Posted by Cindy W on May 17, 2000, at 9:36:46
In reply to Re: I beg to differ ...To Cindy, posted by Alan on May 16, 2000, at 23:33:41
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> > Alan, I think you're right...the fact that you got to know each other (your therapist revealed things) made it difficult to continue the therapeutic relationship. Sounds like she became uncomfortable and didn't feel she could work through the implications. I would imagine that that would make it very painful for the client, when the therapist then says go work it through with somebody else...it's like losing a therapist, confidante, friend, "crush" all at once, which would really hurt. In the past, I've always held back in therapy, until now, and never had quite the intensity of positive feelings I have now toward my pdoc. Hope I can resolve it successfully with him. As a therapist, I've never had to deal with this (have always worked in state hospitals and now in a prison, where I'm not allowed to reveal anything, which really discourages transference, as does the rule that any untoward verbal expressions or behavior by an inmate gets them cuffed and disciplined by custody). So for me, transference and countertransference have never really been an issue, as a therapist. It's weird being on the other side of the fence! Just by virtue of being so intimate with someone (telling him/her all your life history, fears, mistakes, fantasies, etc.), makes it almost like a love relationship but without the physical intimacy. That's what pulls for the transference, I think. The therapist has to be secure enough in himself/herself and in his/her relationships not to need to reciprocate with emotional or physical intimacy. It's a very weird relationship. But it sure does allow all the client's projections, fantasies, and typical patterns to emerge! It seems useful but at the same time very scary.
> > I'm not sure I'd ever see the same therapist who's also seeing my spouse; that would be a little weird for me. I'd always wonder what they said about me when I'm not there. It's bad enough that my therapist sees a friend of mine (female). It's taken a while for me to realize that he does maintain confidentiality and doesn't disclose things I've told him in confidence to other people I know.--Cindy W
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> I wonder if I just asked to have a conversation with her if we could resolve this thing for me - and who knows, maybe she's curious. My wife stopped seeing her a couple of years ago and it's been several for me anyway. I know thorough my talk therapist who knows her well, that she learned alot from the relationship too. Do you think it would hurt Cindy? I wonder what the risks really are to such a conversation. I'm sure patients talk to pdocs down the road socially anyway...what is the matter with a talk with her on a one to one basis now...even if it is just for my sake. I wonder.
> Alan.
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Alan, you might want to talk with her and just "clear the air" if you feel that would resolve it for you. That's why I want to talk about it with my pdoc, because I want to be totally honest and work through things and not keep going on the way I've been going through life (because that sure hasn't been working!). Working through this stuff with someone I trust, who has good boundaries, who is very ethical, may help (I hope).--Cindy W
poster:Cindy W
thread:33299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000517/msgs/33764.html