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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Robert Jose Smith on November 26, 2003, at 2:10:05
I feel like I have seperation anxieties. I'm in this relationship with this girl. She and I are not alike as she has this explosive temper and can really act like a toddler, she used to be worse. It's during these abusive times that you would think it would be easy to leave her, but I get so freaked out and feel this horrible guilt as if she's my responsibility. She basically doesn't want to work. I've spent all my $ and am trying to finish school. Traditional breakup methods won't work as she's so dependent she's nothing like when I met her (was a facade)--she can't keep a car or make money. She conned me out of taking Zoloft blaming that on the relationship troubles which is a common ploy to blame things). I broke up with la conquistadora but I was unhappy and didn't meet anybody so I've went back out with her.
So I'm miserable and I've even had other girls way more like me and more beautiful than her to go out with but I feel anxious. I just kindof stood this girl up who has ambition and a car and things in common with me and is beaufiul--I was nervous! I've got ADD what's the best med for me? Any recommendations?
Past experiences? The only thing I want to watch out for is a drug that is contraidicated for ADD.
I tried no drugs--but that was pretty lame;)
Posted by KimberlyDi on November 26, 2003, at 9:14:10
In reply to Empower Me To Get Out Of This Doomed Relationship!, posted by Robert Jose Smith on November 26, 2003, at 2:10:05
I would stop wasting time blaming all this on her. You are 1/2 of the problem, remember that. Put your troubles with her on the back burner and concentrate on fixing yourself. Go see a pdoc and a therapist. The pdoc to get back on an Anti-Depressant, and the therapist to weed through your feelings of responsibility and guilt for this woman/child. You might want to try a few CODA meetings (co-dependency anonymous groups).
When you know yourself more, and why you do what you do, knowing the right thing to do will come easier. Good Luck!
KDi in TX
> I feel like I have seperation anxieties. I'm in this relationship with this girl. She and I are not alike as she has this explosive temper and can really act like a toddler, she used to be worse. It's during these abusive times that you would think it would be easy to leave her, but I get so freaked out and feel this horrible guilt as if she's my responsibility. She basically doesn't want to work. I've spent all my $ and am trying to finish school. Traditional breakup methods won't work as she's so dependent she's nothing like when I met her (was a facade)--she can't keep a car or make money. She conned me out of taking Zoloft blaming that on the relationship troubles which is a common ploy to blame things). I broke up with la conquistadora but I was unhappy and didn't meet anybody so I've went back out with her.
> So I'm miserable and I've even had other girls way more like me and more beautiful than her to go out with but I feel anxious. I just kindof stood this girl up who has ambition and a car and things in common with me and is beaufiul--I was nervous! I've got ADD what's the best med for me? Any recommendations?
> Past experiences? The only thing I want to watch out for is a drug that is contraidicated for ADD.
> I tried no drugs--but that was pretty lame;)
Posted by raul on November 26, 2003, at 18:20:25
In reply to Empower Me To Get Out Of This Doomed Relationship! » Robert Jose Smith, posted by KimberlyDi on November 26, 2003, at 9:14:10
Why is he half the problem? Why not just call a bitch a bitch and leave it at that for once? Can't women ever admit that THEY may be at fault; not just men?
Posted by Robert Jose Smith on November 26, 2003, at 20:14:08
In reply to Re: Empower Me To Get Out Of This Doomed Relationship!, posted by raul on November 26, 2003, at 18:20:25
Thanks Kimberly and Raul for your advice. You are both right. I am 1/2 the problem and she's all b*@ch! I told my doc about the anxieties but I guess he shares my concern's about exacerbating the add (I suffer mainly from hating the work--if I do the work I'm fine). I think I'd like to try a new Med so I can end it with style--I'll have to get a new AD. I dread this holiday, as I take her home. The last car ride was a nightmare and I tried to drop her off at the nearest hotel half way home because she was attacking me (about 4 hrs)! I don't know how she weasels her way out of the averse situations. Now that I've written about that experience I remember more why she needs to go!
Thanks.
Posted by cookie0876 on November 27, 2003, at 12:04:44
In reply to Empower Me To Get Out Of This Doomed Relationship! » Robert Jose Smith, posted by KimberlyDi on November 26, 2003, at 9:14:10
Gosh, that soundd like me. I'm the girl, though, unfortunately. She needs help. I used to be ambitious and self-sufficient, and after a period of drug use I am currently completely useless. My boyfriend who gave me the drug in the first place has now broken up with me and said I'm totally different than when we met. I am depressed, and I went over there one night to find him doing drugs with friends and got upset all over again throwing a major fit and he called the police on me. Of course, they just told me to go home. I am trying to be independant and get my life back together - trying to forget him. Sometimes the best thing to do is break up and be alone for awhile. She'll probably be forced to get her life together, and so will you. Who knows maybe someday you'll get back together once you no longer need each other. Not everyone is totally bad, and usually not one person is to blame. There have had to been some good times. Just let each other go for awhile. I've decided to do just that. She'll be more appealing when she has her own life back in order, and so will you. And if y'all find that you are better off apart, you'll be happier that way too. It's hard to let go, I know...
Posted by KimberlyDi on December 1, 2003, at 13:23:12
In reply to Re: Empower Me To Get Out Of This Doomed Relationship!, posted by raul on November 26, 2003, at 18:20:25
Raul,
You don't have any anger issues, do you? or bad experiences with women? His 1/2 the problem could be that he simply let's the relationship continue (after all, he did go back to her once).
Anyone *in* a relationship is 1/2 the dynamics of that relationship. He HAS the power to end the relationship but doesn't. Why does he feel compelled to take care of this female adult who doesn't take care of herself? I think he should drop her off at her parents doorstep or a women's shelter.
I think that if he understood why he couldn't cut her loose, he would be much closer to taking care of the problem than he would be for just calling her some 5-letter word and blaming it all on her.
So have a BRIGHT SHINY DAY Raul.
KDi in TX
> Why is he half the problem? Why not just call a bitch a bitch and leave it at that for once? Can't women ever admit that THEY may be at fault; not just men?
Posted by stjames on December 1, 2003, at 23:23:45
In reply to Please be civil » raul, posted by KimberlyDi on December 1, 2003, at 13:23:12
> Raul,
>
> You don't have any anger issues, do you? or bad experiences with women? His 1/2 the problem could be that he simply let's the relationship continue (after all, he did go back to her once).
>
> Anyone *in* a relationship is 1/2 the dynamics of that relationship. He HAS the power to end the relationship but doesn't.here, here. It takes 2 to make a disfunctional relationship.
Posted by Robert Jose Smith on December 11, 2003, at 17:30:36
In reply to Re: Please be civil, posted by stjames on December 1, 2003, at 23:23:45
Thanks Cookie, you're right, once in a while she's okay, it's those other times I need to worry about. She's even seen this post and won't leave! I'm stuck in a bind and need to finish some school work before I can take her anywhere. She's just trying to weather the storm as always. The girl I like will be going home soon and winter break may be boring. La Conquistadora (as I've dubbed her on this post) has been again implementing sleep terroism on me. She woke me after only 4 hours last night and it's impossible to function. I think that's the point though. She's even seen a correspondence with my signifigant hopeful and is still here! If it were me, I'd like to think I'd have left pronto. And as far as Raul is concerned, I think he's just standing up for his hombre's;)
This is the end of the thread.
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