Posted by Noa on January 11, 2000, at 7:02:30
In reply to Re: Never made it out...., posted by torchgrl on January 11, 2000, at 0:45:12
Torchgirl, I can relate to feeling overwhelmed. I don't think I am as anxious about being around people as you are, but sometimes the idea of being in public bothers me, especially in crowded places. Sometimes it is the multi-step process of doing errands that overwhelms me. Sometimes it is simply feeling too lazy to shower and dress. Perhaps lazy is not exactly the right word. Sometimes I feel "Why bother?".
My reclusiveness started when I had apnea, which made me so sleepy all the time. I would muster up any and all energy for work, and then on the weekends would sleep all the time, although of course the sleep was not proper sleep at all. Then, since getting my cpap machine, I was less tired, but had become so used to being reclusive on the weekends, it was like I forgot how to go out. I also had four years of disintegrating connections with friends, not making new friends, not building a network of people to go out and see. Now I am doing that part of it bit by bit, but sometimes I forget to make plans, or feel lonely that no one else has initiated plans. Sometimes I go out and keep myself busy, but feel kind of lonely doing it. Once in a while I do some volunteer work, and that feels good.
As for the messy apartment, I also have a problem that needs fixing--my bathroom sink faucet is running. It seems the washers were worn, and so I was squeeaing the taps closed tighter and tighter to stop the running water, and poof! the cold tap came out of its threads so now it doesn't go on or off. So there is a constant running of water and it is driving me nuts. But until I get this place in a minimum of order, I can't let the repair guy in here.
poster:Noa
thread:18487
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000101/msgs/18673.html