Posted by Sean on April 19, 2000, at 14:57:58
In reply to Re: Am I gay?, posted by Adam on April 19, 2000, at 12:20:05
I very much agree. I think the same polarity is
applied to our expectations of each gender as well.
While there are strong "tendencies" each gender has in
terms of behavior, these are often magnified by
our culture. I think there is much more overlap
than we are comfortable with as a society.In one sense, homosexuality is a "gender" issue because
it represents a decoupling of ones biological gender
from the expectations of society and some might
argue, ones plumbing. This decoupling also happens
to persons with various transsexual orientations.
Some of these studies have uncovered biological
markers of various sorts which I find fascinating
from an evolutionary view.In any case, it makes me very sad to see the gender
binary applied brutally - both to men an women, gay
and straight. The difficulty for people who are
outside the "norm" is that they face tremendous
pressure to "be like everybody else", whatever the
heck that means!Sean.
> Hey, Andrew,
>
> For one thing, as many people here have suggested, you are probably
> a bit young to be too worried about issues of sexual orientation.
> Having said that, you and I both know that at your age your body is
> (and probably has been for a year or two) changing pretty rapidly,
> as well as your level of curiosity about all things sexual. Who
> hasn't heard of the stereotype of teenage boys being fixated on sex
> and how to get it.
>
> A lot later in life (in my early twenties) I went through a period
> of deep (though completely irrational) concern about my sexual
> orientation. Luckily, at the time I was getting intensive psychotherapy
> for obsessive compulsive disorder, and my doctor helped me a great
> deal in dealing with issues of sexual identity.
>
> I think the most helpful thing he taught me is that, although we have
> this rigid system of classifying people as gay, straight, or bisexual,
> the reality of human behavior is far more complicated. Many people
> who are "straight" have had pleasurable homosexual fantasies, or even
> acutal homosexual experiences, but just have a strong preference for
> the opposite sex. The same goes for "gay" people. Many people who
> prefer the same sex have lived completely "straight" lifestyles for years
> without even realising they are "gay" until after they are married and
> have kids. The truth is, people are complex. Some theorize we are
> all to some degree bisexual, but can lean heavily toward heterosexual or
> homosexual preferences.
>
> I personally have no idea what is the best way to classify human beings
> in terms of their sexual behavior. I question whether or not such
> classifications are even useful. Mostly, I think, people just have their
> own preferences, and ought to be free to simply enjoy what they enjoy
> without having a label put on them. You have plenty of time to learn
> about yourself and about your own likes and dislikes, and I urge you to
> wait until you feel comfortable with whatever makes you happiest
> emotionally before you explore sexuality with another person.
>
> > i am 14, and I used to have a homosexual friend who was constantly filling me with the idea that i was gay, for his personal benefit. This was becasue he was attracted to me. However, one day I looked at him and thought he looked pretty cool with his new style. Since then I have these thoughts that perhaps I am homosexual. Despite the fact that I do not wish to be these thoughts are beginning to scare me. I dont know whether this means i ama gay or if it is just some normal thing guys go through or what. please help me!!
poster:Sean
thread:30294
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000411/msgs/30597.html