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Hey Racer, give us a minute here ...

Posted by Bob on October 20, 1999, at 12:28:32

In reply to Hm... How many men in this thread? (hint, hint), posted by Racer on October 20, 1999, at 11:39:54

... I'm still trying to figure out how much of being ugly, for men in general, is not so much a scarlett letter but, instead, a badge of honor! We're supposed to be proud of that spare tire ... its proof that we're good providers, evolutionarily-sound mates. And those love handles, you think we have them for us? No! Its our way of enhancing the overall experience, doncha know? Weekends are meant for not shaving or showering, even if you did sweat like a pig doing the yardwork on Saturday. Sure, there are men who are "passingly" ugly -- they really don't put in much of an effort, and are justly ridiculed for it. But then there are the hugely, monsterously ugly men -- men we like to place on a pedestal as an ideal to live up, er, down to!

Of course, that's all for show, gender-stereotyped socially-condoned behavior. I could never understand it myself. For instance, when you're 12 years old or so, why do girls think its so cool when boys belch loudly and repeatedly? Is it the same thing that makes Bill Murray so charming?

Anyway, of course I'm ugly. Spare tire (full-size, not one of those tiny emergency ones). Stringy hair with three major cowlicks and no even part anywhere (Once, I went to this fancy-shmansy Salon out in Great Neck to get my hair cut by my girlfriend's stylist -- $40 for a man's cut. I asked this expert lockstrimmer what he could do to make my hair look better ... he said "nothing.") Oh, then there's my teeth. Took a bite out of a dashboard on a sudden stop when I was five. Seems like part of my upper jaw stopped growing at the same rate. No one, not my parents nor my dentist, ever asked about braces. Anyway, I take that look in the mirror every morning when brushing my teeth and see all of that put together, and my girlfriend still can't understand why the thought of any intimacy is absolutely revolting to me. GACK!!!

... but I *do* have the coolest eyes (gray-green-blue) and a couple of cool scars in not-so-prominent places on my face, makes me feel particularly roguish with two days of stubble ....

Arg!
Bob

 

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poster:Bob thread:13470
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991016/msgs/13506.html