have been suffering from ADD with unipolar depression ever since i was a child...when I was 16 I was put on prozac..ever since then have tried zoloft, effexor, wellbutrin, celexa, lexapro, serzone all without helping my symptoms.

I finally found a psychiatrist that was willing to try dexedrine and noticed a huge improvement within a matter of days. I have energy, motivation, can concentrate on everyday tasks so much easier!!

As far as side-effects...there were a few when first beginning treatment. one being dry mouth which was helped by chewing gum and drinking lots of water. and the second one was loss of appetite, but these went away in a couple of weeks and now experience NO side-effects from my medication.

there are a lot of myths out there surrounding the use of amphetamines..that they are dangerous, addictive, lots of side effects, could be abused, etc.

but what a lot of people don't really know is that amphetamines have been one of the most studied and safest medications for the treatment of ADD/ADHD, depression, etc.

when i was not on medication, i was self-medicating myself with crystal methamphetamine which is a supercharged amphetamine.

now that i am on dexedrine, i no longer have the need to abuse illegal drugs. and of course dexedrine could be abused to get high, but those with ADD/ADHD do not get any euphoria from taking their medication (according to the many studies i have read)

Currently I am taking dexedrine spanules 15mg."

Cheers


 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser

Posted by shasling on February 6, 2006, at 22:35:06

In reply to Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by Paulbwell on February 5, 2006, at 1:07:28

I was certainly self-medicating with the meth - I remember crashing when I was like 13 and since then sleeping my life away. Meth helped me make it through the day like other people. I've since last post been dignosed with and treated with cortisol for Addison's disease, and I don't feel sick anymore. I'm happy, energetic, clearer thinking, normal sleep patterns, I feel better than I've ever felt and that includes with the meth. For God's sake I've been taking truckloads of antidepressants and other psychotropics for 30 years and it was a physical problem. Go figure with these guys; the doctors, who never could see the forest for the trees. Lost 30 years to it, but I'm damn happy someone finally figured it out. Scares me how many other people here may be chasing a cure for the wrong demon.

Pharmaceutical grade stims have a place in treatment, but kids - do stay away from the meth. Bad bad bad stuff.

Hope you all find the relief you seek.

 

Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser » shasling

Posted by paulbwell on February 15, 2006, at 6:17:06

In reply to Re: Concerned ex-meth abuser, posted by shasling on February 6, 2006, at 22:35:06

> I was certainly self-medicating with the meth - I remember crashing when I was like 13 and since then sleeping my life away. Meth helped me make it through the day like other people. I've since last post been dignosed with and treated with cortisol for Addison's disease, and I don't feel sick anymore. I'm happy, energetic, clearer thinking, normal sleep patterns, I feel better than I've ever felt and that includes with the meth. For God's sake I've been taking truckloads of antidepressants and other psychotropics for 30 years and it was a physical problem. Go figure with these guys; the doctors, who never could see the forest for the trees. Lost 30 years to it, but I'm damn happy someone finally figured it out. Scares me how many other people here may be chasing a cure for the wrong demon.
>
> Pharmaceutical grade stims have a place in treatment, but kids - do stay away from the meth. Bad bad bad stuff.
>
> Hope you all find the relief you seek.

Yep' smoking the Meth crystals is as/ if not more reinforcing than smoking the dreaded Crack, so procede at your cost!!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!


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