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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JDavid on January 28, 2002, at 12:52:55
Hi,
I realized i have slowly became a kind of Zombie.
I've tried all sort of AD, Tca, SSRI and neuroleptics, but the only effect i've obtained is to loose all needs, all desires, all wills to live and to be "myself".
I've recently on paroxetine, the last of a long series of ad i was on, and, i must admit, my depression seems to be reduced. But I lay all day in bed watching the ceiling and my mind was only on simply thoughts like eating, sleeping, standing up and lying down.
This was not acceptable life! (for me).
So i preferred to keep my depression, my desperation my anxiety but feeling to be "myself".
So I did. I went off all meds.
Slowly things and thoughts got a little better; slowly i felt to return in me, to fell me again.
Now i'm depressed, sometimes i cry. Sometimes i would not to live yet. But now, sometimes, i feel the strength, that rise from my legs to my head and gives me and inexplicable desire of living.
My mood is under my shoes, but sometimes i laugh, and i speak, and i express all my feelings.
I don't wanna be anaesthetized anymore.
I wanna fell all signals my mind send to me, good or bad they are: I wanna feel me, good or bad i am!
I still lay down on my bed, but sometimes, suddenly, i fell a vortex of energy that cover me and push me up.
So i will go on this athipic brave antidepressant therapy that is to be on noone AD anymore, till my forces could make me live in this way.
But absolutely living my life!
Best luck to all of you, and may the force be with you!
Posted by bob on January 28, 2002, at 14:28:25
In reply to OFF all Meds: feeling better!, posted by JDavid on January 28, 2002, at 12:52:55
One last question to you:
Is one of your problems severe anxiety, or do you just suffer from depression?
Posted by JDavid on January 28, 2002, at 17:54:57
In reply to Re: OFF all Meds: feeling better! » JDavid, posted by bob on January 28, 2002, at 14:28:25
> One last question to you:
>
> Is one of your problems severe anxiety, or do you just suffer from depression?Mmmm....no, i think my problem is depression.
I think i've never suffered from anxiety.
Sometimes i'ld hope to be "a litte anxious" cause it could give to me a little more energy!
bye
Posted by TSA West on January 28, 2002, at 18:03:58
In reply to OFF all Meds: feeling better!, posted by JDavid on January 28, 2002, at 12:52:55
I heard that the psychotropic Tianeptine promotes the expression of emotions--a Selective Serotonin Enhancer-- giving people relief from depression and emotional experiences unlike those that some people get with SSRIs: xxx
Posted by Bekka H. on January 28, 2002, at 20:31:49
In reply to OFF all Meds: feeling better!, posted by JDavid on January 28, 2002, at 12:52:55
preferred to keep my depression, my desperation my anxiety but feeling to be "myself".
> So I did. I went off all meds.
> Slowly things and thoughts got a little better; slowly i felt to return in me, to fell me again.
> Now i'm depressed, sometimes i cry. Sometimes i would not to live yet. But now, sometimes, i feel the strength, that rise from my legs to my head and gives me and inexplicable desire of living.
> My mood is under my shoes, but sometimes i laugh, and i speak, and i express all my feelings.
> I don't wanna be anaesthetized anymore.
> I wanna fell all signals my mind send to me, good or bad they are: I wanna feel me, good or bad i am!
**************************************************Congratulations to you!!!!! You are so brave. I have been trying to do what you are doing, but I haven't given up all meds completely. Since September, however, I've spent more time off of meds than on meds, and I wish I could flush them all down the drain and never see another pill again. Most meds stifle creativity and rob you of who you are. They rob you of what makes you human. At best, most psychotropic meds make you go through the motions, but they don't seem to bring about the fundamental inner changes that I require. Keep up the great work. Even if you decide to go back on them for a while now and then, it is clear that you are on the right track. I hope I can do the same.
Posted by bob on January 28, 2002, at 20:55:40
In reply to Re: OFF all Meds: feeling better!, posted by Bekka H. on January 28, 2002, at 20:31:49
I agree... many meds take away a part of you - sometimes the essence of who you are. I think this is often realized when a person is on a med that does that, and then the treatment has failed.
Posted by IsoM on January 28, 2002, at 21:40:16
In reply to Re: OFF all Meds: feeling better! » Bekka H., posted by bob on January 28, 2002, at 20:55:40
> > "...I agree... many meds take away a part of you - sometimes the essence of who you are. I think this is often realized when a person is on a med that does that, and then the treatment has failed."
Weird, isn't it, how meds can affect us so differently? I'm big on psychotherapy if someone needs it & think meds shouldn't be the first choice in treating problems, but it's thanks to meds that I've got who I am back. Without meds, I know the person that shows isn't really me & it's only by correcting my brain chemistry that I can be who I am with a full spectrum of emotions.
Posted by Bekka H. on January 28, 2002, at 22:26:42
In reply to The Essence of Who We Are » bob, posted by IsoM on January 28, 2002, at 21:40:16
> Weird, isn't it, how meds can affect us so differently? I'm big on psychotherapy if someone needs it & think meds shouldn't be the first choice in treating problems, but it's thanks to meds that I've got who I am back. Without meds, I know the person that shows isn't really me & it's only by correcting my brain chemistry that I can be who I am with a full spectrum of emotions.
************************************************Yes, I see what you are saying. For many of us, I think the problem is this: "Meds -- I can't live with them, and I can't live without them."
I'm still on them, but in the past few months, I've been moving closer to living without them. The turning point came when I came to the realization that, whether I'm on meds or not, "life's a bitch, then I'll die," and the adverse reactions and side effects of drugs make this bitchy life so much more difficult than it already is!
Posted by 3 Beer Effect on January 28, 2002, at 23:36:00
In reply to OFF all Meds: feeling better!, posted by JDavid on January 28, 2002, at 12:52:55
> People wouldn't need as many psychiatric drugs if they made time for regular aerobic exercise & ate a healthier diet because doing so raises your brain chemicals (serotonin, norepinephrine, & dopamine) to a more normal level without the side effects of anti-depressants.
Posted by Bekka H. on January 29, 2002, at 0:12:28
In reply to Be sure to include aerobic exercise!, posted by 3 Beer Effect on January 28, 2002, at 23:36:00
> > People wouldn't need as many psychiatric drugs if they made time for regular aerobic exercise & ate a healthier diet because doing so raises your brain chemicals (serotonin, norepinephrine, & dopamine) to a more normal level without the side effects of anti-depressants.
***********************************************How right you are! Exercise is the best antidepressant/anti-anxiety agent I know of. And it's a lot less expensive than drugs and/or therapy! Some days I feel as if my meds don't work very well until I've exercised as least 30 minutes or more. Then the meds seem to "kick in." I guess it's some synergistic effect taking place.
Posted by IsoM on January 29, 2002, at 1:20:22
In reply to Re: Be sure to include aerobic exercise!, posted by Bekka H. on January 29, 2002, at 0:12:28
Posted by sjb on January 29, 2002, at 10:04:54
In reply to OFF all Meds: feeling better!, posted by JDavid on January 28, 2002, at 12:52:55
I hear you. I'm doing the same thing - since Jan 2 been off everything. Really weird, but sometimes I have more fight in me than before but like you said, the downs feel more "natural" like it's really me going through stuff.
I wish you all the best.
Posted by sjb on January 29, 2002, at 10:07:30
In reply to Re: The Essence of Who We Are, posted by Bekka H. on January 28, 2002, at 22:26:42
Amen - I'm printing out your post - want to read it everyday when I'm tempted to go back to my old ways.
Posted by Krazy Kat on January 29, 2002, at 10:52:05
In reply to OFF all Meds: feeling better!, posted by JDavid on January 28, 2002, at 12:52:55
I don't know quite how to put this without sounding condescending - please try not to take it that way, as I have been very bad with my phrasing lately. (It's probably the meds. :))
Do you think that this is a sign of the current over-medication of our society, expecially with AD's? That those who go off the meds, and then actually do Better, don't really have the big Depression? As a manic depressive, I have found that I absolutely cannot go off meds, and this is very difficult for me to admit. I turn into an overly-senstized psychotic without a stabilizer. Paranoia starts to play in (friends are out to get me), hallucinations, such vast agitated depression I come close to suicide. Someone like myself really must take meds.
But, then again, for those who aren't "at that extreme", I can certainly understand wanting to stop meds. Just be careful and have someone supervise you, even after the process.
- KK
Posted by JDavid on January 29, 2002, at 11:54:58
In reply to Re: OFF all Meds: feeling better!, posted by Krazy Kat on January 29, 2002, at 10:52:05
Thanks you all for your posts, words and share!!
I understand all particular situations, that are quite different from mine.
So i think that this is "my way" not the "best way" for everybody!
I wish you feel better indeed, in every way you are moving on!
Posted by IsoM on January 29, 2002, at 14:13:40
In reply to Re: OFF all Meds: feeling better!, posted by Krazy Kat on January 29, 2002, at 10:52:05
Yeah, Kat, I do think too many GPs don't always have the time to talk with patients trying to get at the root of their problems & think "ADs work so well" & prescribe them. Much like antibiotics used to be over-prescribed & years ago Vallium & Miltown were overprescibed with all the other bennies & downers. Many people didn't need to be on ADs in the first place. I think those are generally the ones who felt horrible on it & feel better drug-free.
I'm unipolar but feel *good* with meds & horrible without. I've always been like I am for as long as I remember too but notice it morea as I've gotten older. I'd hazard a guess that my particular brain chemistry has always been somewhat 'off'. Who knows the causes? I do know my father heavily DDTed our huge vegetable garden & our small chicken & dairy barn my entire life at home. Is the DDT to blame for my weird chemistry? Undoubtedly, but who knows what else contributed too.
Hope you feel better soon & find the right med for you. Still looking forward to the announcement of your pregnancy. (Personally, I think you've shown remarkable restraint & tact in your posts!)
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 30, 2002, at 19:50:51
In reply to Re: OFF all Meds: feeling better! » JDavid, posted by TSA West on January 28, 2002, at 18:03:58
> I heard that the psychotropic Tianeptine promotes the expression of emotions--a Selective Serotonin Enhancer-- giving people relief from depression and emotional experiences unlike those that some people get with SSRIs: xxx
Please don't use this board to direct people to sites at which medications can be obtained without presciptions, thanks.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#illegal
Bob
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