Posted by Bob on October 21, 1999, at 0:55:25
In reply to Noa, posted by Janice on October 21, 1999, at 0:21:32
Why can I laugh at it, Racer? Janice summed it up best, "Feeling ugly is ridiculous." I used to ridicule myself so much that I became numb to the shame and started laughing instead. More seriously, our society grants men the right to be ugly, and punishes women for being so. Okay, quick poll here -- who is better qualified for the description "double bag ugly" (or what we used to call the Oklahoma Double-Bagger, and no I don't know why): Bill Clinton or Monica Lewinski? My vote goes to the Schnozz (well, I do have a history of voting for him) but who was the butt (pardon the pun) of the late-night comics?
You wanna hear my Emancipation Proclimation? Stop purchasing goods from companies that advertise in magazines that promote unhealthy body images for women. Hit'em in the pocketbook, because they'll never respond to reason.
as for JohnL:
> I look in the mirror and I see this tall skinny boney scrawny guy with lots and lots of troubles inside.Man, you're a waif!! No wonder those women say all those things! It's like those Kate Moss-Obsession ads, but you're there instead of Kate. I always wanted to be a waif ... just couldn't do the chain-smoking or the occupational drugs to keep my 6'2" frame down around 105 lbs or so. Damn. I'll never forgiven McDonalds and Haagen Daas for this....
Back to Racer, tho ...
You ever get the feeling that, given a different set of circumstances or a different gene or two, you could have been this person hiding inside of you who you really think you were supposed to be? Somehow, somewhere, I acquired the ability to step out of who I am and, for a while, step into who I should be -- a person who is, in part, naturally gregarious and out-going, always playing the host/cruise director role instead of being painfully shy and buying clothes that match common wallpaper or panelling patterns/colors. I had some very good friends back in junior high and high school who kept dragging me out. In comes the ridicule part -- when I found that I could make people laugh by saying the things that made me cringe, I found being social easier and easier. Like I said, the words lost their meaning for the most part, but I did learn that role quite well and can put it on like a mask.Men are supposed to look professional, but outside of work we're either hunks or lumpyprolees. We've built a culture for ourselves that says its not just okay to be part of the unwashed masses, it's your birthright as a man. So, above all, don't rock the boat by bellyaching about your looks ... well, I refuse to finish the stereotype here because it just becomes too offensive, but I'm sure you all know our culture's connotation of men who are overly concerned with looking perfect.
Guess I need my own Emancipation Proclimation of some sort ...
Bob
poster:Bob
thread:13470
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991016/msgs/13555.html