Posted by CarolAnn on January 6, 2000, at 8:55:44
In reply to Re: my particular obsession (longish), posted by juniper on January 6, 2000, at 1:55:52
Thank you all for such great feedback! juniper, there's a reply below your comments...
>> i think somewhere i came up with that if EVERYONE liked me, then i really couldn't be that bad.
>
> on a related note, a few years ago when i was very severely depressed, i had an odd reaction to love, be it friendly, romantic, or familial. though i knew (rationally) that i had people who loved me, i simply couldn't feel, or understand, it. messages from my head lost their way to my heart. i am sure that i couldn't feel love because of the problems i had with self-esteem, not that this made it a speck easier......anyone else ever have this feeling?>>
>>
juniper, I know *exactly* what you are talking about here. I have spent years questioning the true feelings of people whom I knew, rationally, loved me, particularly my parents who are very undemonstrative people. I also, have always had an extreme attraction for men who are in positions of power, which stems from the idea that,"if such an important, powerful, man fell in love with me, then I would *know* that I have some worth!".
I've had two years of therapy, but obviously as Phil said, now that my medicine is working(somewhat), different things are coming up to the surface again. So, guess I better start looking for a therapist!CarolAnn
poster:CarolAnn
thread:18076
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000101/msgs/18195.html