Posted by Shelley in Seattle on January 19, 1999, at 12:33:39
In reply to Re: Increased mood swings, posted by Shirley on January 19, 1999, at 9:54:05
Oh, how I know what you two mean! I am a great faker at work; so many people think that I am always 'so nice' .... when in reality, some days I wish I had it in me to stand on my desk & scream!
Sigh ... I have never been hospitalized & I don't 'lose it' in public, either. But you're right -- peopel seem to think if you aren't hysterical or in a melancholic coma that everything is okay, and nothing is further from the truth. I have often asked my therapist why I DON'T crack. Instead, I am doomed to be fully cognizant on the days when it is a living hell.
I too have thought of suicide and even tried in my youthful days (I'm 32), but I more often WISH I were dead just to get some peace -- I don't think I would really do it at this point in my life. But, contract killing -- now, that is something I will put in my dayplanner 'just in case'! :-)
I don't think it's morbid to joke about that stuff -- how else can we get through it? I think my warped sense of humor has literally saved my life a few times now.Anyway, back to the main topic (though I am the queen of tangents!), I think I may be starting to get a response to Celexa, finally. My mood is not so dour, and my frustration tolerance seems to have risen a bit. I guess it's a trade-off of sorts. I'll ask the Doc I work for about Ambien, after I look it up in the PDR! :-)
Have a good day, all!
poster:Shelley in Seattle
thread:2503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990501/msgs/2530.html